Ego is full of words
Peace is speechless
It has nothing to prove
It accepts pain with a smile
And thanks the Earth
For the gift of feeling

Random thoughts like bees in the air
Simple and incoherent I catch them with my tongue
Only to swallow the depth in simplicity wrapper
A silly song on my mind and I hug the
Anxiety for never letting me rest
In and out goes the air and I string myself
Onto it like a bead in the necklace of
Everythingness and i know why I'm here
On this earth
Right now it's to fight the urge to dissociate
Into safe space of my imagination
Where I soak up every degree, every sound, every flavor not feeling
Guilty for taking a break to be the mother
My children deserved to have
On days like these there is not enough food
For my hungry mind except words and books
But I do like the grass stuck between my toes

I am sipping drop by drop whatever comes
This cup of destiny and accident
From this air emerges every cell
Of my body and into the dirt it will decay
In its due time without regrets
What loneliness feels like when held
On the open palm of your mind
Like a black hole unimaginable
Overwhelming hurt composed of illusion
That chains of our minds
Imagining connections
To last longer than lifetime
And into that black hole you will
Fall when you seek the tangible
Image to hold up your name
Emptiness and void
So human so feared yet
So nourishing like your mothers womb
Dark solitary primordial essence
Of absolute peace
Drink it up and let go

We sip our coffee and cream
  and drink our whiskey and beer
Then listen to wolves
   dressed as doctors
     with deaf ears
       and big empty eyes
        and blood stained teeth
Who tell us to dull the pain with pills
  and drown emotions
   in prescription prayers
    refillable
     at the small cost of our souls
And we sit in front of flat screens
  and smart phones and insta-gratification
    and press the illusion of our face
      between pages of a metaphor
        disguised as a book
And the imagined life is better
  than what is really going on
   so we script our day to day lives
     and step into the ring
       and wrestle like big men
         pretending its not just
           another form of ballet
We've doubled down on dumbing down
  and we're losing more than we're gaining
    but we keep spinning the wheel
      and the barrel
        and pulling the trigger
          playing the game
            of suicide
          and Russian Roulette
There is two bullets for every name
  and a bomb of every size
   waiting for its time to go BOOM
     and war is just a business
        for the rich
      payed for by the innocent
       and the ignorant
Death is big money
  and blood is cheap
    pump up the world population
      and the rise of inflation
        keep education at a minimum
          as well as a wage
Keep the poor hunger
  and give them an illusion to hate
    divide and separate
     fear is the season of reason
      needed to segregate and dissipate
       any sympathy or empathy
        or kindness or love
We live in a nation of sheep
  being lead by a pig
   and it sounds like fiction
    but it's horrifyingly real
     and he tweets and he oinks
      and he huffs and he puffs
       and he is just a sad little man
        having a bad hair day
         day after day
The world is watching
  and laughing
    a nervous laugh
Maybe it's nothing to worry about
  maybe I'm just late for my pill
   and my beer and my whiskey
    and maybe I just need a little
      cyanide and cream
       to lighten the mood
        of the black coffee news

In days like these speech flows like air bubbles
Of a silent fish that rests on marble countertop
Awayting certainty that comes with end
Not forest of unanswerable perspectives
That cut deeper than veins with judgement

And just like that all history becomes
Newspaper never published but
Its absence more tangible than real
Crumpled folds of fear held the
Sullen guts and useless bladder

Alone in cosmic vastness making circles
Around the sun not chosen
Attracted to the core unfelt
Gazing at the stars terrifying with the
Insignificance of recurrent aliveness
As they kiss each other
Every now and then

And movement was soaked in pointlessness
Chocking on inspiration escaping with
Perspiration and regrets of not being born
As a flying thing that poked its face
Under the surface and always escaped
The mandane shallowness of the salty realm

Last few gulps of insignificance that she never traded
For a set of scales that went with a shade of water
Or ones that fellows followed with a heart-shaped like
The feeling that falters all with a tickling
Of ungodlike triviality but a constant pull
Of destiny and she thought of start
And life that flew through birth and open wounds
'Twas love that made the difference
In the end it was love that made
All the difference
Love given true as a breath from within
Love that melted boundaries tenderly from without

With swollen knuckles
That pain my eyes
You grip at the handle of a door
That melts into your hand like hope
Sinking beneath the layers of failed
Attempts to release the light kept
Deep inside you fail and fail and
Fail again to stand and wish
To look outside your prison mind
And trust one thing
That heaven sent mystery
And you fall and fail, fail and fall
You hope like a daydream
Like a tattoo of unfulfillable promise
Like your mother says she's staying
But you know she's only wishing you'd stop crying
Never a heart beating truth
Your hope is such
A cocktail of futility and fireworks
Explosions dangerous so back off your
Mortal vessels a monster's here
So please do be afraid
And if the spark of heaven told you
The reflection is an illusion
And you sense the truth
Of a shattered mirror mind
And sense the purpose
In the undying image
Burned inside your eyelids
I'll run away for good
I'm good at running
For better days when wounds would heal
And world would change
And people take the turns
Hopping on converters clearly defined
Perfection and garbage
Package themselves and seal their limits
With inspected labels of satisfaction guaranteed
Ambiguity doesn't threaten my
Scared limitations
I'll promise you the world and hell
Wrapped together with one ribbon
If you promise me the way I like it
Perversely so the wind carries me faster
In the direction away and gone