What verses are these,
Not worthy of thee...

Lost in words that
Would not let me be

In phantom misery
I chase this allegory
To chance upon your grace,
Oh, that I would trace
The now familiar,
Unfamiliarity
And stumble
Into that I mumble

For in your rhyme
No rhythm ever broken
Brand the mark,
In hidden cost
So much confusion
In this unholy fusion

What hast thou done?
Why push the quill,
In secret shadow?

I can not utter one more syllable
I can’t construct another phrase
But let me see ,the final draft
In your benevolent hand
Create a masterpiece, divine.....

There’s plenty more
Inside your core
Words flow like river,
Keep me whole

For no mask can hide
Nor lies, deny
Thou art,
The master of thine art

And in thee resides the words
Beating in thy heart
Love rages...
Thou art the soul of the ages!

(There are those who claim that the works attributed to William Shakespeare were actually written by Edward de Vere).

The flaming sun is
About to be extinguished
And the evening star
Will rise, to take its place

Like the cool gentle winds
Of the night sky
Your languid smile
Hush the lonely tears
Into a lullaby
Singing of gallantry and
Bravery
In battlefields where
You excel above all others...

You are not afraid,
Death has no power over you..
What you are made of,
many men only dream to possess
kindness in strength
compassion in faith,
courage that knows no bounds...
the very definition of a soldier
like no other...

it is not in your victory alone
that you are revered
it is your quiet conduct
of playing fair
and your innocence in
atrocities perpetrated
by the monsters around you...
but you did not capitulate
you are unblemished till your end

sweet hero ,gentle general
i lay a wreath of promise
on your grave...
a promise of remembrance
till the day i cease to be..
you will always be remembered..
as a loving husband,
a caring father...
and a soldier’s soldier
a man of principles
and the light of the men you
led in battle ,
the man they know
as their general in the sun...

Carnival roses bloom late
In early winter
A strange cloud of passion
2 strangers delight
Champagne of gold
Showers like turbulent rain
An adventure that whispers loudly
Of midnight joys

Desires, smoldering in the eyes
Delivered like shock waves
To the bodies,
Smash into souls
Like carnal sighs

With a hint of a tempting smile,
This, I dare say,
Once upon a time
I have met a tall, fair prince of Sweden
And I led him to the wild side
Of the garden of eden

My beloved commanded clouds
With his wings spread wide
Beneath the sun
In his silent rapture he ran
Rings around the moon
With speed unheard of
In altitudes untested
He was the uncontested
Prince of the blue skies

My beloved’s eyes
Reflect the yellow horizon
At the end of the ocean wall
He was fearless in his quest
He was a cut above the rest
His daring knew no boundaries
He had no fear of the unknown
Way out yonder ,there he flew
Where no other ‘s ever been before

My beloved’s ways up in the
Air was never wayward
There among the white formations
He was unsurpassed
A venerable hero of his generation
He had set his mark so steady
In the echoes of history
And though his life upon the ground
Was less than perfect
Up there,  he was without equal
And this is how
He’d like to be remembered
For he carved his name
on the soft cotton clouds
And though his magic chariot
Now lies majestically still,
he is truly,
ever truly
the beloved son of
the great big blue skies

I am myself in shadows
Forsaking the dawn
I am myself in darkness
Among a crowd of one
A solitude of plenty…
I am the words to
A rounded song,
A song to a husky voice
A voice to an empty silence
That I can not hear…
What do I fear?

This magnitude of life,
I wish that it had passed
Me by…
If I had been an ordinary lad,
Then maybe I won’t be so sad.
my end would not have been
So bad,
In my listless ,senseless compulsions
Brewed an endless stream
Of addiction,
Far worst than I could ever have
Imagined, in all the years
That I have survived..
What do I fear?

