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Jose Gonzalez Sep 2019
©J.GonzalezJr 7/2019

Into the brisk, cold night I ventured home,
leaving joyous occasion of friends and delights.
Filled on laughter, food, and warming spirits,
I tucked into my coat and gloves to journey home.
Sky filled by celestial stars and fullest moon,
the olden road leading me to needed slumber.
Moving forward still filled in mood of merriments,
as sounds of fading friends grow weaker by every step.
The glow of the home's lit fireplace dim's,
as shadows cast from moon and trees ahead.
A late hour of night to be in woods alone,
a long way to be made with the greatest of haste.

The cold chill of wind brushes my face firmly,
as if Death's hand caressing me to follow.
Shivers run throughout to my spine in waves,
feeling unnatural though it is just the very.
Dried leaves rustling past feet keeping to pace me,
such unnerving nuisance to my ears and senses.
The scraping and knocks of outstrecthed tree limbs,
as if decrepit fingers begging up to the moon.
Swaying within gusts like hideous worshipers,
crowding in as if to make me believe in their ways.
Making quickened pace to surpass this horrid place,
not giving way to thoughts of such *******.

Remembering the evening just had of friends,
filling my mind with contentness to travel on.
Laughing aloud to a story of great humor told,
broken by noise in return from amongst the trees!
Frozen within my steps to listen closer,
scanning darkness and behind for something familiar.
Met with nothing but silence and nature in view and hearing,
just to tuck deeper into my coverings to resume leave.
Too much drink of spirits is the reason i give to self,
the need to bed from the festive eve of friends.
Perhaps to hum a tune we did sing to ease me,
yeta laughter pierces the air as if upon a cue.

Turned to seek if joker is in close hidden follow,
perhaps a friend having left soon after my departure.
"where do you hide old friend?" to the dark is called,
yet nothing to greet back in return.
"If a foe or to do harm upon me I am ready!"
but trees and leaves give only reponse.
I return with fear to now quickened walk home,
heart beating in chest with more sounding.
My hands clamming, rubbing in moistening glove,
feet stamping to hardened ground below.
Sweat forming all about head and neck in irritation,
as the feel of garments sticking, tightening to body.

Every few moments I turn looking behind,
expectations to see who trails me in eerie follow.
Laughter echoes from beyond range of sighting,
stirring deepened fears, surfacing from deep within.
Laughter gains it's closeness by every moment,
as my feet slam to gain distance away.
Wind beats against me in cold resistance,
defiant to my attempt to succeed to hurry.
Laughter has become great and loud in trailing,
like a witch's cackle filling the air around from beyond.
It gains to the woods all about me and fierce,
as to taunting and make mockery of my speed.

Shadows of decrepit limbs cast forth on the road,
taunting in meaining to grasp at my soul!
The road ahead has many turns to my safety,
I am knowing the forest as I lived here so long.
Perhaps I am to lose my tracker in short,
by cutting time to where I need in being!
Laughter falls upon me in maddened form,
if to be ready to pounce upon me with unearthly hands!
"I know the woods better than it", I pant aloud,
"this will be where I am to flee free", gasping to reassure me!
Straight off to woods from hardened road i panic,
laughter in closest follows of lay's voice most macabre.

Breath shortening from exerted strides over rocks,
chest pounding, filling body and legs of pain.
Lady of laughter grows closest yet,
as to revel in my frightful state.
No longer do i care of horrid, darkened place,
refuge home is the answer to my torment.
The voice calls my surname aloud in evil tone,
"Ingleton" then gives way to returning laugh!
Pain most intense fills my chest in squeezing manner,
limbs weakening with every strain i can give!
In very distance sight is a glow of my home,
This my final push to my haven in waiting!

Upon my neck a whipser I did hear,
"Henry", came the voice in fullest terror.
Legs gave way to buckling and tumble down rocky knoll,
sudden ringing of head,as stopped by large stone!
Vision blurred and senses be ******,
luck seems to be passed to only misfortune!
Vision clears well enough to see stone i had hit,
a very long ago hidden secret I had made.
A crime before me of many years gone and very night,
the ****** of wife, tonight of that very time I commited.
Clenching my chest of life being wrenched within,
a voice too familiar whispers as my life my departs away.

