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Jude kyrie Feb 2016
16mm Celluloid

Echoes of you reverberate
In the silent house.
Minutes crawl like hours
since I lost you to forever.
Your beloved pipe and book
still sit by your chair.
I cannot move
the last remnants of you.
not yet
not just yet.
Our old wedding album
Is in front of me.
It was so long ago...so very long ago.
Yet the years ran by like a deer
I hold your old sweater to my breast
Reaching for you as I always did
breathing the familiar smell of you.
I thread the old wedding film
onto the aincient projector
It flickers and whirs
and by its magic lantern
you are resurrected
in your wedding tux.
I am standing next to you
Your young bride  in white.
You say I do.
I whisper softly
so many years later.
I do too honey.
4am
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
4am
4am
Tonight the light of a tender moon
Blooms like stardust in my bedroom.
I think of happy people not people like me.
They are lay under silk sheets
In a sleeping embrace.
Her softness comforts him
Even in his dreams he feels her.
The soft breathing of their sleeping children
makes the night even more tender.
In the waking morning
Their children will go to school
She will kiss her husband
With a have a good day honey.
And the world is all
as it should be.
The dream fades
It 4am
And I am lay here sleep less
In my bed.
Thinking about
a beautiful woman.
That I should have stopped loving
a very long time ago.
4am
Jude kyrie Jul 2016
4am
4am

Tonight the light of a tender moon
Blooms like stardust in my bedroom.

I think of happy people
not people like me.
They are lay under silk sheets
In a sleeping embrace.
Her softness comforts him
Even in his dreams he feels her.

The soft breathing
of their sleeping children
makes the night
even more tender.

In the waking morning
Their children will go to school.
She will kiss her husband
With a have a good day honey.
And the world is all
as it should be.

The dream fades
It 4am
And I am lay here
sleepless in my bed.

Thinking about
a beautiful woman.
That I should have
stopped loving
a very long time ago.
4am
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
4am
Its deep into
the sleepless night.
Your fragrance
is faint on my pillow.
It drifts into the room,
through the cracks
that you left in my life.
And touches
everything that
I once loved.
There is no
music or laughter
or poetry
or sprintime day
than can ever heal me.
So take them all away
for without you
nothing good
can ever
come from them.
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
It’s 4 am the blue man
Is playing his alto sax.
It wails like a broken heart.
Sleep is calling but
I don’t listen.
I know you can feel me
I know it.
My heart is singing love songs
For you
Only for you.
If I close my eyes
and feel the sax
I see you slide
into my bed.
Looking for the door
into my heart.
I always leave it open
even now.
Now and  again
an imposter comes
but  it  is not you.
Only some ghost
With a broken heart
Looking for a place to live.
The mellow notes haunt me.
I see your colors in the music.
They are the ones I need
to complete my painting.
Without them it will hang
In the gallery of my soul
Entitled
his last uncompleted work.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
Remember when we first met Ted.
You always made things right.
We used to always sleep together.
So I was not scared at night.

We used to travel everywhere.
I hid you so no-one ever knew.
You were always there for me Ted.
And I was there for you.

I told you all my trouble's, Ted.
You would listen all the day.
And when I got a tummy ache.
You took the pain the away.

Once I had the measles
I was six days in my bed.
You never ever left me, Ted
You slept right by my head.

When the thunderstorm scared me.
And the lightning’s flashing light.
You snuggled up and held me.
So safe all through the night.

The passing years they rolled along Ted.
And we got older too.
I was not frightened anymore Ted
Oh! what could I do with you?

Now my little sons in his room.
There is a bear next to his head.
With one eye missing
and it has a patch or two.
It is his favorite bear
It's You, Ted,
It is You
I COULD BEARLY WRITE THIS ONE.
JUDE
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
They sent Michael back to England.
His visa had expired.
I thought that was
Going to be the last I saw of him.
He was way too handsome for sloughy old me.
I had started to put weight on again.
My *** deciding it was not already big enough.
But my friend Annie said you look really good Kelly.
Your skin is clear and your glowing.

The morning sickness was a clue.
My doctor said three months in honey.
Your having a baby.
The later months were awful I got very sick.
It’s preeclampsia the doctor said.
I was bed rested for three months.
Still no word from Micheal.
I guess he had some English rose in the UK.
Then the attack I went into a coma.
It was three weeks later I awoke.
Someone was holding my hand.
It was Micheal.
I smiled weakly ..the baby I asked?
Fine Kelly they are both fine.
But you
I got a visa last week
But we have to married in two weeks
Or its back to old blighty.

He married me because
I was pregnant I am Sure.
Well double pregnant really
it was twins.
I never thought that he could love me
or that I could dare to love him.
It just felt the right thing to do.
But it changed when the twins arrived
I have never seen anyone as happy as him
well unless you count me in that is.
He was so good looking so gentle
What did he ever see in me?
I was always cheating and losing
on diets to keep myself a size fourteen.
My hair frizzy and wild.
But he made me feel beautiful.
How did he do that?
We went for a Sunday evening walk
It was fall in central park.
We walked the twins
in their double stroller.
The leaves had turned
red and amber
under the chilling winds
of late New York autumn.
The late fall sunlight
lit up the park in reds and golds
against the grey outlines of the old city.
A city that had seen many such love stories.
I see Michael holding the twins in his arms.
I could see the love he had for us all
in his beautiful eyes.
The same eyes that had
some major optical defect.
An aberration that
I had no understanding of.
Because he saw me as
beautiful and worthy of his love.
And in that single moment
There in central park on a red carpet
of rustling autumn leaves.
I felt him walk in into my heart
through a door I had always
left unlocked for only him.
As he entered inside me
to a place on this earth
that was destined for him alone.
I closed the door quietly behind him.
Locking it with the only key that existed.
Then throwing it into the urban woodlands
never to be found again.
ongoing project but I like
Kelly she's grounded
and Micheal reminds me of me except he's better looking lol Jude
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
When You said to me
You wanted to be happy
I always made you laugh.

