Dear Lover,
                  I knew the moment I felt everything. My friend was telling me of her moment, and I was taken back to my moment. My moment where everything  was clear and I felt everything. It was when the orange glow warmed my skin and you showed yourself to me. You showed me when you laid on top of me and hugged me with your lips. I felt it when you showed me your thoughts and I read through them all like a thick novel printed in watermarked tears. I felt it when we saw everything through our haze of ***** and ****, but it was alright because I knew that I had today and it was beautiful.
                    I was excited for the night but you lived in your head and not in your heart. You resided in the dust, eternally wondering if the telephone lines were merely telephone lines or if your parents were trapping you into an infinite existence, making you turn to ash on your yellowed colored couch with the voices telling you to put the gun in your mouth. I felt it when you pulled from me like sweatshirt strings that are too long on one side and vanishing on the other. You pulled me away and cast me aside, under the unused springs for your bed and under the empty plastic bags where your coherent thoughts now lay.
                 I felt it when you taught me what the world was. I felt it as I traveled to you while the sun chased my shadows and the moon welcomed my embrace on the steps of your front door. I felt it. Because it's everything. I felt it when you finally left me, like I always said you would. Because I know you have succumbed to your voices and they have won. I know that you are living, eternally still. A dweller in the dust. And I won't say I miss you because it's everything. I know I will never find you now, because you have disappeared when I have so much to say, but you can't hear me with all the silence rushing in your ears.
Silence that is too loud.
                   It smells like death and sounds like relief because I am free from a silence I never knew was there. I have loved you and have hated you. I have lost you and found you. And now I wish to lose you again, because I am tired. I am tired of feeling everything, and I am tired of everything being clear. I want to be blind again. I want to smoke without wondering if I'll see your reflection in the smoke. I want to drink without wondering if I'll hear your voice residing under my ear. I want to write without wondering if you'll ever read it and feel the same way. I'm tired of wondering. So tired.

Remember even though I didn't give you my password, I still let you consume and destroy me.

A monster and his beauty with her body in a bed of thorns.

boomersooner

                                                 ­         Me

Arms heavy
He cannot move
Lips sewn into the fabric of his skin
Molded straw stab his golden hands
Incantations bleed through his eyes
So the crows flee

Moonlight strips him of his shadows
Hungry wings flap far from his reach
Legs broken
He cannot leap
His ears cannot hear
So his screams are silent

Little souls giggle at his feet
Poking him with frost bitten fingers
Neck broken
He cannot look
So he is stuck imagining rosy cheeks
Imagining sparkly eyes and plump feet

He is a slave to his masters
Eternally still
He is sewn together with orange leaves and chilly nights
Wishing to move

a snake slithers to the tree in question
he becomes a man
tempting the woman covered in poison ivy
touching diseased lips to the inside of his fruits
they die together as their children are beaten

***** yellow teeth smile at the cries
a young girl crosses her legs in hopes of salvation
but she is a woman now
so she must leave herself open
like a lily in heat

repeated melodies sound from that old guitar
an artist stuck in the tip of his career
with a bottle of alcohol and a blunt in his hands
he drinks the whole bottle with malice
and drowns in his deceitful lungs

endless cigarettes flow through a filter
a girl loving the way he looks at her
with a smile and heater their only comfort
the cold breaks through the windows
so he leaves for somewhere warmer
and never returns

Babe, there's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

Babe, there's something lonesome about you
Something so wholesome about you
Get closer to me

No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony
No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Babe, there's something wretched about this
Something so precious about this
Where to begin

Babe, there's something broken about
But I might be open about this
Oh what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me
A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door

Hey you're more than pretty. You're gorgeous. You're eyes sparkle brighter than any star. Your smile beats the moon. Your hair is so much fun to play with. Remember not to starve, purge, cut, tear, stab, poke, burn, scratch. There's no need too. I don't need to see your face to know your beautiful. I don't care what the mirror says. You deserve to know the ugly truth. You will always be beautiful and there's nothing you can say or do to change that.

today my fortune said
"romance and travel go together now"
i think i believe it