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Katrina Jun 2014
I thought I had it all again.
I thought I removed the pain.
I found a new guy.
One who treats me right.
I got a new best friend.
I cut you out.
I cut out my old best friend too.
Then my friends leave my side
And I look at myself in the mirror
And realize.
What I thought I had, it's all fake.
I don't love him.
I love you.
I don't have friends.
I'm too much of a *****.
I thought I cut out the pain but it grew back stronger.
Like it always does.
I thought I figured it out but things don't change,
They never do.
Now I'm stuck here
Without even you.
Katrina Jun 2014
His hand in mine,
We lay on the soft green grass,
Watching the clouds,
In the shade of a big oak tree.
He looks at me like I put the clouds we're watching into the sky.
He calls me beautiful like it's my name.
He doesn't understand what this does to me.
I melt in his arms.
He melts too.
We melt together into one.
It feel as though it was meant to be.
Not him and I.
Not me and him.
Us.
Melted into each other.
Watching the clouds.
Hands intertwined.
Like it's meant to be.
Katrina Jun 2014
I say goodbye
And tears fill my eyes

I mean it this time
You have to pay for your crime

You broke me
There's no more "we"

I can't turn around now
I don't know how

I held on for so long
But now it's all wrong

You have to leave me be
So the demons can set me free
Katrina Jun 2014
My horrible daydream
That's what you were
You were mystical and magical
You gave me thrills
You distracted me from the bad
You gave me something to believe
But then you let it all crash down
I saw the truth
You caused me pain
Pain so horrible
I can't explain
I cry and cry
To let the poison out
But it won't leave me
I want to shout
You can't hear my screams
I bury the sounds deep inside
Where the hopes of my future lay down to die
Katrina Jun 2014
Him
Deep in the night when I think I'm finally happy.
He's there reminding me that I'll never find true happiness without him.
In the early mornings when I feel almost alive inside.
He's there reminding me I will never fully live without him by my side.
When I walk down an empty road trying to find my way home.
He's there to remind me I will never be alone with the memory of him living inside me.
His beautiful smile.
His eyes that shine bright when the meet with mine.
His playful humor that always made me feel warm inside.
The strength of his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
It's all gone.
But his memory lives on.
Katrina Jun 2014
I’ve learned that nobody will believe in you until you believe in yourself first.
I’ve learned that you won’t always understand everything,
but that doesn’t mean you should give less effort.
I’ve learned that true beauty isn’t defined by a size 0 waist or pretty eyes,
the purity of your heart is the only thing that shows your true beauty.
I’ve  learned that nobody has the power to control you.
You are in charge of weather you're holding yourself back or pushing yourself forward.

I’ve learned that you only get back what you put out,
if you treat others horribly you’ll be treated the same way in return.
I’ve learned that true friends are there for you when things go wrong with a shoulder to cry on.
I’ve learned that some of the best moments in life can’t be explained with words alone.
I’ve learned that good things do NOT come to those who wait,
but to those who work hard to make the good things for themselves.

I’ve learned that anyone can say they love you,
but only a few actually mean it.
I’ve learned that you waste your time regretting your past,
it’s better to learn from it.
I’ve learned that sometimes the people you look up to the most let you down the most.
I’ve learned to look at people as works of art,
beautifully unique and incomprehensibly delicate.

I’ve learned that taking chances lead to the best memories.
I’ve learned that pain is temporary,
until you let it live inside you.
I’ve learned to laugh at myself when I mess up.
I’ve learned to never take anything you have for granted,
because when you do it always slips through your fingers before you can appreciate it.

I’ve learned to love myself even when it feels like nobody else does.
I’ve learned that words are beautiful when used correctly,
but can also break people if you don’t use them right.
I’ve learned that when there’s no one else in your life you can always count on family.
But most of all I’ve learned that life is a magnificent balancing act of our experiences and our perspective that make us who we are.
Katrina Jun 2014
I remember the pain.
I remember crying my self to sleep every night for months.
I remember not being able to breathe when I thought of you.
I remember comparing everything to you.
I remember pretending I was happy.
I remember realizing nothing would ever be the same.
I remember remembering our love.
I remember figuring out I would never stop loving you.
And I still haven't.
You have the greatest power over me.
I would do anything for you.
Always have.
Always will.
You wouldn't do the same for me.
Never have.
Never will.
But I still love you
Because I remember
Who you are.
Who you were.
I remember the look on you face after our first kiss.
I remember the beating of your heart when I laid my head against your chest.
I remember the warmth of your body against mine in the cold autumn air.
I remember the taste of your lips.
I remember the sparkle of your eyes.
Most of all I remember what it felt like to love you and have you truly love me back.

— The End —