Something long forgotten, just brushed aside i had done,
a truth covered by heinous acts of my own doing.
A ****** most foul, with my hands at place of rest,
my fate forced by karma as to see what has been done.
I turn from stone on ground sensing my stalker behind,
I am spoken to by her, with voice of ethereal plane.
The sight of once living wife, not as I knew from living,
now of vengeful specter, here to bring my own end.
All life left within me, begins to flee in the horror that stands,
The night gives to little light fading, as body begins to cease.
"Did you forget of darling wife Laura Ingleton?" is last I hear,
her vengence has come for me, to bring me to where i deserve!
Her final laugh to be had and echo in these woods,
as I, there in dying, just being yards from home.
Jose Gonzalez Feb 2019
Ah, the sound of silence. When nothing but the occasional small sound is heard. The way one can hear the thump of blood pumping through your veins, drumming softly in your ear. The feeling of air passing in and out of your body effortlessly, as your chest rises and falls.
  It's just a relaxing moment to just, well just be. Ooh what was that sudden shiver through your body? Where did that come from like that? Okay, just gonna get back to relaxing. Enjoy the silence again without worries, without stress, and not think of anything.
   Whats with the shivers all of a sudden? Don't think anything is open or a draft from anywhere? Can't understand why this is happening? It's making relaxation a bit more difficult to do. Maybe glance around the room to see if  something is causing it to feel a bit chilled.
   Why does it seem every little sound now seems odd? Familiar but out of place in some way. The shivering is just increasing more and more, agitating as to why it's happening. That slow thumping of blood in the ear is growing louder and louder. Chest is rising and sinking faster.
   The silence has a different feel about it now. The air is chilled for sure, but not a crisp chill. It's feeling heavier by the seconds, pressing in all around from everywhere. Why is this coming on like this? Why am i suddenly listening to every litlle noise? What the F is this?
   Alright this is becoming a bit much isn't it? All there was to be done was relax. Thats it! The room is feeling crowded, overwhelming, smothering to be in. The hairs are standing up and no reason why they should. Okay, anxiety is  building and building, but what for? Calm, calm!
   Have to get up! Have to get warm! Have to shake this off! The shivering is getting out of hand! Heart is beating way too much and breathe! Have to breathe!! Whats with alll the constant little sounds? What is wrong!? Get up! Get up! Get up! Just need to leave the room!!
   Can't stop looking around! Why's it so heavy in the air? Gotta get the F out right now! Something isn't right! Lord, Lord, this is too much! CHRIST!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!???
   Silence! It's all gone suddenly! The quiet from before has come back as if none of this happened. The Anxiety seems to be leaving, the shivers fading. The air is lighter and breathable. It's all too strange to make any sens of it. Except the tingling and raised hairs.
   The Static charge is spiking right now from the back all the way up the spine and to the arms! Out of nowhere comes the feeling of breath on the ear and words saying, "It's me"! and as the only image at that very moment is the large black mass that rushes in the room!
  
That is what is in the silence. Waiting for the stillness of your mind! ~JGJr~
Feb/3/2019
Jose Gonzalez Sep 2018
Ocean Vigil of Her
From distant shore I send signals of love
bottled notes adrift in currents
smoke signals carried into the winds
signaled lights across the waters.


I build castles in the sands as models
write words in the surf to be taken
look to the sky in dreaming
build a fire to beacon my warmth.


I sit at a jetty looking to the sea
listening to the voice upon winds
feeling the soul of the waters
admiring the life that lives within.


I am on this shore in vigilance
waiting for the tides to be right
at the ready to become one
and join where the waters meet.


I send feelings of my heart in any form
so you know, I am here, in vigil of you

Copyright © J.L.Gonzalez 2018
Jose Gonzalez Sep 2018
I stand before you in deep desire, yearning the fruit I cannot have. How I wish of being quenched, to rid of this parching by your nectar. As such to savor every part, taking in the essence of it all fully. Oh how to be a mighty wind in doing so, swaying you to your roots.
Jose Gonzalez Sep 2018
Oh how I wish to draw you near,
to bite your lip and feel you tremble in my arms.
To whisper things of us in your ear,
and set us free from all our places of harms.
If I could only start this moment here with you,
we would have a whole new world together instead of being apart.

I'd look deep in your eyes, it's then you'd realize,
just how far down this feeling goes.
We'd breathe each other in, hands pressed into skin,
no longer scared to wherever this goes.
If you could only know, if you only felt how I feel,
you'd understand what it is that I see.

Kisses pressing on your skin,
following every part like dew on a rose.
Our hands clasped ever so tight,
feeling the beats of our hearts grow.
There'd be no other way, words we don't have to say,
just intertwining into the unknown.
My only wish would be,
for this and you to know!

I know, I know, I know, these feelings will just lay still,
floating in the well of my silenced heart.
I'd show, I'd show, I'd show, how much you mean to me,
if I didn't keep it in the dark.
Will it ever end, with no means to begin,
and no way to let it out?

All the times you've been near, I've shaken in my fears,
yearning all the time for you.
Wanting, desiring, time keeps expiring,
why did this have to be? Loving and yearning,
our souls are set burning, oh God please set me, free!
As I'm only left,
behind to walk in the shadows of love.


Copyright © Jose Gonzalez 9.21.2018
Jose Gonzalez Sep 2016
I am a traveler commuting on life's rails,
going station to station.
Disembarking at different destinations,
each time spent differently.
The car can be claustrophobic with passengers,
suffocating me in anxiety.
Other times, just a few of familiar faces,
friends, families, locals, daily riders.
Some talking, of life, nonsense, all or nothing,
each making their way.
There are times of light, above ground and of sun,
the rest tunneled, falsely lit, dark.
The sights of open land, buildings, and of the day,
the faces of love, hurt, hurried and grind.
Day in Day out this cycle goes on,
different,yet the same.
I am part of this mass exodus to get somewhere,
yet my commute is my own.
At times I arrive with many at the platform
bustling towards their tasks.
Trains for life come and go, expresses to locals,
roaring with noise, movements, purpose.
However, there are times i am the only one there,
Occasional train, in silence, alone.
Those are the days that my commute seems fruitless,
leaving me to wonder,
Have I just been passing it all by?

© J.L.Gonzalez75 09/2016
* this is a rough edit... am not a poet, but just write.
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