Get cast in a movie playing a ghost
2.  Be ignored by all your family, friends, and those who know you
3. Put a sheet over your head, wander about, and moan a lot
4. Cover your face with flour, cold cream, or white makeup and say "BOO!"
5. Die, then come back from the dead ( but not as a vampire or zombie).
6. Haunt somebody
7. Haunt a house
8. I forget #8....  You forget so much when you have become a ghost

who would be a holy terror on social media:
snapping selfies (often lying under the table - poor thing!),
commenting on comments on comments in the public forum,
"You ignorant cockalorum...!
     pennies for your thoughts bought my ***** shots."

She'd be caustic, sarcastic, bitter,
abrasive, abusive on Twitter:
"As regards your latest verse, the previous one was worse."
"I am hosting a social soirée...I'd rather you not be there...
   Are there evenings you'll be away?
"I appreciated your latest post
  Re: animal rights to equal pay.
...My bi-racial guide dog has it hard,
    being physically challenged,
      female,
        and gay."



Okay.  We know you are liberal and politically correct.  Now unplug, put down your I-phone, get up off your *** and step away from the mirror.
Go out into the world.  March.  Volunteer. Donate food or clothing.
Help somebody for Christ's sake.  You self-obsessed narcissist.

I loathe them with all of my heart.

Tell me I am everything you ever wanted
...Some archetypal epitome
...an ideal.
Tell me of your love for me in extravagant language
...Make me blush.
Cause me to shiver with delight.
Tell me I am your proverbial world, moon, and stars...

Lie to me.
Tell me you like me.

Wait.
And wait.
And wait a month and then another month...
His Royal Importance will deign to see you now
...for a brief moment or two
....And you will politely listen to him go on and on about himself
     feigning interest
     'til you are dismissed
      grateful for the audience before His Wonderfulness.

His Imperial Pretentiousness is available to put you in your place...
to make you feel small
and unnecessary
and superfluous
and taken for granted.

Make your humblest obeisance before him when entering his August Presence.    
Kiss his ring as if it were his busy  behind,
wondering all the while why you remain so stupidly devoted.

Lamb of God, my ears are thirsting for the healing Word.
Patient listening carefully Thy voice is not yet heard
amidst the world's cacaphony
and all competing dins.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, mercy, please forgive my sins.

I'd like to @$&? your %#&$@!?@**
(if you would permit...)
Then you could *%#+! my &@$!?
Maybe it would fit.