When you said to me
You felt so sad
I always gave my shoulder
for you to cry on.

When you said to me.
I am so cold
I covered you inside my coat
And hugged you
Sharing my warmth.

When you said to me
I need to feel close to you
I always rested your head
upon my chest, so you could
feel my heartbeat.

When I said to you
I needed to feel you close
You kissed my lips.

When I said to you
I needed beautiful dreams
You gently closed my eyes.

When I said to you
I need to make love.
You took me
to your bed.

When I said to you
I want to marry you
You slipped my ring
upon your finger.

When we both said
we wanted
a lifetime together
filled with love a home
and children.
We both gave it to
each other
Sometimes love is all there is
jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
I remember when we met Ted
You always made things so right.
We used to always sleep together
So I was not scared at night.

We used to travel everywhere
Nobody ever knew.
You were always there for me
And I was there for you.

I used to tell you all my troubles.
You would listen all the day.
And when I got a tummy ache
You took the pain the away.

Once I had the measles
I was six days  lay in my bed
You never ever left me Ted.
You slept right by my head.

When the thunderstorm scared me
And the lightning’s flashing light
You snuggled up and held me
So safe all through the night.

The passing years they rolled along
And Ted we got older too.
I was not frightened anymore.
Oh! what could I do with you?

My little sons  in the next room.
There is a bear next to his head
With  one eye missing,
and it has a patch or two.
It is his favorite little bear
Its you Ted it is you.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
On rainy dreaty days
like this one.
The world is changed
to olive green.
A battle grey sky
is a dark canopy of clouds.
I can feel the
sadness of it inside me.
The mist of tears
drowning my heart.
Is it to last for eternity
this grey mounful darkness?
Then a breeze
a movement in the sky.
The clouds change shape
africa, a bear, a lion
and move away.
Leaving a circle
of hope above.
Its blueness a harbinger
of what is to come.
And the new light
forms a ray of hope
that penetrates my mood
and warms my heart
with its joy.
Jude kyrie Nov 2016
The doves are all dying
No peace left to own.
In the wars guns are firing
No sweetness or song

So call to your gods
They all turn away
Death falls from the blue sky
Kills children at play

So weep in the night
Hide your tears in the rain
There's a hole in the heavens
To let out the pain

Let the bells toll forever
As the wars cease to still
Children drown in the oceans
In an absent gods will.
I hate wars
Jude
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Canadian Moment
~~

*The shoreline of the great lake is adorned with
the majestic maples.
wearing their fall red coats of splendor.
The lakes still waters reflecting their images.
The edge of the setting sky
joining  in the upside down
picture that is changing by the moment.
Adding greys and magenta
to the blood red maples reflection.

We never see the lake as colorful
except in its autumnal glory.
The golden sun falls slowly on the horizon.
The sky crumbles into rainbows of red.
Eager to join the forming painting
on the waters silvered surface
as nature paints with her palette.

Darkness cast her peaceful shadow
The wild life comes to the shoreline slowly.
To join in all living things in a silent prayer
of gratitude for such bounty.

I am not human
they are not animals
We are all as one life species
speaking a language
That needs no words
Jude kyrie Nov 2015
you are my sisters best friend
I can see clearly the first time
I saw you.
You were sleeping over
couch surfing at our house.
My heart stood still
I had the overwhelming urge
to lie next to you.
Not to *******.
Like on TV dramas
Or to have *** in any way.
I just wanted to fold you
in my arms.
Safe and gentle
For you to feel what
Was happening in my heart.
Just youth and innocence.
But you were beautiful.
And I was nerdy awkward.
You were full of fascination
I was boring and dull.
Even then I knew
You were beyond me.
So I went to my room
Sat on my bed
and wept like a child.
Wiping tears from my eyes.
I knew that if my tears
were raindrops.
They were falling
into the ocean
that was you.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
Maybe one clear summer night
a nearby star will
supernova
and create a giant black hole.

So powerful
the sun and moon
will be swallowed
into its unknown depths.

so fast even
the earth will disappear
Into its ravenous depths
At the speed of light

perhaps then my love
I would think of you
for the last time
Nerds need love too
Jude
Jude kyrie Oct 2016
A Christmas Carol

the year 35AD

The Romans had crucified him.
But he was just a baby in his mother's arms.
They had gone out to see the spectacle of the man from Judea.
He was to be crucified a horrible death designed to control the people.
It worked there was no worse death known hanging for hours and days
Until the cramp stopped the heart.
He went past them in the crowd
The little boy wept
He stepped and the Roman soldier flogged his naked boy.
But as he got up just before the hill at Calvary
He stopped and dropped the heavy wooden cross
He kissed the baby on his head and pulled a sliver of wood from the heavy bloodstained crucifix he carried.
The whip cut his back but he did not flinch.
You are chosen he said.
My father calls your name.
Take this wood and bring his flock to his home.
The mother took the sliver it was bloodstained.
And sewed it into the baby's cloths.
It was in the leather coat she had made for him
And a light glowed from his head like a halo
Your name is love he said
And then they killed him.


