I find the idea of soulmates
irritating
The idea that there is one person out there
Floating around in the universe
That you somehow out of 7 billion people
Coincidentally meet and they complete you
Complete you
As if you weren't a whole person before
And suddenly nothing else matters because
They are the One who knows you best
And you couldn't possibly love anyone else
Than this one person in your entire life
What utter crap

*Why is our society so obsessed with falling in love
but not actually being in love?

You tell me, "It doesn't have to be this way."
But it's the only way I get through another day
I'm a dreamer and a runaway
You locked me in, told me to stay
"Stay quiet, stay here, stay out of my way"
I'm not a doll in your "happy family" play
Ungag me cause I've got hell of a lot to say
You should have left this dog sleeping where it lay
Don't act like I'm the problem, dear
Just because I can't survive living here

I'm here again and I wish I weren't
Stuck between abject apathy
And being overwhelmed
By everything set before me
Don't
Leave me here alone
To do this by myself
I need to know that you're here
To know that if I fall I won't be
Locked in this house alone
Caged and lonely
(I need to know that those I love love me)
(I need to live in their presence)
I don't need anything
But you here with me
Please stay by my side
And I can face it all

My head is a thundercloud
Roiling with depressing thoughts
And deep claps of apathy
That give way to startling flashes of anxiety
Still, I know, this too shall pass

Time is irrelevant to me
It passes and yet I do not move
By running from myself I end up
Imprisoned by my inability to decide
Which direction to go
What to do with myself
Who I want to be
So I go to work and do what is
Expected of me
Of someone who is ruled by time
Avoiding my mind
And I stay where I am
As others pass me by,
Not realizing that I have frozen,
That time is not a constraint
For those who are alive but not living

In college, I had a friend that we called 'dad'
Because he made awful jokes and puns
And he herded us wild things
But whenever we came back
From holidays you could expect
That all of your knickknacks
were on your bed artfully arranged
And when you were down
He would commandeer
My roommate's horse puppet
(Yeah, you read right, she had a horse puppet)
And do voices and 'bite' you
Until you complied

"Relationships are important." The fox said.
" You create this bond between me and you
And though we must eventually part, this bond
Makes even the stars seem more brilliant and
Each rose more unique than the last"
You see, we were built to
Meet and part and meet again, over and over
And eventually we will part for good,
But that does not make the time we
Spent together meaningless, it is not
Wasted but we taught each other things
And felt things that no two others could
Ever think to teach or feel
So thank you

There is solace to be found
In finding someone who understands
At least in some manner who
And why and how you became
What you are and has no
Problem telling you where you
Wrong but also how impossibly
Correct you are and expects something
Of you, yet understands if you fall through
For some reason or another and does not
Hold that against you but encourages you
To try again and knows how capable you
Are and how strong, how beautiful, how
Fragile your heart is, knows that you are
Infinitely more and worth so incredibly
Much more than you would ever accept

When the roof of your heart begins to
Crash down atop you and you feel
Yourself suffocating they let it fall on
Them so that you can breathe enough
To figure out how to prop it up again

I like how the internet connects
A web truly is an apt description
Pull this string to meet someone
from halfway across the world
who likes the same books as you
Pull that string to learn a new skill
Read a few articles, look at some examples
welcome to the world of graphology
Pull a different string to enter the bazaar
Access to the world's marketplaces
from wherever you are
But most of all, I like how there's
somewhere to hear other's stories
and gain some new perspectives

I, a brave  and naive soul ,
Was born into this wicked world
Wanting nothing more than  
To become someone loved
And someone necessary

It didn't matter to whom
Or by whom this may be
And I soon learned that
That someone might not be family
Even though it broke me repeatedly

I learned quickly
About how my father
Is the mighty hero of the story
And I, as one of his lowly children
The lecherous, lazy villain

And my mother
His naive yet lovely maiden
Always quick to defend
Him, not me, not us her brood
Yet has the gall to say she is on my side

And somehow I wonder
How there is a part of me that still hopes
Still dreams of great things
Still reaches out in hope of more
Still believes that I can be cherished

How this villain can become someone's queen

Life is full of so many surprises
We try to predict it with cards and stars
Bend it to our will with plans and savings

But what would happen if we just let go?
If we decided that worrying is more stressful
than not
If we decided that one day's burden was enough

But we are afraid of the unknown, we're just human,
after all
Yet we stride forward bravely into the  unknown
Day by day, unaware that the future is already here

For many of us, being asleep
Is not terribly different than being awake
We interact with our hopes, fears, and wishes
And often see those around us

Most of our time passes unnoticed
Not many things take us by surprise
Enough to take note of it for later
The only differences are action and actuality

Sometimes I think that I'm free
That I've conquered the demons
And am on to bigger and better
Then something simple catches me off guard

"Where are you going?"
An innocent question from a  friend
And it's fight or flight
Those words drag me back, back, back

And how dare I let such ordinary things get to me?
Why can't I move on like everyone else clearly did?

No, I don't have a boyfriend
Or a girlfriend for that matter
Why should I be infatuated
With someone I barely know?
I love nature, I love mountains
I love sitting all day in a lean-to
because it's pouring rain mid-June
I love it when I can't quite jump
To the next rock and
Splash!
Oops, I stepped in the stream
I love going over bridges
I love the still quiet moments of
"This is enough for me"
I love imperfect moments made perfect

Many people use diamonds as metaphors for the worth of hard work
Or a 'refining fire' in which pain and effort make you stronger
What they don't talk about is that diamonds aren't that rare anymore
Everyone has their individual struggles
Everyone works hard for their dreams
And everyone loves a happy ending
But the American dream is a dying thing

A diamonds' worth lies in their symbolism, of promise and unity
But even marriage doesn't last very long anymore
My cousin was married for eight days
I guess what I'm wondering is,
What is the worth of a dream?
Does it fade like that of a diamond?

I think that too often we become complacent
We want change and wait for it to come to us
We expect others to welcome us in yet we don't go out to meet them where they are
We crave intimacy but are too afraid to bare all of the hidden, rotten places
We want healing but we're the ones who let the hate fester
We want love but we're afraid of getting attached
We want to try something new but only if you do it first