These storms
awaken waters
within
raging with passion
that never
Quits
I'll take you
hold you
love you
caress you
mock you
shake you
laugh at you
and dance with you
Then
Leave.
Time is but
exploration of eons
years happen in
instances
And moments can last
forever
We are
dream walkers
earth shakers
ocean talkers
Parting seas of insecurities
Doubts painting
histories
we can choose
not to live out.
each breath
a choice
of freedom
each breath new and
unexplained
retain this wonder
and wander
alone
to your expansive hearts content
For lessons
in pine trees dripping emerald tears
on peaks each footstep brings closer,
Are what build you strong.
Roots of soul
working through your veins
the framing to become
anything
and everything
You are.

My brother is the musky smell of woodsmoke.

My sister is a dreamcatcher dancing in the wind. Following every gust of excitment, every breath of desire; she collects passerbys dreams and leaves sunlight in her wake.

I am infinite
Powerful, commanding soul movement
Floods my system
Limbs lightened
My senses, reborn.
Look at this beauty
I have created
Coals of strength
Burn hot in my heart
Giving courage to my spirit
Giving voice to my soul
This strength and power are mine
I am worthy
I am a goddess
I know what I want, what I need.
I can communicate
Touch
My deepest feelings
Fear, running cold and quick like an adder
Anger, burning hot and furious
an under skin fire
Power
Yielding, bending and holding my infinite being
I am power
I am change
I am love
I am healing
I.
Am.
Infinite.

I still miss you
Even though I know I shouldn't
Your smile haunts me
Every time I turn the radio on

My brother asked me why
Some hours late after work
I sit in the cooling car, stars scattered like starbursts above
and let soft notes
Drift out from the cracks in the
Frame and I do not tell him
It is because I find you
In late night songs played dull and lonely
I find you in the drifting melodies
That hold my heavy head
And heart space where the beats echo
Faintly because there is only
Emptiness left
I find you in lyrics written by artists who have been broken in the same way
Only into different pieces.
I do not tell him it is my moment of weakness
Of loss
Of anger
Of hurt

I do not tell him
It is my way of letting you go
Each tear a memory released
Each note a whispered kiss blown
To the autumn wind
Each verse the broken promises turned to dust for the shadows to eat
Each song my way of moving on

I do not tell him
I just listen until dawn

The silent starry slipper of night
folded us as the quilts folded our confused limbs
feet disembodied, elbows touching
skin kissing everywhere and nowhere
Lips full like the ripe plums of autumn
smiling and taunting as we laughed
I knew.
and I think she did too,
I think she felt the electricity that danced between our beings
coming to a paramount.
I know I did.
I know I had been half planning the way I would reach
Graze her jawbone, the soft skin beneath her ear,
The daring nip of her lobe which would give way to
Whispered sighs as sensual as the silk of the night sky
The release of four years tension.
I planned the way I would hold the soft animal of her body
Wrists captive, legs pinned
Teasing.
I planned to ignite her body as she had mine
with touches that had been oppressed for far
Too.
Long.

What I didn't plan was the stars
so soft, enchanting, secretive
to flip my intestines like coils of grease
to rip free my facade
to allow her eyes
god her eyes.
To see me.
What I didn't plane was soft utterances
Admissions
From her seductive, irresistible lips
that didn't serve to satisfy
but to torture.
What I didn't plan was her thin sheet of denial
of sharp, distracting, self deprecating humor
to fall to unsuppressed truth...
What I didn't plan was to finally
Finally
See her.

I wish you would see
my words are love transmitted through a computer screen
the little semi colons are my fingers
touching your lips
small computerized winks
my breath warming your neck
a line of periods
my unspoken words that capture the stars in your eyes.
I wish the keyboard was your face so that I may
paint my love not onto hard plastic
but the curving lines of your cheeks
and the letters would make up arms for you to settle in
rather then a sentence on a blinking screen.
We see each other so briefly
and words are lost to signatures scripted into the hard drive
hearts in place of arms
and emoticons in place of smiles.
I miss you.
I miss the real you even though I am "in touch" most of the time
There are so many ways to love
and through a computer is not one of them.
Even as your heat fills my room and your arms slide around me
late at night
it is only after the music
and then your gone before the light
hits my pillow and I am left with a small
computerized heart
flashing insistently from my phone
and once again
my relationship is with the computer screen.

