She's dark, yet
moonlight glows
inside her soft-eyes
& despite her
tragic-aura,
I still want
her blackness,
to taste her magic,
to kiss
the devil inside her.

I.      My misty April dream subsides
           and she's still there.
         A vision with what's real collides;
            a fancy caught me unaware

II.     I dreamt
            of secrets caught in ruby lips
            riddles on her fingertips
        
III.    I wonder
            if I'm one of countless blips
            on her radar full of ships

IV.    I dreamt
            that I am more.

3 am and I'm wide awake
Tossing and turning in a bed too big
To soothe my lonely soul.
And as my mind wanders to you
And your arms around me
I begin to wonder if it's really you
I miss....
Or just being held.

Arms tight,
grabbing fistfuls of t-shirt,
your mascara wet on his shoulder.
This is the hug you give
when something is falling apart.

This is the hug you give your ex boyfriend
when you promise you will still be there for him,
this is the hug you give him
when he wishes to stop existing,
this is the hug you give him
when you tell him you love him,
this is the hug you give him
when he doesn't believe you,

these embraces will break your heart,
they will make your ribs curl in on themselves,
they are apologies for the harm you have caused,
they are guilt for the scars you have left,
they are acknowledging that
terrible things happen to beautiful people,
they are the realization that
you are not a beautiful person,
you are a terrible thing.

Nothing has ever broken my heart more
than feeling yours beating
*and knowing you wanted it to stop.