2001
New York
Christmas was around the corner just a few days left
But she had no joy no spirit no belief.
She did not want the miracle for her
It was for the little girl.
At three she was dying
not even the Christmas trees lighting would she see.
They were rich full of modern worldly goods
A big house a rich husband
And cars vacation homes.
You are so lucky her friends said.
But she would have given everything away
To save her baby from the ravages of leukemia.
She held her close
the hospital sent her home
It's days they said just days.
She wrapped the little girl in a soft warm blanket.
And tucked her into the stroller.
Her husband held her arm tight for her support.
They walked to the lighting of the Christmas tree.
Looking for a bright moment to show their child
Before she slipped away from them into oblivion.
They were agnostics non believers of any religion.
Just a cheap way to control the masses said her husband.
She noticed in agreement.
What kind of god allows a beautiful baby to die.
At the center the tree was decorated
But not yet lit.
A boys choir were humming softly
Oh! Holy night it was beautiful.
A young boy his voice still unbroken sang beautifully
In a soprano voice that would pass into oblivion
the next year just like her little girl.
Then she felt someone push against her
It was a very old man.
He looked poor and lost.
She felt in her purse and gave him a hundred dollar bill.
Eat something this Christmas
she said kindly not knowing why.
He pulled a little leather coat
from under his ragged overcoat.
Place this on the child she needs his warmth.
The first snowflakes dropped from heaven
Perhaps to welcome her child to heavens doors.
Seeing no harm she put the coat on her baby.
She saw the child smile her cheeks flushed pink.
She held her arms out
But it was to the old man
He kissed her head?
What is your name
she asked the old man
is Abraham my lady
Abraham Love.
The lights exploded in a mirage of colors.

Fifteen years later she walked to the soup kitchen
The poor were congregated to escape the cold of the new York winter
A poor homeless lady held her baby in her arms she was crying
What's the matter honey the pretty young  girl said
It's my daughter she is dying.
Her heart is not working
and she will be dead by Christmas.
The young woman opened
her large carry all purse
And took out a small jacket
Put this on her she said.
It will keep out the winter's chill.
And it did wonders for me as a child I am told.
The woman looked at girl.
Silent night was playing softly and sweetly
from the salvation army brass band.
Who are you ?
what's your name she asked?
I am Jenny Williams ma'am.
But I changed my name to
Jenny Love.
I know I know  it's not scrooge
But poetic license
It's about Christmas already.
Smiles
Jude
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
I want to whisper
I love you.
but settle for goodnight.
For I love you
means I'm falling.
and I am terrified
of heights
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
Addictions

I wish I was addicted to alcohol
Or drugs
Or prescription pills.
There are programs
and treatment centers
to treat those conditions.
But my addiction
Is incurable
No one can help me.
I am addicted to you
And I know you
will never come back
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
Canada My Home

A country that beats with a strong young heart
I came I saw and will never part
Into the forest of the wild north
From ocean to ocean it stretches its girth
The most beautiful place on the earth
Majestic mountains that touch the sky
The lakes that sparkle like diamonds below
Its peaceful skies so safe and blue
Blessed with all the gifts God could bestow
Its peoples tolerant and diverse
Providing a refuge to forsaken souls
Now here in a place with justice for all
Accepting their culture leaving them whole
Great lakes like oceans shine in the sun
Farm lands without end before the eye
Feeding the world from its abundant blessings
Truly the place that is the land of my dreams
She’s adopted me as a native son
I will love her until my days are done
I love Canada
thank you for you
your adopted son
Jude
Jude kyrie Feb 2017
adrift at sea

Jude Kyrie

my poetry has become
a seagulls cry.
my soul is adrift
on a becalmed sea.
This sailors wife has
knitted his death
into his sweater.
the sea shall swallow me.
Unoticed with its infinite greed.
The cloudless sky
will take my poems
and recite them in sea winds
from a place on high.
the verses now melt
Into a single sound.
my poetry has become
a seagulls cry.
Read a Carl sagon quote
We sailors adrift on a becalmed sea
We sense the breeze.
It inspired this poem
Jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2018
He had made the journey
across the Swiss mountains.
The war was now far behind him
now just Catherine lay ahead.
As he reached the hospital ward
the old nurse shook her head.
What of the baby?
he asked quietly,
her sad eyes looked
down at the floor.

Catherine lay pale and weak
on the hospital bed.
Somehow she managed
a smile at his arrival.
Oh darling,
I am going to die.
Don’t let me die.
Hold me in your arms!
Hold me tight.
Don’t let me go.

When you hold me
we cannot be parted
If you stay with me
I shall not be afraid.

As she left him
the bells tolled.
Declaring the armistice.
The war had ended
for some.

He carried her
lifeless body in his arms
to the window.
The crowds below
had released hundreds
of white doves into the air.
to celebrate the end
of the great war.

They fluttered their wings
high above.
As if to carry her
soul to heaven,

He kissed her still lips
For one last goodbye.
And whispered peace,peace
at last my darling
Sorry Mr Hemingway
Judes a terminal
Card carrying
Romantic
Jude kyrie Aug 2016
Lifelines

We briefly touched hands today.
For the very last time as lovers.
Familiar and full of old feelings.
My finger tracing your lifeline.
Swirling here and there
like our time did together,

It reaches a fork in the lifeline
like we have.
You take one path
I the other.

Even as we part
I feel old warm
glows from before.
When need want and passion
burned brightly.

Your hand speaks to my fingertips
All the words we no longer can say.
left now only with empty silence.

I look at our time
a small part of your long lifeline.
It was so full
of promises and passion.
Now just distant echoes
from the past.