I want to fall into the sky so I may swim with the stars

My ribs
Are glass shards drifting underneath my skin.
Translucent bones nipping at my nerves
I feel
Cold.
White light pulls dimensions apart
And there are only blades left.
Soft
Green
They grow diligently from beneath my
Glass ribs
Rubrics of emerald glittering dully
I am recreated
Caskets opening to allow
Fresh blood to pump through
Soft matter injected
And my heart begins beating
Again.
9.7
I am the official AI.

To dance is to put poetry into movement

We are grasping at words hidden beyond this wall of misunderstanding
Misconceptions and harsh observations become the crux for our downfall
and your words lash against me as sharp and stinging as willow branches running.
So much pain behind the eyes which watch mine with a distant ache
and I cannot stop.
If my happiness is your hatred how can we go on?
How can we proceed with truth as our mat, honesty our flying carpet and love the wind that buoys our stiff limbs.
My love is tied to the fresh peaks coalesced in my heart as the atoms of my survival and their laughter is written in the snowbanks we fall upon, the gravel spat back from beneath our hot tires racing down old overgrown trails, the burning heat of flint and steel fires gasping in the breeze
we are so different.
my honesty you call selfishness.
We are both new developing beings with the world open to us in every which way.
we cannot hold eachother to what we used to be and your accusing glare grates on my worn nerves and
I cannot stop.
I cannot stop hurting you with my happiness because it is found in trees, wind, rocks, gurgling river beds
places you cannot contend with
I know you hate it.
and maybe we are better off apart
maybe we need space to breathe
to learn how we are as individuals
who we are.
I will still love you.
a small part of me will always love you
but perhaps this is the crossroad
for our relationship
perhaps I will go left
and you will go right.
It will not be nice
It will not be clean or kind
But it will be healthy
and we will grow
and find loves that lift our wings
not dampen them..

Charcoal grey lines of your lashes
Fill my vision as laughter expands like bubbles beneath my
Ribcage.
liquid happiness curls down the vains lining your arms as you pluck
my heart strings one by one with familiar palms
Familiar fingers covered in charcoal.
The dust of longing clinging to our frames
as we curl in eachothers warmth
hidden beneath the silky darkness of the distant sky
stars which laugh distantly at our foolish words.
words that fall as charcoal does
soft, light, all consuming in its subtly
coating the whispered phrases in a filmy darkness.
Even as our hearts beat and our breaths become one it is
somewhow perfectly dissonant in its innocence.
I am not innocent.
The draw you hold on my body is unshakable
unspeakable in its strength  and for years the faded pictures have wrinkled
have crumbled gently at the edges
soft strokes of light dust marring the surface
but it is still beautiful
you are still beautiful.
Black as charcoal
the love I feel for you
stains my heart.
And I have found years later
lovers later
I cannot let you go.

Hushed mist collects
Under palm fronds enveloped in the night melody
Consisting of crickets, far off moters and the warm heavy sound of contentment.
Orange lights flicker throigh the overgrown trees
Whom drape themselves lovingly over old RVs and quaint trailers.
Those of which house old souls
Content and humoured by their journey through this unexplained world.
And as I sit
Skin already warm from the midnight heat
the crickets my only companions
I wonder if my contentment will measure to these mischievious souls
When I near the end of my journey.
For these moments
Small pleasures
Unexpected uncalled for experiences
Amount to a life worth a thousand laughs.
And what is life?
but laughter light and love

