Will it ever change?
Will I walk away;
and not feel lost
Will I ever experience this rush
I watch filling lovers limbs.
Raising them higher than our stratosphere

Will I ever float?

Through a stilted gaze
I look,  kept from emotion
and long to feel.
The waves crashing at their toes
Sandy, passionate love rolls like foam
that kisses the shore with bubbly lips.

Will I ever be kissed like that?

my metel chest warms at her sight
More with hope of what could be
Instead of what would be.
Although my mourning persists
beating against my ribs
Insistant
My chest aches at this sight,
I wish no more harm
Although I do not raise one finger.
I exist to observe
My stilted tin kelidescope twisting and peeling away emotion
and I am allowed to see
but not experience.
Never experience.

You are delicious
A feisty bite of life
with a variety of sweet and spice
And a soul that dances through this chaotic life with hypnotizing abandon.
You are soft
Yielding as a kitten before it's learnt to use it's claws
But not for long
A fiery zest runs under
Your smooth complexion
Pushing and questioning authoritative boundaries
Grounded, you seek the meaning to spirit
The ache in your feet as they try to dance out the beat
In a rhythm mysterious and timeless.
The searching in your veins
That pulled you to faraway places in an effort to find that voice
That was calling.
But this caller is ethereal
Some would say - not real.
You and I both feel
This energy winding through us
Connecting our souls
To moss covered knolls and oceans that stretch for miles.
This energy shoots to the sky
Which is only a threshold to the universe
Where spirit dances freely
Unchained from human beliefs and limits.
You have touched the infinite, my love.
That sparkling desire
To connect and surrender
Is so strong, it's almost
Painful.
If only we are mindful
We can release ourselves to the sublime divine and swim in the unfathomable
With human relationship our trampoline to a higher
Empowerment.

Words form in the dark
Her face
A white smudge
Her lips
A red promise
I'm drawn
Though crimson rains down
drops trembling at the ends of her hair
dripping down her curved shoulders as
she pulls the ribbon free and shivers in the moonlight
A hushed smile tempts her mouth
as her eyes flick up to capture mine
The stained ribbon twisted through her fingers
she beckons me closer.
Leaning in so her head rests just below my chin
Hair as dark as the crows feathers
Tickles my lips.
I laugh.
She blindfolds my eyes
paints my mouth
then between a count of twelve
she is gone.

Stark white light exposes the wounds
Emaciated flesh displayed, she whimpers
and I reach out to comfort.
But if I touch her it will hurt as much as when
the knives first broke her skin.
If I speak it will shame her as much as the jeers of the boys grinning at her
****** exposed body.
So I sit.
Her eyes find mine and I see the beasts of pain raging their war.
The clarity of her struggle bring a nausea to my stomach
an ache to my throat.
I drop my gaze, sweaty hands knotted as they had knotted her ropes
Unwillingly the memory washes over me
what they did to her
how they did it
the blood drains from my face
my writhing insides scream for me to expell all memory of the incident
Lungs struggle for oxygen and I choke out a gasp
making a soft noise in her throat
she reaches out, laces her hand in mine
stilling my trembling fingers.
I meet her gaze and see a tired affection
soothing the beasts
And she is the one comforting me.

If there was ever a time to fall in love
This is it
If I could explain why you
Are my definition of beauty
And that even as I pretend not to care your smile haunts me as it haunts the woods I walk in
I would.
I would argue that you are my sun
The warm droplets of rain
The whisteling wind
And your fingers paint silver lines
Into shivering aspen leaves.
The lines I love so much.
Your love haunts me in delicious tingles that
Splinter through my veins
It haunts me in the form of
butterflies that lift  my cheeks and when your lips kiss the air
Wild notes spill from your soul...
I love you more then I can say.
But
You terrify me
For years I have ran because your brilliance makes me doubt I could fall for any other human
I believe the words that collect around us
Are a cacoon of correctness
And your arms were made to hold mine
Everything screams how perfect
We are for eachother.
How wrong and perfect we are.
I want to apologize
If I sound like an idiot
It is merely because I am that grade six girl running to the bathroom to hide
Because her crush just walked into the classroom.
I am that love song played on repeat
That everyone hates because it's cheesy as ****
But still true
I've loved you since the first time we met.
And you are a star
With so many galaxies to explore
I don't want to limit you to just one.
So the deep green moss
Soaks up
My tears as I rejoice
In our friendship that I have tested
More then once.
I pray you will forgive my needy heart and disregard my unruly love
Because in the hidden parts of my body
I know you don't love me.
And I cannot
Do
Anything.
Except retain my dignity.
*goodbye