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karuna Apr 2014
"Forgotten" feelings come back to me as little pinpricks of memory
like flowers in march

I am the ground still cool and hardened,
but beginning to soften with the oncoming warmth of spring

Blooming sprouts of jealously bud in me as the days get warmer and my heart gets softer,
closer to the day we first kissed

But the small buds of beautiful of green soon die down with another rush of cold winter winds,
reminding me that i am not supposed to feel that way anymore anymore

For now these pangs of heartache are crystallized by the early springtime snows
And the icy sighs of winter shelter the shrunken seeds that have harboured in my heart

But they are waiting,
waiting to grow into long awaited flowers,
ready to suffocate me with their beauty.
yay been absent for awhile, not a lot of ****** feelings to write about. but they are again
karuna Mar 2014
Take life by the arms and dance,
do not stand back, you can take a chance.

Run and jump
and leap
and fall
and spin
and glide
and twirl
and all

Don't cower in fear of being alone,
if you hide in the shadows you'll never be known.

Smile and laugh,
and cry
and scream
and love
and hurt
and care
and dream

Step forward and live all the things that there are,
and you'll shine just as brightly as every bright star.
inspired by my ****** social anxiety and how ****** it makes me feel about my life. and how nobody should feel bad about their lives cause its a dumb way to waste your feelings.
karuna Feb 2014
Love and jealously are complicated,
sometimes they're the same.
remembering you
karuna Dec 2013
i walk outside onto my quiet street
and it is as if the entire city is covered by a soft heavy blanket of snow
that has lulled everything underneath it into a deep unstring sleep.
The air is crisp and cold
i can see the pale silhouette of my breath into the harsh of winter.
I continue walking and i notice the warm glowing embers of the scattered streetlights
and the snow sparkling under their light,
like a thousand tiny stars.
I get the end of the street
and i can here the rumbling engines of the cars across the river
that have escaped the anesthesia the snow has put the city under.
I can also see more of the same street lamps that are scattered on my street,
but there are many more of them and they look more packed together
as if they are hundreds of burning embers ready to burst into flames at any second.
I begin to notice more cars across the river and i hear the sound of a siren in the distance,
it seems like the city may not be sleeping after all.
I am beginning to get cold
so i start to walk home.
away from the river,
the noise,
the cars,
and the livelihood that lies across it.
I walk back down my quiet street
to my quiet house were warmth awaits me inside.
karuna Dec 2013
Today i decided the past can't haunt me forever.

So i looked at the notes and scribbled words,
that represented who i was,
a bit more than a year ago.
And i wished to wash them away away,
in the wistful waves of an of forgetting.

But i recently learned,
that forgetting will do me no good.
Because the things that are forgotten continue to crawl there way back,
and try to tear through the holes in those paper thin walls,
that you build just to block them all out.

So instead of forgetting,
I tore up the fragments of old thoughts,
that i had once scribbled out so carelessly.
And burnt the cold stony documents,
that they said depicted a better future for me.

as I looked at the tiny shards of paper,
covered in crumpled up words.
and watched the hot hungry flames,
eat up the cries of the past.
I saw the once so meaningful sentences,
fall apart into meaningless words.
and I watched the things that I filled with so much contempt,
crumble to ashes and dust.

I felt that chapter of my book has been finished.
The last open door has been closed.

I know that the past will come back to me,
time after time, after time.
But I think there are already enough ghosts in the world,
that I can let go
and no longer be haunted  by mine.
karuna Nov 2013
it was all going to be better wasn't it?
new year
new brain
you sculpted it just right

it was all going to be better wasn't it?
clean scars
beating heart
your work was good
it even held for a while

it was all going to be better wasn't it?
flowers in my hair
now the beginning
not end
it was perfect
as perfect as you could possibly make it

but the people soon came along, my people (i think)
they melted me, with the heat of their burning bodies
and the fires that we burned into the lungs to make us feel alive

and then they left me alone, out in the cold
with only the piercing words of these icy snowflakes, to keep my body warm
this perfect sculpture you made of me is now all cracked and deformed

they really though i'd be fine (i hope)
but i was faulty from the start

now i am here for the harsh winds of winter
to whisper horrible things into my broken eardrums

and i'm afraid what i am made of will slowly be blown back to you
so that you can make a brand new sculpture out of these shattered pieces of clay
i wright more when things get bad
karuna Oct 2013
i'm afraid they're coming back
the monsters i've been running from

but this time instead of just trying to eat me alive
i'm afraid they really will
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