I watch the minutes
Slip into silence
As the river thunders dull
Outside my open window
Cracked wide a mirror for my heart
The pieces which you care for subtly
Murmer in the late night breeze
Your lips painting pictures for my body to fill in
You are lovely
Lively, you rush through my veins like the river
Dull to all except me
I can feel you deep in my bones
Your soul kissing mine under wide open skies and I am lost in the adventures found in your horizons
And all I want
Is a simple call
But instead I watch the minutes
Slip into silence
And the memory of your touch grows fainter
Dull
Like the river roaring
Outside my window
And all I want is to tell you
i love you
And you will be mine
At least in my mind
Forever
Even as your  touches grow fainter
And your body colder
Farther from my heat
i love you
i love you even as the minutes
Slip into silence
i love you even though
You're gone

No. I do not want to write my essay
I cannot sit for the third night
of the ninth day
of the bizillionth hour
and stare at a blank screen
at the cursor blinking my empty brain back at me
I do not want to attempt to sound intelligent
Suave and Eloquent
like the snake of a book I am trying to tame.
No. I do not want to write my essay
I would much rather sit
wrapped in the warmest quilt I can find
with the hottest cup of homemade chai
and drink up all the poetry I can.
Feel the wonderful
free musical language roll around in my brain
Roll off my ******* beautiful cascade of
melodious letters.
Research Pablo Neruda instead of Joseph Conrad
And bathe in ryhmes instead of lectures.
No. I do not want to write my essay.
Even though 3000 words seem minor
Are minor
I am having a rather difficult time at this point.
My procrasination is getting the better of me
and I would rather write about writing my essay
then actually write it

Life
Snapshot moment
Love, laughter
Hidden whisky shots under silent
stars
Bare foot dancing on piano notes
cascading down from the roaring
sky
eyes, capturing mine in a rosy glow
of friendship, hardwood cool
against bare theighs
Fingers strong, firm, warm around mine
on my side, my leg, pulling warmth to the surface of cool skin
skin, knuckles grazing ribs
teeth nipping gently
quietly as she continued to talk
your kisses on my knuckles
soft, teasing tongue
Body heat pulsing under
bursting stars comets falling
into your eyes
leaning over me, pinning me
almost kissing me
cradling chin, cradling face, cradling body, cradling soul
Your heat, your lips soft
hair, fingers tangled in kitten hair
that brushes my lips, my lips
against neck
I couldn't help
my searching mouth, whispers confessions, want, desire, adventure, freedom, laughter
Life.

Poetry is what keeps me up late at night

The smoke curled into the glittering sky,
Grey fingers that blurred the stars, teasing their edges.
He was beautiful as he leaned his head against the weathered bark,
His tousled dark hair a crown of shadows.
Calloused fingers whispered a history of steel strings
As they lazily twirl a joint from tip to thumb.
The paper kissing his lips
He inhaled
The smoldering orange highlighting his cheek bones
sparking off his feline eyes.
With a slow grin he turned his gaze to the night sky
Smoke seeping from his teeth to curl up
To be snagged by the crisp night breeze.
Russet skin, painted with the silver of the moons glow
Eyes dark, flashing with the stars cool brightness
He resembled my every dream of a dark prince.
His lazy stance,
His sensual lips forming an O to release frothy rings that danced
In the pale darkness.
He was the epidemy of **** and a rush of want flooded my veins
The electricity in my limbs
jumping towards him.
My heart caught and I stumbled under the rush of fire
Looking quickly away, red stained my ****** cheeks and
His husky laugh filled the night.

Follow that burning you feel in your bones. That tingle of pure fire running through your veins
Ignite your soul.
there is so much I would love
to see

These trees
wrap their arms around my blossoming soul; my true home found in the purest laughter of the wind
and the dancing call of the creek

I am you and you are me

                                 we are everything

To be anything. Moment. Living present to recieve our presence. You are only ever here. Now. Embrace the breath found in these rolling forests
our glittering banks
Embrace your breath.

