this feeling
its the memory of pain
its loneliness
its shame
its the drive to cut
its the need to disappear
I hate it
it wont let me be happy

People will disappoint you
Find your hero within
Confidants are few

Worshiping athletes is through
Trash jerseys in the bin
People will disappoint you

Hero worship is taboo
Celebrities and spin
Confidants are few

Others will lead you askew
Fidelity is thin
People will disappoint you

Parents can lose luster too
Once hero, now has been
Confidants are few

Bid pseudo heroes a dew
Your hero dawns your skin
People will disappoint you
Confidants are few

Jennifer didn't get enough sleep last night. She was up until 3 AM writing a book report. She just finished her fourth cup of coffee with cream and extra sugar. She's starting to get the shakes.

Bobby fidgets nervously in an unnaturally comfortable seat in the waiting room of Dr. Stein's office. He got drunk last weekend and decided it would be a good idea to have *** with a girl who's known among as friends as "The Town Bus." She's a rather large girl whom almost everyone Bobby knows has had a go with. Bobby does his best to resist the urge to relieve the itch centered around his nether regions that introduced itself two days ago. He resists the urge successfully and continues to squirm in his seat. He's starting to get the shakes.

Ian looks down at the empty black garbage bag on the floor in front of him. He turns his head to his right and peers into his shadow-ridden closet. He thinks about the girl he met at the park last night. Her name was Mallory and she had such beautiful brown hair and blue eyes. Ian picks up the empty garbage bag and pushes back rows and rows of other bags, hanging neatly and silently in his closet. They're all filled, so Ian has to muster all of his strength to push them to the end of the rack pole. He mounts the empty garbage bag onto a hanger and hangs it next to the rest. Mallory, sweet Mallory wafts into his thoughts again. Ian runs his hand down the smooth black plastic, hanging solemnly, and empty, before him. It tells him it's disappointed. It tells him it's hungry. Ian hasn't killed anyone in three weeks. He purses his lips and looks down at his hands. He's starting to get the shakes.

I don't know what to do
with your sadness
with your pain
long gone are the days
when my voice lit up your face
when my lips were your favorite taste
now you cry over another pretty face
and my kind words fall
rotting at your feet
we hold to friendship by a slowly breaking strand
I steal your attention when I can
this wasn't how it was supposed to be
not the plan
I wasn't supposed to hurt
not me
I miss the days when I was the reason for your smile

A ride.
Nighttime.

Big like a man but
wrapped like a present
in paisley spandex
she wails at the world.

ain’t life Good.  
Ain’t life good to me.

Rain stains her cheeks
As I walk by she shrieks

You ain't all that.
you Ain't all that to me.

Sleeplessness
Brought to you by sparkling espresso in a can
I have underestimated you yet again, oh humble coffee bean
But back to work
Eight tabs open, going back and forth
It's nothing short of a miracle if any given task is given more than a minute of attention at a time
Muscle spasms, trembling, fascinating
Overwhelming urge to mindlessly flex the muscles I don't have
Fake machissimo brought about by exhauation?
Or the exhileration of having to complete 8 projects in a day
While simultaneously trying to grasp a breaking down of my mind which hasn't happened since...forever
Hmm
These are the prime conditions to breed a taxing marathon of productivity
Or a chain of costly impulsive decisions to perpetuate procrastination.
Signs that someone is going crazy range from ****** to inability to stick to a single topic to excessive use of run on sentences
"How meta, acknowledging your insanity deconstructs the very notion of it if you normalize it within yourself and just look as everyone else as crazy! Ha.ha."
That made no sense, i don't think.
I like using big words to make myself sound smart you can make anyone believe anything if you use big words also it scares those
Hippopotomonstroesquipedaliophobixlcs
Grumble grumble
Good night/morning/whatever