One happy thought,
Just one happy thought
I had none..
All is gone…
Alone
Louder, and louder
The deafening nothingness
Leaves me alone
Do not leave me alone…

Do you fear me?
Do you fear what I had become?
I had everything
That is nothing
Of true value
But everyone has a price
So I must pay the price
Of my folly..
My castle is my prison
An asylum for my kingdom

Long, long time ago
I used to know a different man
But he was gone before
I could remember his name….

Mary Ann of the morning
with your bright hair
flowing in the wind
If I stand still, long enough
I can see your eyes moving
and your fingers dancing
It's, as if you never left....
this maze of sorrow
we all call our world,

Is that your voice I hear?
filled with the joys of youth
and the innocence of goodness
I miss your smile
and I am reversing time
in a perpetually slow motion manner
denying and not obeying
the circumstances of fate

Once again I witness,
the sunlight bathing the
features of your ever-beautiful face
How I wish for these sacred moments
to last forever
so we can share both conversation and coffee
in the early hours of a delightful dawn
with the knowledge that there is
safety in hope
a life fulfilled with unconditional love
that grows wildly like the
courageous flowers of the forest
and the mountain tops glazed
with the whiteness of snow,
dear Mary Ann of the morning....

Her name is Catherine Eddowes
and it rhymes with meadows
of green fields and moon's shadows
but in the street she wallows
in the darkened danger that swallows
through the London fog that follows
her every movement and her sorrows

Oh Catherine, my dearest
come to call in nights severest
of pain and pleasure without rest
strike you like a luckless jest
you are who you are, that's your best

I am looking at you and memorizing
your ****** features that are tantalizing
I do not hear if you are coming or going
But I never want to hear you crying

Her name is Catherine and pray,
do not forget
She is far away now,
much to my regret
I miss her but
I must not be upset

Someday ,perhaps, she'll
grace me with her presence
she'll look at me with no pretense
she will show me emotions intense
I'll smell her perfume like
fragrant incense

Hello and goodbye,
dear Catherine Eddowes..
a name that rhymes with meadows

my Lord speaks through
those that do not have voices
He sees through those
who do not have eyes
He needs no words to convey
His meaning
He is all music and movements
and mathematical equations
mercy tempered with justice
that is what He is
passion and compassion
reigning in His heart
His beauty is indescribable
He is the dark matter that
holds the universe in place,
though unseen
the stars and moons and suns
and planets
give homage to the One
who made us all
And ,though we do not
hear His voice
we feel him everyday
and everywhere
through Mother Nature
through the love
that bears His grace
through His spirit
that lives among the innocents
and the light from the sun
that shines on all our faces

my Lord speaketh and I hear
not through my ears
but through my mind
in His gentle telepathy
of faith and peace
and His wonders
that never cease.

There are no words
But I have to utilize words,
For I don’t know any other way
To tell you what I see
Inside my mind
When my imaginations fly
Me in different directions,
Everywhere……

The order of the Universe
Is not an accident,
It is a design
Every molecule, every atom,
Every matter, anti matter and dark matter,
Every planet, moon, sun and star,
Every particle,
Has a purpose and a proper place
There is order even in chaos
For the Universe is God’s playground
And the scientists , His messengers
Helping us to understand as much
As we could, in our limited
Mental resources
The vastness and magnificence of it all…

Children of my heart,
You were once pieces of stars
Your forms today involved
Billions of years of
Revolutionary evolution
And so you belong, not only
Here on earth
Which is the place of your birth
But you are also of the stars
As God created you through
The harmony of His Universe…

Travel with me ,therefore,
And in our mind’s eyes
Let us walk gallantly through space
There, truly, we can trace our origins
For God’s face ,too, resides there…
In the stars…

Words can not describe but
Words are necessary
And they are flowing from
My lips now…
For all the beauty that I see and I feel
I see and I feel in you,
Thank God for children
And thank God,
For the Order of the Universe……

magnificent warrior
weary king,
the day is closing
night birds no longer sing
your eyes begin to dispose
tears of wasted forlorn.....
silence is your weapon
the only companion that you seek

