I'm not lonely because I am alone,
I'm lonely because I have these feelings that I can't share. I can't trust anybody enough to let them into my head. I'm lonely because I hurt alone. Because I suffer alone.
I'm lonely because I hide when I cry. Because I grew up learning how pain is such a weakness. How nobody wants to see it. How nobody cares enough to help.
I'm lonely because I searched for love for so long and only found hate. I wanted love but found emptiness. I wanted to feel loved but only felt used.
I'm lonely because I was raised alone. And now they want to love me, but I'm left with loneliness that lingers.

"Call me when you feel better"

I'll never feel well enough to call you again.

Well now that's done: and I'm glad it's over.*

Concrete instances of emptiness.
Blinds not drawn. Flowers do not arrive.
Bed made tight; no stilettos. Never sticky.
Doves alone coo. Pet names only for pets.
No need to shave. Last night's wine. One glass.
Coffee becomes ******. Condo not condoms.
Hands and knees only to fix sink. No position.
No lipstick stains the staff. Lingerie a catalog.
Flag always at half mast. Sleep soft, not deep.
A **** is a chicken; a ***** is a cat.
Fingers seeking ****** find nothing.
Blowing your nose becomes PDA.
Ghostly hands caress vanished thighs.
All embraces are distant. Hugging your sister.
Mysteries of faded flesh; sound after sigh
Not a trace of perfume or personality.
The orgasmically charged what isn't.
What is missing prevails. What was is missing.

  ~mce