Unable to return to the beginning
I am left alone once more
With only my memories of you.
And all our yesterdays.
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
I am twenty four
Mornings are the worst.
At night I hold the down pillow
closely into my body
It has your fragrance on it.
It feels soft like you did in sleep.
I know
I can never feel your soft hair
drifting over my face
Or
Your leg finding mine.
I wonder if you still
sing show tunes
in the shower.
The smashed photo frame
of us in love tells me
Your not coming back.
But I can't seem
to throw it out.
Sometimes the moon
shines into my bedroom.
I know it can also
see you sleeping
And maybe
It's just trying to tell me
That you are alright.
Jude kyrie Jul 2016
In my deep strange world of dreams.
Perhaps I will find something of beauty.
A glimmer of hope that shines in the darkness.
Or a beautiful poem that holds my hand
as I bring it with me into the morning light.
Even a glimpse of who I once was
With trusting eyes and gentle beauty.
So very long ago before you declared war
Upon me
and I was left scarred and wounded
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
An aftertaste of Treason.
Why do you stay with me?
I feel your dreams of others
. Even when we kiss
in the depths
of my passion.
your mouth
has an aftertaste of treason.
And it stains your lips
the deepest wine red.
Already the ghost
of you is haunting me.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
Again and Again

I never dared to beg for the moon
I never knew I would find you so soon
I never thought I would feel what I feel
My love is outside I cannot conceal

Again and again I whisper your name
I kiss you and Kiss you again and again
There is the light of love in our eyes
Love that’s forever no more goodbyes

Far in the past the tears that I cried
Far in the past the cries that I sighed
All of my hopes are all coming true
All of my days I now give to you

Life's summer winds will in winter grow cold
But my love for you will never grow old
Here in your arms forever I’ll stay
Here in you arms until my last day

Again and again I whisper your name
I kiss you and Kiss you again and again
There is the light of love in our eyes
Love that’s forever no more goodbyes
Jude kyrie Aug 2018
There's a gap between the curtains
it's where the night gets in.
memories fall like icy snowflakes
and prickle on my skin.

I hear the voices calling
in the early light of day
a choir of sorrow and regret
that never goes away

There's a gap between the curtains
it lets in all the dark
awakens the soulful voices
where all old loves are parked.

I cry to see tomorrow.
But the past will never part
and the future holds its secrets
In the darkest of the  dark.
Not sure where this is from
jude
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
She was an artist
so beautiful
far beyond the likes of me.
I was in love with her
Only from a respectful
distance of course.
She said to me
You have beautiful hands.
I would love to paint them.
I modelled for her
Her delicate brush
Painted my hands on canvas.
They look so empty I said.
They are empty she said
They are just like that .
I realized she was right
They were empty
They did not hold her hands
Or touch her cheek
Or feel the softness of her skin
They never had
and they never would.
But for a single moment
as she painted them.
I felt she was mine to hold.
Just mine.
But the only thing the picture
Showed in my hands
Was a hard grip on cold reality.
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
In the line for the cinema
it was raining
a steady drizzle.
a young man
in front of me.
took off his coat and
put it over both
him and his girlfriend.
like a small shelter
from the world.
She smiled and
kissed him affectionately.
He kissed her back
on the tip of her nose.
Happily they went into
the cinema. together.
The movie was awful.
so I started thinking
about the couple again
I hoped they
loved each other.
Eventaly getting married
and always being
so good and caring.
Because theres just
not enough of that
kind of love going
around anymore
sigh romantic Jude again
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
it was so long ago
I was not much more than a boy.
I noticed her in the office
blonde classy and oh so ****.
in those days I got romantically excited
if a breeze passed by my chinos.
I asked her for a date
to go to the movies she accepted.
then she took me home
to meet her mother the dragon.
her father was dead.
she was possessive of her daughter
and hated me from first glance.
the feelings were mutual.
finally she went out for the evening.
and I was alone with her beautiful daughter.
I got what I wanted and had ***
it was not making love
I did not understand the difference back then.
I lost interest after that
the chase was more exciting than the act.
six weeks later she told me she was pregnant.
back then the only option was marraige.
I got drunk at the wedding
it felt more like a funeral to me.
we had to live with her mother
we had no money.
and her hate for me festered daily.
my new wife would not have ***
with her mother asleep in the next room.
we drifted from each other further each day.
I started going to the pub nightly.
coming home drunk and noisy.
the arguments were loud
and finally her mother threw me out.
my mother would not let me back home.
her down to earth Lancashire upbringing.
you made your own bed lad
now go and lie in it.
I saw my wife in town
we sat in the square and talked.
I thought how beautiful she was
and what a swine I was.
she wanted me back
she said she had always loved me.
I told her I would live in garden shed
before I would go back to her mother's.
we looked around for somewhere to live.
and found a tiny flat more of a rathole really.
but she fixed it up with second hand furniture.
and cans of paint.
we slept in our home for the first time.
we made love not ***
I knew the difference now.
by the time the baby came
we were friends
I think I loved her then.
it took two more years for me
to know I loved her.
we spent the last twenty five years
together and she is my friend
my lover and my companion.
we raised a family together.
and became grandparents  together.
so I did not get a romcom movie
love affair.
but somehow against all odds.
we found a kind of loving.
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
A Kodak Moment


*Echoes of you reverberate
In our now silent house.
Minutes crawl like hours
since I lost you.

Your pipe and book
still sitting by your chair.
Our old wedding album
Is open in front of me.

It was so long ago...so very long ago.
Yet the years ran by us like a deer.
I hold your old sweater to my breast
Reaching for you as I always did.

I thread the old celluloid film
onto the wheels of  the ancient projector.
It flickers and whirs
As you are resurrected once more
Splendid and handsome
in your wedding tux.
I stand beside you
Your young bride in white.
You say to God
I do.
Repeating out loud
my old nuptual vow
I whisper softly
I do... too honey.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
1951 a small mining town in Lancashire

I was only a young man of 18
back then. In the fifties.
The small after war mill town
in Lancashire was a desolate place.
Its dark soot stained buildings factory chimneys
that poured dark grey smoke
into the coal dust of air we breathed.
Even the town felt choked
by the dark hope for the future.
Smoke stacks and coal stained
buildings left from the remnants
of the industrial revolution.
Seemed to say to me
get out of here lad,
there's nothing for you.

