Yes I laugh. Yes I smile.
But deep down I cry all the while.
Yes people like me. Yes, some love me.
But deep inside I want to shout go away.
Yes, I look sane (whatever that may be)
Yes, I look happy, not in pain.
But, happiness and pain share one thing, tears.
Tears of joy, tears of sadness. One and the same.
I cannot differentiate anymore.
Do you think some people are just born Eeyores? I do. I'm one.
If you always start low there's nowhere to fall.
So, who am I?
I'm a lie.

I can't see for the life of me
Why there is a future ahead of me
Unless I have an epiphany
Or be the person I wish to be
Then I think I should simply, die.

I inhale as much as I can, until my lungs are full
and inhale again to fill the void.
I hold it there until my brain begs me to release, and I do.
I hold my head under water with only my mouth and nose free to breathe
And listen to my heart beat
and nothing else and then I hold my breath as long as I can until it hurts and my heart starts to panic,
my brain doesn't know what to do so it doesn't do anything.
Everything becomes quiet
And calm like the sea after a storm
or the sky before one
Then I breathe, but it feels like dying.