Do I turn off the repeats of everyday

          Like static of un-tuned channels.
My mind teeming in irregular haze...

Do I turn off the repeats of everyday

          I'm a cancelled reality, ill no longer
Be a rerun as my end credits fade to nothingness..

The boy who cried wolf
No begged for one to appear
Dangerous and disgusting
With eyes that cut through the night
With teeth bloodthirsty
Rip his clothes and skin to shreads
Reminding the boy
Of everything he wished to forget
Oh dear wolf
Prove that I can be your worthy victim
Share this life with me
And swallow the punishment
At the end of my riffle
So I can be legitimately
Disappointed

There's a risk in every step
There's also very little choice
The feeling says it must be this way
The mind says turn around and go
The "normal" way
And less questionable
Fall into a familiar pattern
Or pretend to think for yourself
In the end the end is near
And we'll see each other soon
Here or beyond
Yet we fear
Yet so significant our path seems to be
Too important for some to risk
Too important for some
To go along the beaten path
Too important to feel the doubt
Too important to seek the truth
And that was planned too
Silly specs on a giant flying ball
Of dirt, rock and water

All alone in the world is what we are
The rest is but an illusion the rest is temporary
I look outside the window
Pigeons are picking up crumbs
Just like they did centuries ago
The winged dinosaurs of our time
And I am a dinosaur - too big to fit into a
Comfortable frame
I see too much, feel too much, love too much
Hurt too much, think too much
But I don't mind, let it be
I treasure this truth
It injects life into my veins
Pain gives inspiration
It links me to another
When I dive into their eyes
In search of humanity
And gather pearls on unity
That wrap me up with warmth
Of a thousand hearts
With it I am not afraid
To sease and never be again
And when I look my death
Into her cold empty sockets
I  will praise it for teaching me
To be greatful

Hectic morning
Lovingly frustrating
Adrenaline rush as ever
My edgy morning self
Not enough songs
Then choices vetoed
It's frozen again
Letting it go before I lose my mind
Crepes for breakfast black tea
Lunch boxes unbrushed teeth
Morning kisses goodbye
Comfortable smooches and a shot of warmth
From ever caring husband
Simple
Then rush to the doctor
Cute middle eastern girl
Head wrap so feminine
Young slender body
Pretty smile
Innocently talking me into full check
With dermatologist
Hell why not
Oh man
Young man
Oh man don't you ******* flirt with me
Before removing my gown
Oh ****
Flashback 10 years ago
How I hated those ******* ***** faces
Flashback public pool in turkey
Eleven years old
Some blue eyed *******
Out stretching his limbs
In a most perversely uncomfortable way
Pretending it's a game
Then rushing to share with friends
Here laughing
Hello to my first adrenaline rush
Ashamed to tell my parents
I'm still here
He is a doctor isn't he?
No worries
He's covered by insurance
******* middle eastern beach
Need a drink
Waiter flirting
Stop looking me in the eye
You old looser
Am I hot?
******* ******* for asking that question
With that ******* expression
Adrenaline is still here
Here to stay because it's nice to be nice
And how I hate those ******* guys