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They say the scars of heartbreak make the heart grow stronger
So what of the lonely heart is what I always wonder
Does it shrivel away or become rotten or hollow
What of being alone with no love to follow
Everyone talks of love and hurt but what of emptiness
I would love to even hurt because at least it's experience
No one talks of being alone because there is only me
Sometimes I feel I am the only one ever truely lonely
 Dec 2012 Kaylin Martin
Molly
You don't make me happy. You are my happiness. The difference between the two is simple, but important: You see, if you only made me happy, just the thought of you would be enough. A picture of you would suffice to keep me content. But it isn't. You are my happiness, embodied. So when you're away, my happiness is gone as well. Thoughts are not enough. I don't feel complete when I'm not with you. I need you. All of you. I can only hope that you need me, too.  
I always thought of love like puzzle pieces. I know that metaphor's been done a hundred times over, but this is a little more specific. You see, everyone is built in a certain way. We are all pieces. Some people are whole pieces unto themselves - an entire picture, clear and beautiful. They don't need another puzzle piece. They're complete as they are, which is fine. Most people, however, are parts of a whole. They need other pieces to help them make sense, to see the whole picture. Some people have a lot of spaces and gaps, and it takes a lot of other puzzle pieces working together to keep them happy and to make them feel whole. Most people are halves. They are half of a picture, searching for the other half of themselves. However, these are puzzle pieces, meaning not every piece will fit with another. The pieces have to be the right size, the right shape, the right color. Puzzle pieces are complex and dynamic. Each one is special. Even if a piece is shaped really weird or has odd edges and angles, it fits perfectly with another piece somewhere. They just have to find each other. No one is wrong, and no one is unlovable. They just have to find the piece that complements them.
Somewhere, there is another puzzle piece out there that will help you make sense of yourself and see the whole picture of who you are. I always liked to think of it like that. I like to think that someday, someone as unique as I am will help me create a beautiful picture, a whole picture of myself, that we can both understand and be happy with. And I will do the same for them. Just like a puzzle.
I know. It's not a poem. It's prose. I'm sorry. But the sentiment is true all the same. The idea makes me happy to think about, and I wanted to write it down.
In my dreams, I find you near.
I find you close to me.
Closer,
than you've ever been.

In my dreams, you never leave.
You stay here with me.
Stay,
till the sun shines bright.

In my dreams, we own the night.
We shine in this darkness.
Shine,
for me you're my light.

In my dreams,
There's no one but you & me.
can i destroy myself in you
 Dec 2012 Kaylin Martin
Damaged
I didn't dress up this year for Halloween.
I just didn't feel like it.
But honestly, I didn't need to.
Im dressed up everyday, as a ghost.
Because ghosts are invisible right?
They walk the hall, classrooms, and even their own homes and no one notices them...or believes in them.
Most of those that do believe in them though are frightened.
Especially after they truly see them.
So I guess Im good at being a ghost, it sure makes halloween a lot easier.
But every other day a living nightmare.
 Dec 2012 Kaylin Martin
Damaged
You used to make me so excited
Like a little ******* Christmas morning
Smiling. Giddy. Giggling.
The days I knew I'd see you, I would wake up hours earlier so I had more time to get ready.
I had to look good for you.
Hair. Makeup. Clothes.
Everything had to be perfect
because you were perfect.
We were perfect
I'd stay up way past my bedtime thinking about you.
Replaying everything in my head.
Wondering if you were thinking of me.
I would think about your cute dimples, the way you laughed.
The way we could talk for hours about nothing...and everything.
You were perfect for me.
We were perfect
We did stupid things together.
I remember it all.
The snow, the whipped cream, the chotoes, the park.
Cuddling on the boat. Gazing at stars.
Perfect memories I'll never forget.
We were perfect
Then came the goodbye along with all the tears.
You said it was only temporary though.
You said you'd be back for me.
Then the letters started coming along with the phone calls.
I started becoming more okay with the distance, knowing it'd be over soon.
"I love you, I miss you, I cant wait until I come home"
You said all of this, but then left me.
Not even giving me answers, and all I want to know is why?
Because I thought...
*We were perfect
my eyes
ask you silently.

i dont want the answer
the way i want you
but i can't
help myself.

can't help but
imagine that
this is the last time
you
will grace
me.

i can't remember
a life
without you and the
heady suffocation
of your
gut-curling, heart-pounding
presence.
you've clean-slated me
the way
broken glass can
purge human vision,

your intoxicating soul wrapping me up
in its heated hollowness,

in that warmth
which keeps me up at night
and makes me
wish i could
drown
in the heavy circle
of your body.

and i can't imagine why
i fear
your vanishing
when more often than not

you,
your soul,
and your broken glass

are
the stuff of my
haunting dreams.
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