Now all I felt in my heart was anger.
No jobs poor wages even if you could get one.
But I had my looks my youth and burning passion
to get somewhere in this ****** World.
And if I got the chance t would take it.

My dad got me a job in the offices
At the coal mine where he was a miner.
it was on the bottom rung of the ladder
I hated it, but it was a job.
That's where I first met her, my boss.
The eldest daughter of the mine owner.
She was pretty and spoiled.
Well educated and well dressed.
At rich daddy's expense I guessed.
But she was used to getting  her own way.
Nepotism was rife in those days.
She was thirty four but she kept
looking at me almost inspecting me.
Like her next toy I thought.

But I was eighteen.
I had never been with a woman
No experience, whatsoever with women.
And she was well built and pretty.
She spoke to me gently and respectfully.
Like a teacher does to a pupil.

She would bend over my desk
Teaching me the intricacy of the business,
And as I listened all I could notice
Were her beautiful breast
and the impressive cleavage
Inside her blouse.

Every morning she smiled at me
and wished me  good day.
What she did not know she had starred
In my ******  dream last night and in it
Her expensive clothes lay carelessly
On the  floor next to the bed,
that we were sharing.

She spent time with me
and taught.me a lot
about the business.
Her family owned half the town.

I had to work the weekend
the auditors were coming in
on monday morning early.
At seven o'clock on Saturday evening
we finished our preparations.

Thank you so much, she said softly.
You must be famished, I am.
She took me into town
in her MG sports car.
We ate at a nice pub I had
three glasses of red wine.
I liked it I had never drank wine before.

She said, do you have a girl.
I blushed, no miss.
Why not, you are very nice looking.
Have you not found one lady
that you would like to ask out.

Yes miss I.mumbled, there's one.
She looked at me, I thought
I saw a tiny bit of jealousy.
But it could be the wine.
Who is she? tell me about her
it was half a question
yet half an order.

I called upon the glow
of my new found wine friend and said.
She's so beautiful miss.
Very very stylish.
Lovely figure
and perfect gray eyes.
I don't think I have ever seen
a woman as lovely as her.

She sounds lovely she said.
But I noticed she was a bit miffed.
Why don't you ask her out.?
Because I don't think
she would accept miss.
She is far above my station.

Look she said out of the office
You may call me Elizabeth, all right.
I said yes miss….er... Elizabeth.
Who is this lady you talk of anyway?

It's …..its you miss.
She went silent.
Looking at me intently.

Have I lost my job, miss I asked.
No you haven't it's alright.
I am much older than you.
It would not be appropriate.

Men go with ladies
much younger than they are miss.
Yes, I know they do.

She took me back to the small
flat she kept in the city.
For nights that
she may be out on the town.
It was cosy and comfortable.
She poured more wine.

Why have you never married? I asked.
She smiled.
Because all those
that asked me, I didn't love,
all those I loved, did not ask
she quipped.

I took my jacket off
I was warm with the wine.
And  the closeness to her.
My small pocket novel sized girlie
magazine fell out of the inside pocket.
I grabbed it quickly.

but she had seen it.
Let me see it, she said.
I passed it to her blushing.
She looked at the pictures
of the large breasted naked ladies.
They are lovely, she said.

They are not as lovely as you are miss.
Have you ever been with a lady.
She asked.
I blushed no not yet,.
She said then it's high time you did.

Taking my hand
she led me to her bedroom.
I am not sure what to do, I whispered.
Hush, hush, now come to me,
She took me slowly and patiently.

I felt the boyhood leave my body
Irrevocably rushing into her as my
manhood appeared in its place.

I slept in her arms and
when  I woke in the night.
she took me again
and held my head
onto her beautiful breast
as I slept like a child.

After that she took me to her place
after work almost every day,
She took me to her bed
and we made love.

After  few months I came into work
she called me into her office.
She looked very troubled.
I thought I was getting fired.

But she said, I'm pregnant.
In those days abortions
were illegal and dangerous.
And out of  wedlock babies poured
shame on lady and family.

She said I want this baby.
I told my mother
She broke it to daddy last night.
He's furious, he wants to see you
in his office now.

I nearly collapsed
with fear and. confusion.
But I made my way to the
managing director's office.
He was a big man with a
moustache and silver hair.
Noted for his bad temper.

He said I make no bones about it.
You are not suitable
to be a member of my family.
I had my lawyer draw up an agreement.
and termination package.

He brought out his checkbook.
He wrote a cheque payable to me
for thirty thousand pounds.
An enormous sum in those days.
Move on leave town
and never bother Elizabeth again.
He said strictly.

I do not know to this day, where
I got the courage from.
I looked at the cheque.
And thought of my
hundred and five pounds, net worth.
And I tore it half.

Sir, You can fire me,
blacklist my name
in the north of England .
Make my life a living hell.
you have this power, I know.
.
But I shall not leave Elisabeth
unless she tells me to go.
And even then
I do not want your money.

He stopped silently.
and looked at me
as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

He always got his way,
No one ever talked back at him.
But.
There was something about this boy
that reminded him of himself so long ago
when he had not two half penny's
to rub together.
And truth be known,
he married his wife Maud
because she was in the family way..

Very well then.
we will call my errant daughter.
and she can tell you to go herself.

Elizabeth came in the room
Her pretty eyes.
Red from crying.
Tell him to go, daughter
he commanded.