We are freedom. Living simply, living peacfully. We are love. Embrace this moment always.

The sun brushes kisses upon my upraised face
bringing warmth to my soul
opening in delicious appreciation of the wonderful heat that he is.
Everyday. bestowing kisses and asking nothing in return.
What can be more beautiful
then that?

Take this body. Release tension. Breath deep. Breathe to remind. You are anything. Everything. Take your body and live in your truth. Imagine if you did, how free you would be!

My soul is expanding, wide open hugging the earth in all her glory. So diverse, so intricate, so simple. She is everywhere. Fingers of wind running through my hair, salty kisses of the ocean, brushing my toes. The burbling laugh of mountain streams hopping rocks in their journey of release.
There is no search. There is only now, and the enjoyment of the chickadee calling goodmorning to the toes of sun running between the cedar trunks. There is only now. Breath.

I am you and you are me.

                          **we are everything

I'm shattered
To be selfless
To be respectful
To give you freedom
I've shattered us.
This tearing pain
Rips my heart to shreds
And the child inside me yells to bring you back
But I can't.
These fingers clutched
Too tight for too long
No matter how painful and wrong this seems
It's needed.
I love you as the ocean loves to move
With a depth that seeps into my bones because you are pure magic
bliss and love.
Why must my heart want to wander so?!
To keep you and my integrity too
Is a battle already lost
We both know you deserve full complete love
And my being stutters at the idea of forever because somewhere,
threads of discovery are calling
And to not heed them would be lying.
But,
I'm still trying
To figure out why my heart is telling me to lose you
when losing you feels like dying.

When words mean nothing
and ink bleeds dry
I find myself stripped
empty though open
pulsating love slipping through my fingertips
as my heart bursts once again.
My thirsting soul cries
soundlessly
     sinking
my aching body into sapphire
depths
I am hidden behind walls of mistruths
dishonest dissonant notes
    fill my veins
as he strokes my face
   beneath the bursting
      stars.
Lips mere inches from mine although
mine belong to another
though I crave his
    breath
         tongue
               teeth
i am stumbling into vast oceans
of emotion
and i'm setting fire to the waves.

Salty kisses trace their beauty down tired cheeks
Songs split with the heartache of too much love
And my palms are empty
I reach for some sort of conclusion
Some suggestion as to where my bandaged heart
May warily stumble
I am lost.
In eyes the colour of chocolate milk and lashes reminiscent of licorice
I am lost
In eyes the warm dawn blue of glacial landscapes
Laughing with years of happiness crinkling their edges
I am lost.
My exhausted heart struggles to hold scattered emotions
That scud gently across the surface of reality
Disturbing the dark waters of my soul
And crying to the wanderlust in my veins
They speak to me
The peaks jagged in the brilliance of dawn
Stand majesticly
Tall, demanding, inviting me into their surreality
And i am lost
The harsh white glint of sunshine on frozen snow captures the notes trapped in my fingertips
And i want to sing
I want to dance under the expanse of life spread before my stunned eyes
Kiss the drops that rain down on young hearts in love
with life
I want to sing to the glistening stars
Wheeling above our awestruck heads
Breaths
intermingled in a cold condensation before released to the darkness
such a profound feeling of connection
my heart is full
my palms empty
and my cheeks salty
Love found in freedom along the lines of his arms
which raise in admiration of the wild beauty we are
submerged in
I am in heaven
If it were made of cold stars, singing snow, soft breaths, unexpected laughs and an infinity of limbs which reach for eachother
Strings of freedom plucked to the symphony of the ranges
that cradle our bodies
Bodies heavy with the honesty caught in these peaks i let a tear cascade down my cheek
Because I am lost
Between chocolate warmth and glacial ecstasy
Both of which catch my swollen heart with hands meant
To cradle and breath
The mountain air that crisply reflects our tired limbs
The hoarse crack of the whisky jack nipping scraps from
frivilous fun
A spoon, glinting in the alpine spring sunset as his laughter
lightens my soul and sets free my wings.
We are so perfect
ly unperfect
A silly meandering giggle permeates our friendship
But eyes
Like the warm dawn blue of a glacial landscape meet the salty depths of my soul
and look right in
Profound understanding, contentment caught in the smile in his eyes
the light touches of my foot
hands red from the cabin heat
set free the smile trapped in my shoulders
And i am whole
He is more to me than these limbs are to my torso
He is my legs which run down the snowy hill
The stomache i slide on as we glide down penguin slopes
The fingers i use to ink down my indecision on scrap paper found in the lines of my heart.
He knows how much I care
He asked "do you love him?"
a crack in his  voice
his shoulders hunched with the weight of my emotional betrayal
I could not answer
My lips formed
Yes
I care for him. I may even love him.
But he is my best friend
My sword fighter, my rock scrambler, my running through the dark blindly spinning underneath the wheeling stars for the pure hell of it lover
He is the raw moonlight dancing through the clouds
kissing the branches with laughing lips
He is lightness.
And I am lost.
I am alone
And so i should be on this journey to freedom
Buf he makes me feel as if i belong
My mind is a canvas
These mountains my muse
and he is my paintbrush
Streaking sunset hues across my landscape
And I cannot decide.
So i release and let this mountain become my guide

