Jon Shierling

Jon Shierling Feb 2016

That day near Mazatlan you suddenly turned to me
and declared,"You were a romantic once, when I loved you."

Jon Shierling Feb 2016

Try to tear the words from my lungs,
I have nothing to say.
Claw the flesh from my ribs
and find my chest empty.
Eyes the non color of rain drops
that give you nothing to grasp.
Come to me seeking nourishment
salvation from a ghost is not forthcoming.
I hate you for the helplessness you foster
the mute hunger of the drowning woman.
Go from me and forget my name
I have nothing else for you.

Jon Shierling Feb 2016

Waters of Babylon

I filled my veins with forgetfulness
to escape the knives in your eyes
and the thunder of the drums in my ears;
Empty me out
as water into a sieve
and leave me here for the jackals.

Jon Shierling Jan 2016

Time

Ozymandias was a conqueror, a man that lay low kingdoms,
and yet is now a pillar of dust.

This, dust beneath us, is all that shall remain.

Love is all that we have of ourselves,
the only thing worth giving,
or taking,
which stands the test of time.

Sep 2015

Harsh

Loving Whilst Unloved

I once read a post that said
something along the lines of
“I do not trust people
who tell me ‘I love you’
and yet do not love themselves.”

And that hurt my heart, it really did.

Who are you to invalidate my love?

Do you not know
of the sleepless nights I have spent,
laboring over my sins of the day?
Knowing that sometimes
I may never repent?
With past regrets
and paranoid overthinking,
how do I rest?

Do you not know
of how I avoid looking in mirrors
throughout the day,
or how I hate looking
at myself in the shower?
Don't you know how
conflicted I feel when lying
naked and vulnerable with my lover?

Do you not know
what it feels like to apologize
for who you are?
Or to have all of
your efforts and ethics
invalidated and dismissed?

If you do not trust me then so be it,
but do not reject the idea that I can love.
I know what it means to have
neither hope nor acceptance,
I know what it means
to regret my existence.

I know what it feels like
at 4am with all the lights out
with the absolute conviction
that I am entirely worthless.

I know **** well
what it feels like to be unloved.
Does that not make my love
*mean that much more?

#love #heartbreak #sad #depression #life #hurt #personal

Jon Shierling Sep 2015

After You

I don't know if I'll ever be happier
than when you fell asleep in my arms.

I don't know if I'll ever be more lost
than when I wake without you.

I don't know if I did wrong
to say so much and do so little.

I don't know if perhaps I wanted
more than was allowed.

I don't know if you told the truth
or if I merely lied to myself.

I don't know what this is now,
only that things are different now,
after you.

Jon Shierling Sep 2015

If Only Words

If only words had the power to rip the lies from your mouth,
or pull my heart out of the purse you dropped at my feet;
one swift motion and a heave, liquid dinner all over
grass and empty beer cans.

The stars still shone as I tried to hold your hair back,
the Earth kept spinning around the Sun,
that last night I loved you, out behind the wal-mart.

But that was a long time ago baby, ancient history
to people like you and me.

Too little and too late for me to say I'm sorry
that keeping it casual just isn't in me.

When you told me you had a thing for ****** up people
I guess I already knew, or wanted to believe,
that I was too ****** up for you.

You don't know how good you were at making me
your Quasi Modo, but you said everything right,
just enough for doubt, just enough for the hook.