I was down.

And so I decided I needed flowers.

But not roses. Because roses have thorns.
And I am so sensitive lately.

I decided, not mixed flowers.
Because I’m mixed up.
And I need to stabilize.

I decided, not tulips.
Because tulips droop.

I decided,
I need gerbera daisies, bright.

Because gerbera daisies stand upright.

And so I bought some
in a wonderful shade of Fuchsia.

I never knew that I could feel
desirable, beautiful, and strong
because I've always been told
the way that I look is all wrong.
I am a large woman,
so I must not be appealing,
I have been cruelly brainwashed
into shamefully concealing
my body and even my mind
all because I was assured
that love, I would never find.

Suddenly my world has opened
and slowly my confidence has grown
all because he came into my life
and called me his very own.
I am now certain of my beauty
though it is a tragedy that I could only see
after he entered my life
and declared that he truly wanted me.
I look back in utter disgust
that I didn't see it long before
a man showed me my worth
by gracing my bedroom door.

Sick of being told what's wrong and what's right
Tired of sleeping soundly every night
Bored of having to always keep up the fight
Frustrated with everything that is my life

I'm on a roll
Alienating everyone i know and need
Ive got a streak
Of something cold and quite mean
I'll be forgiven
But the sins won't be forgotten
I'll be cleansed
But always smell of something rotten

4 am,drunk
thinking about you
feeling these feelings for you

crying, wiping the tears off
don't know if you should know,
the love i have for you

                                                       dazed & confused
                                                       what should i do?
                                                       do i have to do this?
                                                       what will i do without you?
                                                      
                                                       lying down & almost sober
                                                       called you, the love i have
                                                       gave'em to you
                                                       but i wasn't enough

drunk in the morning
nothing on my mind
but your body,
you being with somebody
but not with me

out of all the girls,
they were my "more alcohols to come"
but you, you, you're different
you're my "more poems to come"
and that's me being drunk in the morning.