did i let go
of you ?
or did you
let go of me?
did i slip
through
your fingers?
or did you
slip through
mine?
either way
we were
careless
and now..
now
you
couldn't

i don't think
i will ever not be in love
with trees
it makes my heart humble
seeing in one sweeping moment
the expanse
of their life
so beautiful is it
that it must span
the length
and breadth
of the sky...

I paint myself blue to remind me of your melancholy;
White to remind me of your smile,so holy.

I paint myself green to represent your calmness;
Yellow to represent your charm.
Pink for the times I knew I loved you,nothing more nothing less;
Purple for the endless times I desired to cup your face in my palm.

I paint myself blue to remind me of your melancholy;
White to remind me of your smile,so holy.


I paint myself red to symbolize your anger;
Orange to symbolize your madness.
Brown for your eyes full of danger;
Black for your soul spilling with grief and sadness.

I paint myself blue to remind me of your melancholy;
White to remind me of your smile,so holy.


I scrub myself to wash your scent off of me;
I mix all the colours until they form one colour.
I wash it all off until my brown skin is all I can see;
I may have lost you but I can see myself clearer.

We are firefighters you and I.
Fighting back a blind hot fire. 
You, because of our impossible situation and the Other.
Me, because of my impossible situation and your Other.
I'm trying to keep my fire low and starving, or only a faint glow even,
but a whiff of air is enough,
enough to set my whole existence on fire.
Lay homes in ashes if not drowned or extinguished.

I'm grateful...

you keep your fanning breath of air
a swift tickling breeze for my sake.
Keeping your flare out of my flammable hair

but God, I want to burn so badly
I want to flame high, white and hot.
Not allowed to do that though....sadly...

I want to explode in a firestorm.
Consume everything in my way.
not listen to what they'd say
Turn everything into sorrow and ashes.
Let my heated tongues of flame lick you,
until you too is burnt to pieces.
Burnt pieces of charcoals
that I'd keep  in my heated heart.

A charred smoking reminder
of how devastating this fire of our love is.
How ugly to all that is beautiful and true.
Once letting my fire burn free there is no taming it,
no pardon, no wit

So, thank you my love!

For not fanning this fire
with more than
your flammable existence
It is oxygen enough.
I've lost all resistance.

So, thank you my love!

For not doing it my way.
Not letting me lay
my world in ached ruins.

It doesn't seem fair,
but let me slowly suffocate,
Turn your love into hate
make me choke and gasp for air.
A faint flickering flame
Pitiful and tame
As my fireman, put it out while you still can...