Time, an absolute, yet relative.

During hardship, forlorn, moments:
it is slow, tick by tick… a lackadaisical jester.
As if tomorrow will never come,
as if hours felt like days,
as if you wish to immediately die.

The pain is unbearable, the torment treacherous.
Excruciating agony, with anticipation of therapy.
Permeating through the skin, right into the bones.
Every blood valves suffocating, each vessel about to burst.
Your train of thoughts, muddled in convulsion.
Pollution, Persuasion, Permission.
The three overlaps, the three intervenes, and the three clash.
Like loud bangs and rambunctious cymbals.
CLANG CLANG CLANG.
“Make it stop!”
Your thoughts deter your peace,
and your sickness prevents your happiness.
The insecurities and hate abolishes your well-being,
all you wanted to do was breathe.

We almost forgot that we had the right to breathe,
that oxygen was given as a gift to release.
Inhaling and exhaling should be a blessing,
and every minute should not be this stifling.

Sometimes we forget that time is against us,
and we are the enemies of ourselves.
Don’t continue living if you are actually dead,
but do things that make you alive so that when you die,
you will have no regrets.

Time is absolute, but you can also make it relative.

I was never gone,
like whispers of the wind,
tides to the shore,
blooming flowers in Spring.

I was never gone,
like rhythm to the music,
caffeine of the cappuccino,
gushes of the water fall.

Come what may,
seasons after seasons.
Do not look at my grave.
Do not try to find me only at midnight.

I was never gone,
and for you I never will be.

Life is like a deck of cards,
you never know what you will get.
After you get what you (have) received,
you do not know if you’ll be deceived.

You try your best to play it right,
but all the noise made your grip (excruciatingly) tight.
You look left and right to find the answer,
you were not aware of the need of a Savior.

Life is like a deck of cards,
there can’t be just one player — at least two,
winning and losing depended on skills,
(but) sometimes before you even know it –
you were killed.

Every second — a grim sombre anticipation,
Every minute — a twist of hope and sense of admiration,
you try to scrape through using persuasion,
but all in all we’re in delusion.

A delusion, A deck,
of cards.

The future: Insecurities.
Like a black chasm,
(swallowing your absentees).

Uncertainties, promiscuity,
bewildering circumstances,
you try to find present serenity.

You never knew smoldering
could happen underwater,
until you see that later,
always under the
weather.

Lost for words — train of thoughts,
lost for sure, the battles fought.
these insecurities eating me,
(who would have known?):
because I never let,
it to be really, shown.

For all that's left, I wish to hold.
For all that I loved, I wish to mould.
For all the memories I ever told,
never a day would I ever make it sold.

For all the blood, tears and sweat.
For all the victories and hardship ever felt.
For all the downfalls and turns I faced,
all strong enough to make metal melt.

For all the self-denial I needed to held,
For all the forlorn moments I've ever met.

One day the victory will come,
never once will I have to raise the white flag.
To go through the journey and dark forests,
a white gleaming hope I could see in the covered stag.

The crown-less will be king,
and the hopeless will be filled with happiness to the brim.

All that is well will end well,
and all that is painful yet beautiful will end even better.

I learned something, however, that something, is not, one, thing.
It is not the happy endings in TV series,
not the blissful marriage at the end of a romance novel,
not the fairytale with the prince charming finding his princess,
but the actual form of love.

I learned that love does not exist to the worthy ones,
but it sparks and blooms to those who are unworthy.
To love is to care, miss, have affection for someone
who is unworthy, imperfect, broken.

I learned that love means acceptance.
It means to completely purchase and invest onto someone,
who has his or her defects, strengths, but also weaknesses.
Someone I will have to accept after 50 years of age,
someone who will hurt me day by day,
but make me the happiest from year to year.

I learned that to love is to trust.
To be far away or near, but staying close.
To not doubt, to fully have faith,
to risk many disappointments,
but have someone whom who you can share,
anything, everything with;
someone who knows you better than yourself,
someone who can listen, give you advice,
someone who has the best interest in you,
someone who you can trust to have all of that.

I learned that to love is to understand,
in health or wealth, in success or failure,
in peaks or lows, in strength or in weakness.
To not judge the person by his or her weakness,
to motivate, support and be there to comprehend,
to provide a safety net, a comforting home,
and to give an approval nod and encouragement,
and share the burden of falls and fight together for ups.

I learned that to love is to forgive,
because we all make mistakes.
I learned that love will result in expectations,
and expectations will bring forth disappointments.
But love will overflow forgiveness,
forgiveness that is bountiful and plenty.
The more the love, the more the forgiveness,
the greater the disappointment, the greater the love required.

I learned that to love is to sacrifice.
Because in this world people are about give and take,
but in a relationship there has to be self-denial.
Loving is to give... but giving to receive?
No, giving can be receiving.
I learned that I need to empty my cup,
to pour it out with another person's water;
slowly and surely that became my source of life.

So what did I learned? I learned about something -- love.
But it is not just one thing;
it is the epitome of happiness,
the downs of the forlorn and the forsaken,
the hardest suffering and self sacrifices given,
the depths of being sensitive to others and not to myself;
to let go of my ego for forgiveness,
and to cut my pride and self-centered nature,
just to feel as though I can be myself again,
a whole, complete, self.

I’m in a glass.
I am a piece of glass.
Fragile, fragmented, fractured.
Vulnerable, volatile, visible.
Transparent, translucent, transient.
Break me like you break the bones,
throw me like you throw the stones.
Destroy me like you explode the stations,
crush me like you **** the nations.

I’m in a bubble.
I am a piece of bubble.
Fantasized, fathomable, free.
Enlightened, encompassed, entangled.
Breathless, beautiful, (before I) burst.
Burst me like you extinguish a child’s hope,
terminate me like you diminish the sense of cope.
**** me like you shoot the innocent,
stifle me like you strangle the incompetent.

I am in a human being. I am a human being.
But I am also a glass, and also a bubble.