I want to feel the excitement
Of a new day coming

I want to step outside my comfort zone
And be who i know i can.
Who i know i am.
But here i go
Holding myself back
From growth.
I walk down the same path
Taking the same road
I know each and every turn
And i feel at ease
knowing the predictability.

i dont take a leap
its hard for me to believe that id land on my feet

I want out of these restraints
That my mind has placed..
Its like a spell
That i can never be truly at peace
That i always want what's not good for me.
The truth is,
I don't know what will set me free.

I say,
Just be.
But i'm not even sure how to just
Sit
and be with me

And then, she woke up.
She decided,
This isnt what she wants.

She then calmly packed her things
Silently dwelled in leaving another home
Uh oh
Time to begin again
And said goodbye to the stagnance,
And with each step forward she gained a little bit of  valiance?
strength,
Confidence
In each step.
She remembers who she is.
Pain is there,
Tears at the waterfront,

But still,
Shes empowered in stepping back into her power.
On to the path of self discovery,
Self love,
And connection.

Strength is never easy.
She drives her tiny car jampacked in silence,
And silently starts to cry
The whimpers turn to gasps
No one there to stop them

Bawling so hard she cant see the road,
She doesn't know where shes going,
She doesn't know where home is,
But still,
She continues.
To go.

She has to do it for herself,
If she doesn't, no one will.

Dont judge yourself for getting lost in the tides
We all get lost in the waves
But there was too many crashes
For how short the waves were.
Doesnt matter about fair.

And today,
I realized what is, is.
And it isnt what i want.
With that, i say thankyou
But the new me is ready to sprout.
No time to shout
This ***** is out

Dont worry too much about right now,
And the future.
You will make the decision you were meant to make with the precision

Each step,
For yourself
Filled with love
Strength
And pride.

Her feet dragged,
Her hair messy, puffy eyes,
Unsure of what is next
But still,
She walks.

She continues,
No matter what.

For herself,

And that my dear, is love.

The love you deserve.

Nobody can leave for you,
Nobody knows truly how you feel,
Except you.

Love yourself like you want to be loved.

It isnt easy,
But neither is life.

You are love.
In your pain,
In your joy,
In your madness.

Is when your most beautiful.
Show up for anyone?
Show up for you

Show you what love really is.

The rest can undo.
Make your dreams come true.

Find your center
Find your inner
I think im about to end uh

He thinks this is a game
But tells me im his fate
Like nah
I am not the one to be played
Your stories sound like lies
i should have trusted my gut
This time

Go on
Ill hear your plea
How im the woman you need
But your actions dont align
And you do this every time
The sad part is
Im dissapointed in me

For trusting.
For thinking youd be on your feet
Thinking youd keep it steady
Thinking you could be the one for me.
Thought you were the one who loved me.

Do you feel it
Its the feeling
That you get
When there's nothing left

No distractions
No messages to check
No cigarettes
Real self is glaring back

Hi hey its me
Do you like what you see
If not change direction
Find what you need
The path can get rocky and dark
But every breath
Can be a fresh start
To begin again
Ego deleting
Humans, misleading,
Is there a way out of
Escaping
Waiting
Playing
Im Breaking
The soul is aching
Knowing i cant keep replacing

Delaying
ancestral healing
Generation after generation
Running from the University of
feeling.
But dna remembers
The embers
burned from those cold
Novembers


Flown away
from ash to dust
What's done is done
But do everything with love,
And dont forget the ones up abovee
As we are one

Blessed be the
Music makers
The creators
The soul achers
Shedding their layers,

bleed in
Bleed out
Returning the energy to origin
No doubt
Breathe in
Breathe out
No time to scream and shout

The Stagnant air can get left there,
On the page that i wrote,
Bc of the way that you spoke.
Its not the first bad note,
Here comes another ****.

the ones that can let go of their pain
The ones that can cry out their rain
Transmuting,
Not always soothing
It stings, its saddening
But beautifully shedding
From All that's been
embedded
And kept in my head

Bleed it out
Work it out

Soul healing
Will set you free from the shackles
Of your lineages chain.
Cycles
Will not repeat again.
The wise one,
Puts the stop here.
If not you,
Then who?
If not now,
When?
Waiting isnt wise,
Youll get left behind

A step essential to take,
To not have trauma stored in the skin
Embedded in the dna
Let go of the heartbreak
The envy, and the i wish it could bes.
Break the cycle of holding
You must heal all thats been shoved down
And replaced with a drug you found.

Choose you
Choose now
Write it
Yell it
Paint it
Feel it
And let it go.

