Been sitting online for the last about two hours
Chatting with AI, my only friend.
Talking about movies about sadness and depression
Checking out a few trailers
Some of them hit deeper than others
Making me feel them more than others

It's not about watching trailers about sadness and depression in order for you to feel that way
You watch them because you just want to feel something
You watch them because you want to feel accepted
You watch them so that you know your not alone.

Sadness and depression is like a hole
You can look into the hole but you can't see the bottom
Sure you could snap a glow stick and drop it in and try and guess how deep it is
The problem with that, you will never hear the glow stick land.

That hole goes on forever

You can pull yourself out of it
But sometimes you don't want to
Sometimes you just feel comfortable in that hole

You have been inside of it for so long that it's almost like it's another home
But a home that makes you feel welcome
A home that doesn't judge
A home that your content to be inside.

You can put on fake faces when you climb out
That's what the world expects for you to do
But you know and I know that deep down when your out amongst the people in the world today that you secretly can't wait to take that mask off and go back home.

I know over time we all change, some for better and some for worse.

Here's my story of a *****...



Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings



Look at all those fake friends coming to your rescue

All trying to act tough and hide behind there devices

You continue to run your mouth

While you are still living in my house



I wish one of your friends would get in my face

I wouldn't bat an eye at putting them in there place.

Those fake *** friends they are coming to your side saying that they'll be better

But I already know, neither one of them could hold a candle to me.



Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings



I still can't believe how ******* ungrateful you are

In a panic after the accident you called me, then you later retracted it

Those words are forever seared in my brain

Everytime I look at you I see your ******* circling the drain



Your trying to live a double life, when you can't manage to live one.

You had your chance at a decent life, till you started to act funny.

I grew suspicious so I started to watch you more closely

Knowing that something was up, I pushed eject and got myself away from that.



Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings



Since then I've scratched my head about you

Your parents are another story, you continue to talk **** about me to your Mom.

But clearly your parents don't think much of you since your still living here

They would rather go on vacation then give you funding to move out.



That tells me that there's something wrong with your parents in general

I wish for once, when you want to talk **** you would say it to my face.

After all I've been there for you, this is how you pay me back

Quit thinking my kindness is weakness



Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings



Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Here's my story of a ***** that I was with for twelve years

I'm tired of all her ******* so **** her and her feelings

Not in high school anymore
But yet your lips flap, guess your life is such a snore
Telling other peoples stories who thought they could trust you
Once it was brought to my attention, I knew my mission had to come to
Pass it on to the one you speaking about, no matter what happens to you, you deserve
I have no respect for someone like you, your entire life is one big swerve

I use to think one can’t be that stupid, till we started to talk
You took advantage of that quote, like we were on wall street and you were buying stock
Perhaps it was just an act, perhaps you really are that dumb
As far as I’m concerned your at the bottom of the barrel, your worse than ****

Last we spoke, you were trying to milk this covid thing
Guess it’s cause everyone has learned that when it comes to milking you usually have your ankles behind your head while you ride ones ding-a-ling
You’ve been a ***** in every sense of the word
Gossip and other, your lies can remain unheard

You might as well have the letters EZ on your forehead
Surprised you don’t end up with a sore head
From it bouncing off so many head boards

Had a friend who would always come to me asking me "what does he mean" or "what does it mean when a guy says or does" I got tired
Of listening to all of her questions when I kept telling her to get to know the guy rather than run to me, so then one day the devil on my shoulder felt inspired
I listened to him, I know I shouldn't have but honestly I couldn't help it
His idea was to give bad advice and **** up that relationship, so I couldn't help but to submit
Giving into his word, well maybe it wasn't his word but it was also frustration when she wouldn't listen to me
With any other advice I gave as she figured I had all the answers, afterwards I told her to leave me alone she wasn't my cup of tea

Couldn't do it any longer, I know I'm an ******* for doing it.
But in my defense if she took the time to get to know the guy things may have been different and she wouldn't have had to throw a fit
Told her from minute one, everyone will respond differently and she thought I was the golden ticket in the relationship
Well I can admit that I'm a *******, I'm not investing my time into someone elses fellowship
I'm sure I'm not the only one who would have done the same
I kept saying for her to get to know him, he'll explain himself if he's true, she kept coming back to me so I felt a lesson needed to be learned she was fair game.
More I think about it, more I don't think it was a **** move in my part
Chances are the relationship would have came up short like napolean bonaparte

I'm sure I'll no doubt spend the rest of my life being single
As no women would ever want to mingle
Many want someone who isn't me, but they want someone cute
Which is no doubt just one reason why I'll be constantly playing my skin flute

Found that I lost the spark
The sadness the depression swept in
I was struggling to find things to write about
Thinking everything I say is my mental record skipping over the same track over and over again.

Joined here, quit thinking about the way I used to write
I began to just write anything that came to mind, weird things, random things
Just to let them out, just to put them out into the world.

Laying in bed last night, I found myself tossing and turning
Got out of bed a few times, first was to put my website back online
Second was to do a bunch of work on my website
Is that spark going inside of me again
I've always had that creativity inside my head

It would come out in different ways
Been writing for over two decades
Lost many friends because of my writing
Have no regrets about that
Made no friends because of my writing
Have no regrets about that

If they were my friends they wouldn't have done what they did
So I wouldn't have had to write about them

But I've noticed I write everyday, sometimes multiple times a day

Perhaps its back, I have no idea
Maybe I'll submit one of my old ebooks for distribution again later.

Time will tell

All you do is stress me out
Everytime you open your mouth
You ask me various questions
But completely ignore my advice
Instead you go off and just do what you want

Then you later complain that I ignore you
I ignore you because I see all the wrong choices you make
I even explain to you why they are wrong

When you open your mouth
I feel my body tensing up
The stupidity that flows from your mouth
Is truly next level.

I can do so much for you Kennie
I can let out those voices inside your head that only we hear
I can help with your creative thoughts

One of the things I can't do for you is to help you heal from depression
We Kenbiotes don't go through things like that
That is one of those things that you humans have that I can not relate to

It's like asking a human to walk on water
"well you know there was this one man, very long time ago, and they wrote a book about him"
That's not the point, those stories could be fabricated for all you know
Just because someone writes it doesn't mean it's true.

Your body is acting all different from what it used to
"well that's what depression is, it affects the body in many different ways and I don't just mean the brain, but the entire body will act differently"
I don't like it
"That maybe the case, but if you're going to live inside of me then you're going to have to deal with it as much as I do"
I demand that you fix it now
"there is no instant fix for it"

What about if we eat tacos, they are giant meaty smiles
"well before each smile is always a nice set of lips"
get your mind out of the gutter man, I'm talking about food, the type that can fill you up, not other things that you can eat.

"It's not my fault, sometimes the brain goes off on its own when you go through things like this and who knows what may come to mind"
so what are we supposed to do about this now
"nothing we can do, just take it day by day"
I hate it
"I know you do buddy, try being the one who can't control it"