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 Dec 2014 Kelly Nolan
Devon Webb
I had to look up
the word
'dating'
on Urban Dictionary
because I didn't know
what we were,
what we are.

And it said things like
'a socially acceptable
form of prostitution' and
'feelings of
puppy love that usually
dissolve
in a few weeks'.

But this is
not
puppy love.
This is not going to
dissolve or
fizzle out or
whatever,
you're not a
fizzle
you're a *******
fireworks display.

And you turn
everything in my head
into this
multi-coloured
turbulence and
I can't keep up with
how much I
adore you.

But the thing is
I don't know
if your view
is as good as mine.
What if you're
looking at something
a little less
beautiful.

What if I'm your
fizzle.

What if I'm as
temporary
as the flame you use
to light the
cigarettes
you find more
addictive
than my touch.

If that's the case
I'd rather
I left you
craving.

Because
if I'm your flame
you're my
forest fire
and you're burning
it all down until
the only thing left
standing is
you.

And I'll walk for
miles across this
carpet of ashes
just to feel the
softness of your skin
against mine.

And I'll cough
and I'll splutter
on toxic smoke
but you'll just
breathe it in because
you never realised anything
was even
lost.

You don't see me
crawl
you just know that
I'm here,
I'm here
I made it
I'm yours
I'll always be yours
because there's
nothing else
left.

And maybe
I can be
content with that
if only
you will see
that
you could burn down
everything
and I still
wouldn't put you
out.
Hear it in your parents' words;
in their sugar-coated testimony of disappointment
and let it
writhe around your neck,
until the ground neath you
slips.

(For your own sake,
don't struggle.)
The first realization of my seventeenth year of life.
How do you expect me sleep
With you circling every thought.

Like the leaves of autumn,
You're everywhere I walk.

And stepping on these leaves of yours
Produces my favorite sound.

Tonight that sound is too loud to sleep through.
And I decided to stop running and searching for where you might be
I catch my breath instead and hold on to my knees

Finally I see you from a distance
but when I try to run again
I lose my balance

There I was on the ground
making the loudest sound
Screaming your name with the volume to the extreme
hoping you would turn around
help me to wake up from this dream

I scream so loud
my throat became raw
my lungs grasp molecules of oxygen at rapid speed

Then I embraced the silence
because as I saw you walk away from me
I realized that even the loudest of my screams
did not even register
as a mere whisper

Try hard as I might to bellow
You can only give me your shadow
 Dec 2014 Kelly Nolan
JR Potts
you were the reason I didn't **** myself

this doesn't mean you have to love me

what it means is, I will always love you
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