I don't know
what goes on in your mind
in the twilight of afternoon
but I see your movements
in slow motion
and the fluid grace
that accompanied your youth
..............like a shadow dancer

you were beautiful beyond belief
a troubadour of the gods
climbing each staircase
towards heaven
nearer to the sky of oblivion

in different languages
we say our pieces
in different moods
our moments have arrived
and now I am
thinking of you
and seeing you in a different view
like a stolen reality
in My sea of imaginations

tell me your tales
and break that code of silence
I know there is something
deeper in your heart
that matches....
the beauty of your face

let me sit with you
in this twilight of afternoon
let me touch your being
and drink from your lips
for in my soul I know
that it could be so exciting
with you and your stories
of long ago....

warm English eyes
a provocative smile,

Long limbs of fragile masculine beauty
touch my heart
and reach my mind
in depths of boundless measures

technicolor dreams
of sylvan delight
satin rains in sheets of
melancholy blue
whispers of lines
on a filtered silver screen
love know the actor
in a pious sensual sight
many ,many moods govern him
and many more have sought him
but illusions mask reality
and the truth just slips away
in private meditation
undisturbed

have i loved in substitution
knoweth not ,in ignorance have pledged
this mountain of emotions
this ever growing presence
out of control
yet slowly subsiding
in the noon of midnight
in the morning of evening

here i love without caution
loving an image with
a poet's imagination
loving his English eyes, his smile
and his sacred power to convey
in animated gestures
in artistry divine
his is the face my memory
would not abandon
for him are these words
and these words have become
his soul on my paper
his fire on my pen....

Beloved brother
My comrade, my mentor
You see so much in me
That I do not see
Within myself
And you believed
In me when no one
Ever did,
When the road was rough
And the tunnel long
And arduous…
Dark, dense, humid
You taught me the power
Of love and unity
You showed me the tenderness
Of compassion
You made me a brave warrior
Trekking the thorny path
Being unafraid to fail,
To succeed, in the final analysis
There is a flower of hope in your eyes
In your heart there can never be lies
I can have no better friend than you
No better champion than you
Knight in shining armor,
When the days seem endless
And the nights, raven black
Together we weathered the storm
Together we braved the unrelenting
Torrents of rain, in this world war
Called life
There are no words to thank you
And as a poet
I now stand without words
For you are the words to this poem
You are the lyric of my songs
as we travel towards the end,
Of our hard won race,
As we lie below the grasses,
Beside our revered ancestors,
It will be an honor
To mark my tombstone
That I was she who had
A beloved brother
A comrade
A mentor
And  the most precious
Gift of a friend
Called
My beloved brother

We find ourselves
in this unusual scenario
Neither in love
nor infatuated
We revel in this
Bizarre affair
That both delights
And consumes us
We are not close
In the strictest
Sense of the word
But we are closer
In thoughts and
In feelings
Though far apart
The distance is
No matter
Nothing will stop
Us in the games
We choose to play......
Words, actions,
Moans and sighs...
Like masks hiding
Our faces
In a grand pretense.......

For us there is no past tense
We exist for the purpose
Of our pleasure...
Present and future
Merge and are enmeshed
It cost us nothing
And we gain nothing
Except knowing each other
And hoping that someday...
Somehow...
The echoes of our voices
Bring us together in one
Place
One time....
And this time...
Play the game for real...

tell time to stop
the tick of the clock
no sooner said of
words unspoken
a breath of tears cascading from within
if love be for a moment tolerant
then i can spend the hours wisely
into fantasy come running
alive with never a trace
of doubt...
but.....what is done is done
and what is now-
lost forever
such is a man's fate
in a short span of time
mere mortals fading
in hopeless shadows
blending in obscure background
a foreground of sorrow
and shame
i had my time to live and love
and so goes, i'll have
my time to die...