I offered him thirty
thousand pounds to go away.
But he tore up the cheque.
He wants to hear you
to tell him to leave.
And he will leave
without a penny.
tell him to go now.

She looked up into my face
She saw all the love
in my eyes that I had for her.

Do you want me?
she asked
I answered
yes I do.

Do you want this baby
she asked firmly.
Yes I do.

Do you want to marry me
she asked?
Yes I do .

Old Abel her father knew defeat
when it was inevitable.
Alright then,against my blessing
you get married next week in white.
No bride of my family
Will go to altar great with child.

Ten years later

Abel had retired.
And became the doting grandfather.
To  our four dear children.
After the twins were born
then a year later his granddaughter
a year later his grandson.
he realised that his daughter
was the happiest women
in the north.of England.

.And his son in law
was  good husband and father.

I ran the mine
and expanded his interest
into electronics manufacturing.

We sit together on summer nights
on the river bank.
Sometimes Elizabeth and me get a little
alone time. No kids no work.
I say to her  l love you honey.
You are still the most beautiful woman
i have ever been with.

She laughs
i am the only woman
you have been with
I corrupted you as a youth.

I whisper,
.I am so happy you never
asked me to leave
that day in his office.
She smiled.
No,
I proposed to you instead,my  love.

Why did you not accept the huge sum
of money he offered and run.

Because
Of something you once said
about not being married
What's that then?
she questioned
All the ones you loved
did not ask you.
And
You were the one I loved
and you did ask me
I like to visit my roots now and then.
My humble origins
Before I left England.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
The graveyard was melting.
in the shadows of nightfall.
Darkness and death
are my fear my kryptonite.
Yet I walked into the iron gate
creaking like old bones.

I needed to find you
I know you lived here now.
I could feel our friendship still calling me?
In all the darkness I saw a light
a small  flickering flame.
It was on your headstone.
I knew it was yours.
Your mother had lit a candle for you today.

I knelt down and kissed the granite
with your name?
Not in prayer
it was too late for that.
Only whispering “Hello my old friend”
quietly so no other ghost can hear me?
I tossed on a playlist from the old days.
And sat down for a chat like always.

Remember we were almost thirteen
We got detention for refusing to
Stop wearing black everything.
and wearing black lipstick?
We knew were special then
more than girlfriends
More than sisters
we were us forever.

We learned how to drink cheap wine.
Get drunk together and get over hangover.
You taught me to smoke
until I was green and sick.
Remember college we got out of that boring
Home town with a single traffic light.
We danced partied and learned ***?
Experimented with drugs it was crazy

I don’t know how we survived.
You were filled with hidden sickness
I was to the brim crazy.
But we did.

at twenty two we got better?
You moved away and I went home.
I heard you married a woman.
Why did you never tell me you were gay?
I would have married you in a heartbeat.

I called you to get together for a reunion.
Bring your wife I said?
But you were already
starting to leave this world.
I met a friend in coffee shop the other day.
She told me you were gone
I asked gone where?
She looked at the floor just GONE.
So here I am sweetie

Do you remember anything that day?
Except the sudden chest pain
The lack of oxygen.
Did you remember me?

That’s when my tears came
Wetting the granite stone.
You know I always have loved you.
And it’s just not the same in crazyville
without you.

As if in answer to me
The moon peeped from behind a cloud.
And shone onto us in a beam.
I kissed her farewell
And walked away into the darkness.
Jude kyrie Dec 2017
It has been many faded years since I lost you.
Yet the memories of you are indelible.
I know we are very different you and I.
You with your dreams in the heavens
Plans that were cascading in the planets.

Me, so grounded to planet earth
Afraid to take the risk of wild dreams.
Yet I loved you, and
I swallowed my fears like a pill.
I climbed aboard your spaceship.

Even though it was inevitable that I would
One day fall back to earth.
Knowing all of this,even now
I would not change anything about us.

For just a small moment
I touched the moon and stars
and visited the vast unknown.
And it was you who took me there
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Letter to heaven

I remember when mom died grandpa.
I was so small and frightened.
You took me to your home to live with you.
I remember your unshaven face and big
brown hard working hands Grandpa.
You fixed everything with your hands.
But you fixed me with your love.

you gave me mom's old room.
You told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there
when she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not
believe in heaven Grandpa.
You said it's alright I will one day.
Heaven was a different
place for everyone.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms Grandpa.
it was always so safe with you.

I never told you Grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma were my heaven.

I know you have gone
now to your heaven.
Sat somewhere in a kitchen up there
eating food from the old country.
Grandma at the stove
mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe
before the war.

My heaven was
with you all grandpa.
I think I will
change my heaven
to yours after all.
That's all I want Grandpa
just our heaven.

I only wish
there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you .

All My Love
Jude
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
Finding my Heaven
a letter to my grandpa

I remember you when mom died grandpa.
I was so small and frightened.
You took me to your home.
I remember your unshaven face and
brown hard working hands Grandpa.
you fixed everything with your hands.
But you fixed me with your love.

you gave me mom's old room.
You told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there.
When she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not
believe in heaven Grandpa.
You said it's alright I will one day.
Heaven was a different
place for everyone.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms Grandpa.
it was always so safe.

I never told you Grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma were my heaven.

I know you have gone
now to your heaven.
Sat in a kitchen up there
eating food from the old country.
Grandma at the stove
mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe
before the war.

My heaven was
with you all grandpa.
I think I will
change my heaven
to yours after all.
That's all I want Grandpa
just our heaven.

I only wish
there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you.