My body is accustomed now to your absence
Fingers no longer reaching across rumpled blankets for warmth
That is no longer mine.
My mind is accustomed to your absence
Thoughts moving beyond the future we built
Finally freeing me to dare to dream where you are not
Daring me to build a life, grasp opportunities
Soley for my own souls fulfillment
no longer tied to yours
But still, my heart is not accustomed
I drift into the dream world, content
Only to find your face dancing through the interwoven tapestry of my subconscious self
I wake to find your laugh imprinted on the underside of my lids
And my heart betrays me with its subtle ache
Despite these nighttime relapses, I am releasing you slowly
Bit by bit my frozen fingers are pried off of memories too sweet to forget
Forced to drop expectations I built in your fading words
I am learning the anger that rides beside the sadness
Is only temporary blindness to the wisdom of love you brought me
The wild dance of freedom you injected in my veins
The otherworldly rush of adrenalin through my body
I am learning I have the right to be angry but also
that is is too powerful
an emotion to
waste on you
You who does not want any part of my erratic heart
This is the simple knowledge that is allowing me to shed this skin
you've left me drowning in
and to breathe free air
once again.

Sometimes
life seems like a series of repairs
A broken binding
a fractured wrist
a cracked heart.
My repair kit is always open.
From spare screws needed on touring days
where the sun beats down
a headache my eyes can't hide from
To ratchet straps teasing my hands into frustration
by their inablity to work right.
To the blind faith I hand away my love with
that usually leaves my lips smarting and my heart fractured
just a little bit more.
Repairs **** sometimes.
They **** even more then when things completely shatter.
When things break
there is peace in knowing you cannot do anything to fix it.
Broken bits fall to memory
new things, ideas, materials are assembled
and you are given a fresh start.
In contrast a recurring problem, a repair
is draining on the mind and soul, a constant ache on ones psyche.
A blackhole for my lightheartedness
A wormhole my happiness falls into.
Repairs **** sometimes.
And as I sit here
a ***** driver in one hand, a needle in the other and a airbag of frustration
expanding in my chest
I ponder the worth my projects of "improvement" hold.
How many times do I attempt to fix something that has already failed
countless times before?
When the straps slip no matter how many times I tighten them?
When my board bites my calfs no matter the stiched support I give it?
When my pulse trips despite the words spoken to end it..
Repairs **** sometimes.
And if I ever come across something I cannot fix
I will break it.
Just so I will never have to look at the problem again.