Standing alone in the rain
I look at all my pain
My life has gone through middle age
And I feel I am in a cage

Your music came to me one day,
The high pitched sounds along the way,
Soothing my soul in the words that you say
I relinquish my sorrows where I may

I have loved you all these years
And the echo of your voice I hear,
Songs of sensuality, unclear
Passionate verses without fear

I have lusted for you all this time
Making love to you in rhythm and rhyme
In my fantasies ,your lyrics are a chime
Your notes ,the dearest pantomime

You are mine but never mine
You were a star ,way too far
Down below and oh so low
I lie alone ,in motions of slow

You are human too,
You know agony as well,
Bled like mortals
Fell like mortals
Aged like all of us
Changed like all of us

Yet, to me,
You will always
Be the same
With your golden
Hair, flowing in the wind
As you crooned and cooed
Your long tall frame
Blending with the bars
Of the drums , the bass
and lead guitar
Your body is my altar
Your voice, my vision of hope

Nothing lasts forever
Nothing remains the same
Not the singer nor the song
As we move in life along

But in my mind I see only you
Singing the blues in blue
In all colors and hue,
With you, I am young again
With you I am new again

Your voice is my song of hope.

I see you in my rose-colored dreams
Embedded in a fluid glass
Surrounded by musical notes
The sounds of laughter
Reverberating on the halls
The smell of fresh strawberries
Hung heavy in the air
My closed eyes perceived this all
In one unaccustomed glance
On the far corners of
A pleasant memory
That has come to pass….


I feel the force
Of your mighty grace
A supernatural aura
That glows on your face
The flower of beauty
Blooms in your eyes
And the enchantment
Of your smile
Will always hold me enthralled…
I have known no other man
Who has held his reins of power
Over my heart
Like you have..
And how…..

My  fleeting dreams,
They are all I have at hand
Somewhere along the
Folds of my brain
Your image begins to interfere
I am a captive
And I have no strength to let go
I am , in this desperation, grow…
A fondness for your face
That always steals the show

I have no will to resist
I keep within
This burning hope that flames assist
A crowning glory
A maze aglow

Here within my *****
Warm and deep
I count my blessings
In my sleep
For sleep alone can
Make you stay
And so to this
I truly say
From the first moment
That I saw your exquisite face
Lips knew not and words did stray
Bound to wonder, this I pray
No man can be as beautiful
As the sun’s golden ray
Yet, somehow, you managed to be
Far more stunning than
A tranquil sunset in Manila Bay.

I  speak your name
I touch you
from the cold you emerge
have I known you?
has it come to the point
where hearts must bleed
before they sing?
I can not believe
that I have loved you
for so long
and yet not see
what went wrong along the way
that the door between us
just snapped shut

have you suffered
cruelties that I
did not forsee?
and with a heavy load
that wanted to unburden itself
I cried....
long ago and far away
I seem to recall
you cradled me in your arms
the feeling stuck
to always haunt my mind
I ache with longing
for your touch
when was it born
this bitterness in our hearts?
why have we nursed it deep within
only to find shadows
climbing on our backs
clawing their way into the
very essence of our togetherness
somehow I believe
you must have loved me too
but that is gone now
and everything is through.....

For the least time
I held your stare
Traveling the distant nowhere
In the outer recesses of space
Brief moments of gaiety
Are but overused
Memories to be replayed
Silenced the night whose
Stillness can be heard
Loud and clear.

For the last time
I embrace the shadows
Hovering about you
Memorizing each trace
Of darkness
Each line and each
Hallow vision
Savoring the few minutes
Of private contact
With your negative image

For the last time,
I thought
I came so very close
To you
Advancing in inches
And inches so near
Conquering the barriers
Of fear
And demolishing the
Brick walls of time
Command now this life
That was lived
In the briefest of happiness

For the first time
Before the dust
Shall blot out
All memories of today
Let the past give way
And the future stay
If only to rectify mistakes
And restore your good name

But life goes on cruelly
And like a theater’s curtains
Must fall
On us all

So for the last time
I said my goodbyes
Remembering your stare
Out of nowhere
Remembering your shadows
And your pain
Never have I felt
Your presence more strongly
As I kissed your shadows to rest
For the very last time……

Run, Gemini child
And run fast
For tragedy is hounding
You in the guise
Of glory
And billing you
For excesses uncontrolled
The end is drawing near….
Though you have no fear,
Must you also have no shame?