All My Love Grandpa

Jude
Jude kyrie Apr 2016
a Lady at psychological
treatment center.
she tells the therapist her story.
she says she's being abducted
by aliens every night
they take her to their ship
and she is used for
****** experimentation
to prepare for an invasion of earth.
the therapist holds her hand
and says never mind dear
I will help you get rid of them
forever in just a short while.
she shouted NO! in dismay.
Can you ask them to come
just once a week
she said sweetly.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
Life Of Roses


And then in an instant
All that was left
of the world  was roses.
the sun light rained
into the oceans
a colored fragrant mist
of roses.

The streams rushing
From melted snow
Of pristine mountains
Knew it was time.
And roses flowed
In endless waves

Covering our feet
As they swept by
It was time for roses
It was time for us.

A time for roots
and planting.
She in me
and me in her.
In winds of pure
White roses

We are now one.
Looking at
the new earth
drinking the nectar
of the heart of the world.

Bathing in its waters
Forever in love
Forever in roses
Jude kyrie Sep 2016
A Little Bloom of Moonlight
By
Jude Kyrie

Within the pristine stillness
Lies the soft velvet of night.
A sad moon peers down
Knowing all that has been.

A night bird sings his song
Softly with the pathos
Of a thousand years

Trees silhouette
in the moonlight
Reaching to the night sky
From their rooted life.

In the hedgerow
a white abundance
of tangled clematis
shine under its light.

The night world blooms
As the dust of sleep falls
into children's eyes.
Jude kyrie Jul 2016
The moonlight spills
it's silvered milk
In pools outside my window.
I play the piano in its ambiance
It is her favorite piece
Chopins moonlight sonata.
She promised me
a house full of forevers.
But the jelous gods only smiled.
She has gone now to an illuminated
Place where darkness and pain
do not exist.
I touch the keys as softly
as I once touched her skin
The beautiful melody
floats upwards.
She is behind me now
touching my hair
As I play for her
just like always.
I cannot stop playing
or she will melt
Into the velvet night.
The hours pass unnoticed
and the night is broken
by streams if a golden dawn.
The. Last notes of the melody
Rise above the clouds.
And I know in some far off
world her fingers are spread
on a window
and my music
Is playing in her heart.
Jude kyrie Mar 2016
sometimes.
I feel I lost in us.
That we share
one heart.
one pair of lungs.
And when I think
i know you can hear it.
Shouldn't we be more
of ourselves
less dependant.
perhaps not as
intrusively linked?
But even knowing this
I cannot change it
because I do not
know anymore.
where I end
and you begin.
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
All About Us

When You said to me
You wanted to be happy
I always made you laugh.

When you said to me
You felt so sad
I always gave my shoulder
for you to cry on.

When you said to me.
I am so cold
I covered you inside my coat
And hugged you
Sharing my warmth.

When you said to me
I need to feel close to you
I always rested your head
upon my chest so you could
feel my heartbeat.

When I said to you
I needed to feel
You kissed my lips.

When I said to you
I needed beautiful dreams
You gently kissed my eyelids

When I said to you
I need to make love.
You took me
to your bed.

When I said to you
I want to marry you
You slipped my ring
upon your finger.

When we both said
we wanted
a lifetime together
filled with love
a happy home
and children.
We gave it to
each other.
All My Love Sweetheart
Jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
All afternoon the rain falls.
I sit at the piano and play.
As softly as the falling raindrops
It is Claire de lune.
It plays in my  head all day
It was your favorite piece.
Through my window
the world is dressed in olive green.
It was on such days
we walked together in the rain.
The mist falling over the trees
The moments of gentle tranquility
Shared quietly
the only communication.
The senses through our fingertips.
as we held hands.
You always held my hand on walks.
More as sign that I belonged to you.
As I always have even now so long
after you have gone.
Somehow in ways I do not know.
My fingers play the beautiful
melody that you loved
And I know in a world
far away from mine.
Where lives no pain or darkness.
You are placing your fingertips
on a distant window pane.
And my music will be
Playing in your heart.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
all Chained up in Blue

I remember when we met
It was a bitter pill to chew
She told me her sad story
All chained up in blue

I had a room you shared my bed
You shared my smoking too
We kissed and fought till all was said
All chained up in blue

My friends all said
hard as nails she’ll make a mess of you
But I was in a foot too deep
All chained up in blue

Woke up in a drunken haze
She left me with just a hole in my shoe
I did not cry because I’ll get by
All chained up in blue

For years I looked and tried to find
Lots of women passed on through
But you would sit inside my head
All chained up in blue

On bourbon street in a ******* bar
I looked up and it was you
You asked me if we had met before
All chained up in blue

She took me to her ***** room
Read poetry and fed me a brew
The words brought sorrow to my eyes
All chained up in blue

I ran in the morning like a frightened dog
Running is all I ever do
As I hitched a ride west with a pain in chest
All chained up in blue

Time swims by I still don’t cry
But I always think of you
Drop a nickel in a phone
but don’t call home
All chained up in blue
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
You have beautiful long hair
It frames the pillow like
A fury of yellow corn.
Your eyes are the brightest blue
I have ever seen.
I know the pattern of tiny moles
That blemish your back
Your breast as soft as down.
I even know the scars on your arm
From when you fell with a glass bottle
As a little girl.
I know the curves of your full lips
The edges turned upwards
Ready for an easy smile.
I know every part of you
I have breathed it into my soul.
And if any other woman
Kissed me.
All she would taste
On my breath
Is you
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
All My Broken forever’s
Poem
Jude Kyrie

When I was just a little girl
The life lessons started early.
I was fearless cuts and bruises
We’re my trophies of war.
Earned and displayed with pride.

My father had rasperberry vines.
And beautiful rose gardens.
I learned that all things
Sweet and lovely have thorns.

