I will never get used to how easily
People come and go
Transient
Never meant
To be held on to

I'll never get used to
Thinking of others
In such a fleeting manner
How you can boil a whole person
Down to a few choice encounters

I was never one for reading the abridged copy

I don’t like that I’ve started measuring my time
In terms of days that I see you
And days that I don’t

How did I let myself
Become so invested
In someone who doesn’t even know
That I hear their voice in every song
And see their face in every dream

My mom says
That my room is a mess
Because I don't respect her
But honestly it's because
I don't respect myself

I'm writing
Partially because it's somewhat cathartic
Mostly because I'm afraid to go to sleep
I'm afraid of the demons that rise
Once I rid myself of all distractions
I'm afraid of the false hopes
That I might conjure in my dreams
I'm afraid that this is just one more
In a never ending parade of nights alone
Keenly aware of the empty space
In which another person would comfortably fit
But won't tonight
And maybe never will

I shouldn't be selfish
It seems like you need me
Just as much as I need you right now
But I can't seem to make myself
Knock down the barriers I've built
To let you in
I don't want to leave you in the rain
But the truth is
My roof is leaking
And it's just as wet inside
I keep peering at you through the fogged up window
Our eyes will meet for a second
And then I'll lose you in the seemingly endless haze
This storm has been going on for years
And for the longest time
When I would look outside
I would see nothing
Nothing but the rain
Now your eyes beckon to me
But I no longer remember where the door is
I'll stare through this window
Until you smash through it with a stone
Or until you turn away
And disappear into the woods
And leave me alone once again