Come, fly with me
my soul cannot be still
with your alpine eyes watching me
and your smile
filling my veins
with bubbles of ecstasy

I have lost
Breath
In moments pushed too fast
Too far
The rush caught me in its arms
And In it I have lost
Breath

Aspens tall remind me
of water deep
And coaxing in times when
I could walk strong
with grounded roots spreading
From
My soles into rich deep earth
Remind me
What it is to be one
With this beautiful
Land
Remind me how to
Breathe

The twitch underneath a layer of pink flesh
long golden hairs mimicking the movement of shape
beneath the surface
the stretch of synapses firing to nervous system, to joint, to muscle
the journey
one
little
movement
causes.
The wrinkled edges of cells folding over
sharp delineated veins that chord her arms
tightly coiled ropes of blood
pumping from her troubled heart to her tired mind
all of these motions apart of this amazing
mind blowing vessel called the human body.
The muscles
which cry and scream (either in protest or exultation she can never tell)
as the notes flow from shaken speakers to dancers feet
the long low run through grasses too yellow to be pillaged
past the man with the faded hat and kitten grin
to the bed she lay him in.
the motion of fingers as they slide over rough-hewn skin
Skin that caresses back and Lips.
Lips sliding with trembled precision to sweet
forgotten spots on this amazing vessel
of blood, bone, heat.
The rumble of senses opening
moistening
lips still searching, taking, demanding
of him.
The jagged whispered phrases that were lost to rumpled sheets
and the cold, distant starry sky.
This skin, which aches for him is but a vessel of love
to release and open
Engulf the sensual sensations of lust
that mirrors the silky robe of darkness that wraps their bodies.
Beautiful Bodies.
Skin, blood, bones, heat.
To reveal something sacred
to the both of them.

I want to flirt with the rain.

Ahh the rich sound of spring
Unfurling fresh wings as she whispers
green buds across the
     reaching
           trees.
The sweet soft kiss of the sunlight
nuzzling fresh sprigs of grass
  poking their
      young heads
through the fragrant soil.
She trails her fingers over sparse
  branches, a deep laugh
swallowing the hills, as welcoming
as warm honey
   dripping
       down the trunks.
Ahh the shaking roar of the river
furrowing into mother earth and shivering
    leaves, newborn and streaming
the river releases my breath in
   a gust
joining my neighbors gentle wind chimes, and
the wild dancing
   of the
       treetops.
Evergreens, who's cloaks of white have slipped into
the warm
         rich soil
to aid the bringing of the Spring.
                 Rejoice!
for we are alive to hear the thrushs
humble song
echoe over the breathing land
A sigh of release
as deep winds stir the suffocating
   stillness and I let the days stress
slip away and
       this vibrant
              song courses through
                       my singing veins.
Ahh the bright dancing newborn green
fill me with a happiness I cannot
    name, nor want to
the tips of these aspens, laughing in
     the breeze
        and the running step of wild hearts
                  up unbeaten trails are pure, pure love
gentle drops on sheer rock faces
speak to me in whispered tones
      of connection
             and life.
We are one with this blossoming land
    We are one.

She leaves without a trace of remorse.
Toes dug into course sand
her backpack resembles her heart.
Littered with flags of the countries she's visited
But never been to.
Decorated with key chains she's bought
But never seen before.
Her leathery soles bespeak of her travels
Her eyes of her misery.
Like the ocean devouring the shore
She searches
Pushing away things that under first perception seemed worthless.
Her backpack muffles the screams
Of the caged traveler in her veins
A china ***
filled with crickets.
I watch her taunt limbs cover
Mountaintops and clouds
Exploring everywhere
Yet experiencing nothing.

Blue eyes
Hold mine captive.
Sweet scent of sunshine
Mutes the light traffic as
shadows play in the vibrant green
of the overhead maples.
His laugh
sudden though musical
Fills me with satisfaction
This boy with the blue eyes
and the pondering lips
Harbours a magnetic pull
The north
Which attracts my south
His mind a lacework
Of thoughts thought far too much
Far too often
But always real, always true
which is rare, in any blue eyed boy.