He doesn’t write poems but you hope he loves you like you love poems one you hope he see you like a symphony, like a sculpture, like paint or clay, like something he can get his hands on. you hope hes painting you in colors that dont even exist just so he can give them a name. you hope he see you like every sunset he has ever missed. you dont understand the way he thinks but you hope he thinks of you often.. i hope you think of me as art something not  known in your mind but something so grand in mine , your  mind consumed of hip hop mine consumed of ideological things , It's easy to like how his voice is unique in the most uncomfortable way possible or how everything is uncomfortable to me his kiss was of gold Staining my neck with the mark  of innocence lost , of course lost far before he was in the picture , forever is a big word and love is a long time Lets write ourselves a poem I lose myself in words  , often more often then anyone wants I don't understand the word ‘love’ because when I was 13 years old I was forced to believe in it as people you learn to trust ******* in the most literal sense but in you I see colors ive never seen before something that makes me happy yet so ******* sad to know I have emotions left when ive tried and tried to just not feel anymore  everyone always talks about people leaving, but it seems like I'm the one who leaves with an inability to handle disappointment but with you I see something far more different

boy, I keep falling for you.
first it was the words you spoke
you could make saying
"I hate you"
seem so beautiful to me

next it was the way you would say
"I love you"
I love that you're not original
you say I heart you
it's so beautiful

now it's the way you make me feel
and every conversation
is just so real
and I love you.
or as you would say
I heart you bb boo

Day 1: No, you're not gone. You're just busy. You're still mine.
Day 2: Why did you leave. I can't breathe. How could you do that?
Day 3: I'm okay.
Day 4: *******. I hate you. I hope I never speak to you or see you again.
Day 5: I love you.
Day 6: Please come back.
Day 7:  You're the biggest *******. You never deserved me.
Day 8: I miss you.
Day 9:  God, you hurt me so badly. Why do I still want you?
Day 10: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Day 11: You promised me forever.
Day 12: I don't need you.
Day 13: I feel empty.
Day 14: I'm fine.


                              B.S.

I'm so sorry that I keep pushing you away.
My chest tightens at the thought of being in love.
I've been hurt so many **** times that it physically makes me sick to think about falling for someone again.
God, you mean so much to me, but I have no idea how to show it.
I'm scared.
Terrified for that matter.
I don't want to get hurt, but I don't want to lose you.
You make me happy, but I can't show you.
You make me feel again, but I won't tell you.
Because of you, I genuinely smile, but I won't let you see.
I just want to crawl under my covers and pretend I don't exist.
I don't want to fall for you.



                               B.S.

I don't remember how we started talking
I don't remember becoming friends
I don't remember when I started using
Stupid words that I would never use
I don't remember how it started
I don’t remember when that smile got me
I don't remember falling in love
I don’t remember
I remember talking about the boys you
Chased
I remember holding you as the same
Boys made you cry
I remember coming over just to ******* life
I remember doing anything to make you smile
I remember watching us break apart
I remember you finding him
I remember falling in a hole
I remember the pain seeing you with him
I remember wishing it was me
I remember

You don't love someone if you can leave them for days without warning.
You don't love someone if your happiness means more to you than theirs.
You don't love someone if you can lie straight to their face and not feel the slightest bit guilty.
You don't love someone if seeing them cry doesn't shred your heart to pieces.
You don't love someone if you get angry at them for being upset and they don't open up to you right away.
You don't love someone if you make them feel guilty for things that are out of their control.
You don't love someone if falling asleep to their voice isn't the most comforting thing to you.
You don't love someone if their laugh isn't your favorite sound.
You don't love someone if when you look into their eyes, you see a reflection of yourself.
You don't love someone if when you kiss them, your mind doesn't go completely fuzzy and you can still remember your name.
You don't love someone if being in their arms doesn't feel like home
You don't love someone if you allow your friends to talk badly about them and you agree.
You don't love someone if just hearing their name doesn't make you smile.
You don't love someone if making them happy isn't one of your top priorities.
You don't love someone if you can admit that they love you more.


    

                                    B.S.

You broke my ******* heart.

And you did it from the comfort of your own ******* garden.

While you had a *******  cigarette.

I was curled into the corner of a ******* bathroom, so no one could hear me cry.

I don't ******* cry.
But since then I can't ******* stop.

I can't ******* deal with this.

Why the **** did you do this to me?

I ******* hate you!

Please come back...