Dear fear you are the air
I breathe as I tear my face off the pillow soaked
With dreams  of worry
You embrace me with all the meaninglessness
There is to the lethality of this game
Fear to hurt, to be hurt
To be too quick and not quick enough
To be disconnected and connected way too much
I drink you like a daily cup of poison
Like a morning vitamin that reminds me
Nothing is quite how it should
Not yet not enough not what it has to be
Fear of loosing the path
That was never found
And there isn't a way to know
And there isn't really a path
But what if it gets lost
Before it's ever felt
And what if it was felt
But the cup is full yet again
And what if nothing happens at all
If i dissolve into someone who
Isn't poisoned by your awakening
One step at a time you say
And I agree
And yet each morning
I wake to a cup of coffee and a pillow
Soaked with fear

For goodness sake why evil
If even true villain prefers to hide
Behind a priests disguise
Why cutting vein that held your
Weight and serpentine glare is
Glued to the bottom of the eyes where soul resided
Now childlike and afraid
What transformation
Miraculous awakening
Yet again, why evil?

Black crow why do you
Sing of fear louder
Than you breathe
The soft embrace of non existence
Is comforting beyond hope
And your hope is
Berried so deep underneath
Scraps of sharp memories
And sweat drenched dirt
That step in the direction of
Unknown makes you fall
Before you feel the ground under
The soles of your tired feet
Why don't you leave, dark bird?
Sitting here perched on the windowsill
Ever so unnoticeably
Glancing at the faces of the living
Urning for something
To remind you of
What you thought yourself to be
With not a grain of sympathy
Abusing only to relate
Quiet, bird, don't spill
The effort don't be like those
Accustomed to play the
Assigned roles
This isn't your tree but you may rest here
And I grew accustomed to
Your quiet noises and loud
Silences
I love silences the most
For the wisdom
Of simply coexisting
In proximity
That is always comparative
Always devastatingly far
And dreadfully close
And if I wanted you to go
All I need is ask you to stay

Clouded delusion of
Axis grandiose
Round and round spinning
Eternity and all there is
Is what this speck of a body
Feels inside the endless universe
One perspective and the totality
Overwhelmingly insignificant
And dangerously vital
Looking from the inside out
To find reflection
Of its tiny authority
Seeing only the pieces that
Resemble all familiar
From the inside in
All else is ******* and boredom
From me to myself
Possessed by none but
Sensation of my existence
Divorced from divine tinkling
Of perfection that could never
Fit in my grip until I finally
Learn to let go
To look from the outside in
And accept the beauty of the
Sand grain's imperfections
And with all my being
Give warmth to feel connected
We are but grains of sand
So let's lay here under the light
Of exploding suns
Feel the life as it flows through our veins
And simply be a good company

It is
And it's changing
The wind into summer shower
Into mushrooms and birds mouth
From river to the sewer
It is and it's changing
From dark to light to dim with
Speckles of sun born by the
Mirror in you childlike hand
You are catching dust bunnies
Sneezing and laughing
And the dirt could be followed by magic
And the kiss isn't greased by the notion
Of sin and the sin is only a word from the book
Death and insanity
Are frightening and profound
Your world is built from
No buts but ands
And they flow into peace
Just as well as the film of oil
On the ***** puddle
Astonishes you with
An iridescent rainbow
Duality is born by fear
You split and separate so
Caught up in the survival game
To keep that face and partake
Of wealth and fame
Empty is locked in the dungeon
And the words interlock
In plain patterns
Yet alive as they produce sounds
And the smell of tangerines
On a tree by the coast of Sicily
Reminds you of the day
When you could still enjoy
The warmth of sun
It absorbed into its juicy flesh
And there's no need to run
No need to stay
No need to cut off the ties
When life offers you more
And the heat and cold are feelings
That gets names as they replace each other
As they flow unstoppable
Dripping reactions
Burning like acid and smooth like milk
All in one glass
And when you have no thoughts
Ask questions
And when you feel the pain
Stay present and consider humanity