When I was thirteen
I got the power.
I learned my body
could get me all I wanted.
So I wore thick mascara
And dark red lipstick.
Math was useless
Except for counting calories.
I learned popularity and beauty
Live in a dark place called hunger.

At fourteen I learned way
too much too early.
That all boys
were like the twelve apostles.
The same but all different.
I found the apostles
that wanted me were
like Judas
their words drenched In betrayal
and their kisses in deceit.

I know they could read my fears
The ones that really hurt.
The ones that leave scar tissue
around the heart
that last for a lifetime.
The kind of pain
that changes you.

So all the apostle’s
I met in later life.
Even the sweet ones
and the purest of heart.
Got treated like Judas.
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
All my forevers
a love poem
from
Jude Kyrie

I know you have loved others.
You are not the first one
I gazed at like a new planet.
We both have wounds and scars.
From broken promises of forever.
Our love has come from the
darkness of the night.
Unasked and unexpected.
It fell upon us like gentle stardust.
It is a small miracle.
I will hold you like repentance
You will hold me like forgiveness.
Hold each other so tight
The rose petals of our hearts
Caught between our flesh will
be pressed like orchids
In the pages of old books.
I will write beautiful love poems
with all the words I have ever prayed.
Prayers that I might find you my love.
I will bathe your wounds and scars
with the pail of teardrops
that I cried when I lost hope
that I may ever find you.
I will warm you in the snows of winter
Cool you in the heat of summer.
And hold you safe in the eye of a hurricane.
For now we are one
and it is no longer
Clear where you end
and I begin.
Jude kyrie Aug 2016
I am writing love poems
to the ghost once more.
The ones that wail in the space
where my heart once lived.
Where sadness now dwells
in deep oceans.
And longing lies drowned
in their depths.
Let the ink spill in blue words
like veins of blood onto the paper.

Once you collected all the stars
from the galaxy.
You pressed them
into my eager hands.

To guide you through
all the darkness of life you said.
How could I ever stop the gods
from taking you away?
The one who could collect stars.

When you left I folded my heart
into a love poem.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to
eternity I whispered.

I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains.

So I write to them
one more time.
As the dying embers
of your stars slowly
fade in my hands
one by one.
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
I was at the last breath of my career.
I flew to London because my daughter
was getting married.
they all hated me because
perhaps I deserved it.
on the flight the flight attendant
caught my eye
I think I have always been attracted
to nice ladies in uniforms
she was English I am Canadian.
but the flight was not busy
so she sat and chatted with me.
I told her about the wedding
she said she did not have children.
except once she was pregnant
but did the smart girl thing.
that's when I noticed a tear form in her eye
when I got off the plane at Heathrow
I felt a napkin in my pocket
on it she placed her number in London.
I got into my hotel
but I was the only one of the wedding group
booked there.
I knew I was not welcome.
At the rehearsal I was ignored.
my ex wife told me not to drink
and embarrass her.
in thirty seconds
I felt more alone than ever.
I called the napkin number.
she remembered me.
we met and shared a drink of wine.
she asked me why I was so sad.
I said it was my fault
I lost them.
she asked if I ever got lonely.
I whispered yes.
she said are you lonely now.
I said yes.

a year later

I am still in England
I play piano bar
in hotels.
we got married a month ago.
so much happier than before.
she had my new granddaughter
we are looking after her
for the night.
my daughter is out for
her anniversary dinner.
my ex said I look happier
than I have ever been.
her husband and I are golf buddies.
and my lady who flies the blue sky's
takes my heart with her
all over the world.
in her in her small
fit in the overhead compartment
suitcase
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
I sit in the dark barroom.
The smell of whisky
sings like a dirge.
It’s a room where
hearts go to die.
I know why I am here.
Its my burden.
I know why she left me ….I know why
I remember the wedding.
I pull a creased photo
out of my pocket.
My God she is beautiful.
I must not go there anymore.
I am out of tears
now just the pain stays.
I look at myself in the picture.
So young and handsome.
My dress uniform white and gold
I am the brave soldier
she always wanted.
We look like movie stars.
An officer and a gentleman.
Then I went to war
I can still see the carnage.
The roadside bombs
Children bleeding in the streets.
Women crying for dead
husbands and children.
They followed me home
like ghost.
And when I slept
next to her beautiful body.
They cameto me
in my nightmares.
And made me scream
and weep like a child.
I lost my soul
In that war.
And one day
I lost her as well.
The bartender leans forward
and shows her cleavage.
But all I want is another drink.
Perhaps one more
Will stop me thinking.
For all our soldiers who can't leave the memories behind.
blessings
Jude
Jude kyrie Nov 2015
All that is left of me
A soldiers PTSD story
by
Jude Kyrie


I sit in the dark barroom.
The smell of whisky and beer
sings like a dirge.
It’s a room where
hearts go to die.

I know why I am here.
Its my burden.
I know why she left me ….I know why
I remember the wedding.
I pull a creased photo
out of my pocket.

My God she is beautiful.
I must not go there anymore.
I am out of tears
now just the pain stays.
I look at myself in the picture.
So young and handsome.

My dress uniform white and gold
I am the brave soldier
she always wanted.
We look like movie stars.

Then I went to war
I can still see the carnage.
The roadside bombs
Children bleeding in the streets.
Women crying for dead
husbands and sons.

They followed me home
like ghost.
And when I slept
next to her beautiful body.
They came in my nightmares.
And made me scream
and weep like a child.

I lost my soul
In that war.
And one day
I lost her as well.

The bartender leans forward
and shows her tempting cleavage.
But all I want is another drink.
Perhaps one more
will take me a place
called oblivion.
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