She spent her whole life exploring
At age 3 it was dirt.
At age 5 it was bugs.
At age 10 it was animals.
At age 12 it was the world.
And at 14 it was boys.
She spent her whole life learning.
She was a genius.
But she never understood him.
Her hand never fit in his.
He "loved" her
But he never really cared.
She was never held tight enough.
Always kept her needing a bit more.
He left her.
Yet she still loved him.
She spent her whole life changing.
For everyone other than herself.
When he left she realized
She wasn't who SHE wanted to be
So she made herself even more beautiful
And then she met someone new
Someone even more beautiful than she
One who's body fit hers perfectly
One who held her just so
One who truly did care
On who loved her
And this one?
Well he never left
He stayed by her side till the end

You take away the pain.
You took all my broken pieces and put them back together.
You fixed me.
You make me happy.
You give me reason:
To live
To learn
To love myself
To care
You're my glue
You hold me together

You hold me tighter than I've ever been held before.
Your finger tips emit electric waves over my bare skin.
The skin on my jawline buzzes with your hand's warmth.
Electric shocks sent straight to my heart.
Your lips touch mine
My whole body's buzzing with that same electric current.
I'm helplessly weak in your strong arms.
My body has began to melt.
In the warmth
Of your electric love.

He knows about my past,
yet still wants to be my future.
He's seen my crazy side,
yet still treats me like a princess.
He knows my random intolerances,
yet still calls me sweetie.
He's seen me without makeup,
yet still says I'm beautiful.
He knows my insecurities,
yet claims that I'm the "best".
He could have any other girl,
yet still chooses me.
Because unlike me he sees my imperfections perfectly.

For 9 months,
You broke my heart.
The cut was so deep,
I swear to god I could actually feel it.
You put me through agony.
I couldn't breathe.
I constantly felt like puking.
I stopped eat.
Nothing was worth it anymore.
You had left.
And I had taken to crying myself to sleep.
Until today.
I texted you with tears burning in my eyes.
I needed to know why.
And you told me.
After 9 months,
I have my life back.
Thank you,
For giving me peace of mind.
And finally,
Setting me free of you.

i sit here in the hospital.
watching you.
watching death take over you.
it feels as though there's a hand grabbing my heart
squeezing it and tearing it apart thread by thread
every ounce of me drained out
watching someone who's not ready to be dead
*dying

I pretend like I'm ok.
I tell people that my pain has made me strong.
In a way it has.
I  pretend that I don't care.
I pretend like it doesn't bother me when someone hates me.
I pretend like I don't care when people call me ugly.
I pretend like I'm so strong that no matter what happens I wont crack.
I pretend like I'm invincible.
But behind my fake smile, my fake laugh, my fake attitude...
It still hurts.
at the end of the day my knees still tremble when I'm scared,
my eyes still tear up at the thought of him
my heart still hurts when I don't feel loved
and my head still spins when something goes wrong.
I put up a brave front for everyone around me including myself
but just like you,
I'm cracked too