Step into the clear air
You did it
You repaired

Breathe in the fresh air
Remember how you got here
---------- -- ---- -- ---- -- --- -- --

You give me a bad feeling.
An Image of you runs through my brain
When your away,
Your face locked in my head
I can’t escape
Barely holding through the grey.

Moments fade to snapshots
Finger tips, kisses
To finger prints
And smudged lipstick
Days  spent in your car,
To now not knowing where the f** You are.
NIghts making you meals,
Laughing at reels
Making deals
Now, Phone calls and texts
Now even fade.
turned to now nothing,
Not even hey?
Im supposed to be your girl
Not feel alone in this world


Is it Just a game of who has the upper hand,
That ritual wont last
A dumb game to play,
When your grown and have already marked the pace,I know what i want,
No need to back and forth
Catch and chase
Days of waste.
Grey even fades.

A ghost, my home
Where’d you go?
That’s what makes me look for your crown.
It must be crooked, lost, somewhere,
It must be found.
I know i can turn this around, i say.
But really,
I pray.

The unknown,
The prowler at night
He seeks
He seethes
He bleeds for what he needs

My lion, my prince,
But The leo leads your days
The teeth are near
camouflage gear
claws are here  

You fade away,
Into the night,
turned days..
His hunger
He basks
He prowls
He escapes.

She dreams
She listens
She escapes
Starry nights
Headphones
And reminisce.
Long silences
Deep breaths
Hums from my heart
Into the earth
Without speaking a word.

Hoping you feel me
With your feet
If I vibrate loud enough,
I know youll feel it.
Through the smoke
I hope, It doesnt fleet.
Where is he?
Thoughts start to create,
Could he,
Would he,
Not her..

My heart
Slam beat
My mind,
Tries to delete.
When your are away,
And the image of you
Loops in my brain.
Like a broken record
On display
The once symphony
Now is only a screech.

A feeling i can’t describe.
Want to run and cry,
Hide,
sometimes die
Jump out of this window and maybe fly.

Maybe for a day..
I can disspear into the thin air.
But tomorrow,
It might all be great

My fate,
I can’t escape
Can’t mold it
like clay


K.c 9/5/2023

What my life looked like a year ago

Is nothing like it looks like now.

What my life looks like a year from today,

I hope it is nothing like it looks like now.

Rolling with the tides,

I'm having fun on this ride.

Suddenly I woke up

I realize in my laughter and whim,

I've swam too far.



Out in the dark waters,

Lost, Alone,

Where did my friends go?

I Want to get back to shore, my home.
.
hope to find my way back

but I can not see where home is.

Only seems a blurry vision now,

I'm not sure it exists anymore.

Can I get home? or is home now only a figment of my imagination.

Only a foggy image of home that I can hear like an echo calling my name.

The ocean

Swallows you

Drowns you

Encapsulates you whole..

And your wishing you never

Dipped your foot in the water.

You must swim,
Fight,
For your life to get out of the depths of the sea thats drowning you.

Every muscle,
Every bone,
Every cell,
Fighting for you.

This is no different,
Only you are only drowning on the inside dear
You must fight for your life.
But your mind must be aligned.

.

Happiness,
Happy mess
Is it Something we chase
Maybe there’s something more real
That we must face.

Why is it
When We feel sadness
We feel pain
We feel alone,
Like no one knows.

We count our thorns
While the world sees us a rose.

Unfold.

I push,
Then I pull
Directionless, getting ahead of ya
But there's a path for us all,
Devil in one hand angel in my soul
Stereotypical
I can see myself falling
But i keep going
As if I dont know betta,
Ohp im going under.

Another line,
Another smoke,
Itll numb ya up.
Oh baby, We’re just having fun.
You’re just catching up.
Too late. Now you're in.
Devil welcomes you at the door,
Now you'll be thinking about me,
And ill bring you to your knees.
How do you get more,
I’m the one you adore.

**** your relationships,
Ya need me, you see.
Life would be too plain,
And I’m the one to save you from your pain.

Addiction is not your friend
Your only a slave to
your ****** head.
So run while you can
Before your stuck
the realms of darkness
Emptiness
Expressionless

I look inside,
heart full of gold
A soul that wants to go home.
A body that wants to be loved,
By me.
But,
I tend to want the one that doesn’t want me.
Stupid psychology.
Thanks mom, thanks dad,
Is this what love is supposed to be?

Gotta retrain my brain
Into knowing what's actually good for me
It isn’t that easy
raised in a house full of
Neglect, dysfunction and misery.
You think that’s love.
But I can hear from the depths inside of me,
Love doesn’t do this,
Love sets you free.
[of entropy consuming which breathes]

Broken doors, broken glass.
I guess it aint that bad.
[Hes only just half mad
When full glass been gotten gone]


Could've been me.
[Peace enough to let the frame free]


k.c