Your names on my birth certificate.
Your DNA runs through my blood.
I have your eyes.
But those are just small physical things.
They say sometimes your dad isn't just the one who helped to give you life,
but the one who actually stands by you.
Cares about you...
and proves it.
At times, you've been more of a dad to me than my real dad ever was.
Ever is.
He gets so disappointed in everything I do.
Grades. Sports. Life.
He yells over everything I bring home from school,
so I dont bring anything home anymore.
If I need something signed for class, I come to you instead.
You never scream. Never yell.
Instead, you just encourage me to do better.
You help me to understand more.
He gets frustrated that I play so much.
But I love it, and I dont know if he gets that.
Instead of being encouraging and supporting, he gets mad over it all.
Another late practice. Another tournament.
Well guess what?
Winners arn't made by sitting on the couch.
Im glad you understand that.
You're always so encouraging and helpful to me.
Picking me up for class.
Staying after your girls are done to give me a ride when Im done.
Simply telling me I had a good game.
Sometimes thats more than he ever does.
Sometimes he doesnt even come.
Sometimes, he doesnt support me in anything.
Even when he knew I was at my lowest point, he kicked me while I was down.
But you didnt. You dont.
You found out what I was doing to myself, and you never once judged me.
You're always there to crack jokes and make me smile.
You're always there for me.
Whether I text you in the middle of the day or the middle of the night.
Thank you.
For all that you've done. All that you do.
I couldn't ask for a better coach than you.

My lover asks me:
"What is the difference between me and the sky?"
The difference, my love,
Is that when you laugh,
I forget about the sky.

Remember,

people care about you

they think about you far more than you think they do

they see something that reminds them of you on the street or in a store and they smile because you are a great person and they love that they know you

knowing you makes them happy

knowing you might make them sad too, because sometimes people want more from you than you’re willing to give, but you shouldn’t dwell on making them upset because you are still great and you still bring more happiness to them on most days

sometimes people get sad and that’s not your fault

it is not your job to make a person feel better, and changing who you are just to make them feel better is just a false sense of loyalty that you’re showing them; and anyway, it is far more rewarding to nurture other people by being true to who you are because it is simultaneously nurturing yourself.

when you are sick, get as much affection as you possibly can and do not feel bad about it

tell someone you love them because you just do, not because you feel guilty, obligated or crave their approval

it’s not the end of the world if people don’t need you and it’s probably not the healthiest thing if they are constantly depending on you to clean their messy lives up all the time

you will never regret putting “go to the library” on your to-do list, even if you are swamped and stressed with other things to do; there is nothing quite like being among a whole world of books

don’t be embarrassed about your laugh or blowing your nose in public or even turning bright red when you do get embarrassed because there is nothing wrong with any of these things

you can be sincere or you can be manipulative, but remember that you know how it feels to be manipulated too

people ******* over all the time, but that just makes them people and you are just the same as these people because you do it too, so lighten up and see it’s not a big deal, but don’t let them walk all over you time and time again because that is just disrespectful to yourself

learn when to stay and when to walk away

you are awesome

thank you.

you know me so well
and you know that my past
has been filled with a lot of mistakes

like an open umbrella sitting outside in the rainstorm,
the only thing weighing me down is the rain i've caught
without these mistakes, i'd simply blow away in the cold wind.

you know me inside and out.
we spent countless moments in each other's arms
in your warm comfort and wise words.

you made me feel amazing.


you
are
the one
person

who could truly change me.


you knew who i was.
you knew who i wanted to be

and without knowing,
you helped me become that person.


you helped me understand who i am.
i'm the girl that plays ukulele
and writes poetry
and does amazing things for women.


i don't know how my life would like if you had never walked into it
i have an idea, yes.
but i don't care to describe it here
for fear
it would upset you.


i will never be the same.
i will never ever go back to
who i was

before i met you.


and for that,

i could thank you
a million times
with cheek kisses and a lifetime of happiness

but it would never be enough.

so thank you.
**thank you for being a part of my life.

My angel...
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Or how the future may unfold
But when the eulogy is told
I want them to say I lived
Don't shed somber tears
Reflect throughout the years
The laughter and love we had together
And how thru thick and thin
I held your hand until the end
Through any storm with u I weathered
It breaks my heart to leave you here
I cant look back for it causes me pain
I'd take my heart out
Give it to you without a doubt
If I thought that would keep u sane
But ill move on and so will u
You'll have joy laughter and love
And when u sleep tonight
Dreaming your sweet dreams
Just know with all my might
I'm smiling down on you from above

I can't help but feel
That this isn't how life was supposed to be
I was not intended to be born
Wanting nothing more than to perish
And escape from all the suffering
That has plagued me for all of my days
And has kept me trapped inside
A broken heart, an empty mind

Death would be a release
From the day to day struggles
That weigh me down
Battering my willpower
Eroding any and all chances I have
To be happy, and normal
Instead of forcing smiles
With dead eyes

One shot should do the trick
Or a noose, nice and thick
So as to hold up the bulk of my sorrows
That have been on my shoulders for years
Better yet a handful of pills
And a dignified departure
From a miserable life
Into a blissful end

Cut from my womb
no signs of life
no first breath
no first cry
no first cuddle
I did not get to count your fingers or toes
nor did I get to look into your eyes
you were taken and I was left alone
wondering and fearful

Our first meeting through a plastic box
wires, tubes, laboured breathing
so frail and broken
tears and hopes as I held your tiny hand
afraid as tears wet my face

So tiny for such a brave warrior
fighting against the odds
as we stayed by your side
marvelling at your strength
and the devotion of those that cared

The first time I held you
gingerly fearing tangled wires
I finally felt that you belonged to me
my little man

Our first night alone
much overdue
rush of love
as you snuggle in
and suckle like a pro
Soon I could take you home
and you would truly belong to us

Now time has passed
you grew and found your feet
my naughty little adventurer
who is far to busy to sleep
full of life as if making up for lost time