Hide, Gemini child
And hide yourself well
Hold still, unmoving
Drop out of sight
And out of mind
For the consequences
Have exacted from you
A high price to pay
A form of revenge
Festering in your unkempt spirit
How could you live
As you have allowed yourself
To lead?

Destroy not your soul
For materials that put their
Patents on you…
Must you go so low?
Can you never go slow?
Downwards is a long
And empty route
It was not the road
That the heavens had
Destined you to take
Though it be the one
You will never, ever forsake…

Be kind dear Gemini child
And go down alone
If you think that you must
Your looks might be lasting
But your heart remains wanting
Let other people move on
And share not
This unnecessary pain
Let time be the judge
Nor excuses be made
For your living the fullest
Through irreverent ways….

Curse of the seasons
Child of the star
Rest but your head
On a pillow of stone
Walls that constrict
From maggots insist
Anaesthetize all emotions
That plagued you in life…

Meet me at Forest Lawn
Where to you I will sing
To wipe all your tears
And sunflowers bring
Moodust on my pocket
And one for the road
Dear Gemini child
Running from cold
Kiss to the fate
All the prophets fortold
Dear Gemini child
So beautiful and so bold
Mine is a love
That time can not fold
Depicted in stories
That shall never be told…

The drugged door
Opened , then shut
Ushered an era
Of pernicious rebellion
A voice that stood up
To stand down
Conquering
And then conquered
In death
Be sleeping
Overdosed
And weeping…

Sing your protests
Vehemently
Hallucinate the dreams
That will never come true…
All your  false hopes
Are trapped in a
Revolving door
That shall never swing back
Nor can ever swing in…

Goodbye rock prince
Sleep well
In your forever slumber
I can still feel your music
And I can still hear your pain…
But so many years have passed now..
Since you’ve made your final bow..

Yet you remain
A misunderstood icon
A tortured soul
A misguided prophet
With a sensual face…
Screaming wildly
And being screamed at
In return

Goodnight my prince
I close the door
And you are gone…
But not really gone,
Your voice will always
Sing those haunted, twisted songs
You interpreted so well…
Selling your soul for a high..
Burying your sorrows where you lie

'Tis the morning
to surpass all mornings...
The faint light of dawn
bathe its whispers on your face,
The beats of your heart
are controlled and deliberate
'Tis a recalcitrant heart
that has a mind of its own...

As you walk the path
that leads to the slow dance
that is your death,
your feet are firm
your eyes, alert
'Tis as if, it is not death
that you come to greet
But the passionate embrace
of someone, so long ago ,
you have loved....

Farewell, you say-
farewell to this world,
this nation and this people...
that cost you both
pleasure and pain

-But no regrets-

This morning, you die
willingly and with
poetry on your lips
"It is done", you say...
'Tis time to rest
Dear hero of mine
Tomorrow, you wake again,
looking towards the blue of the skies
challenging the blazing sunlight
if it can,
to eclipse the very essence of you....

It is still your name that we speak
with reverend sighs
your name that is forever etched
in the soul of our race...

Soulful eyes
Riding on a
Gentle smile
The moon begets
An apostle of doom,
A child that flowers
The light of the sun
Was born for anguish
On a mountain of despair.....

To flee from the wrath
Of fortune
To shield the self
From destruction,
A feeble attempt
A wayward contempt,
What was begun
Can never be undone...

Dancer of desires
Bathe a giant wave
That commands the
Emotions of the sea
The winds announce
The coming of a star,
The hero, the victim
In one enormous heap,
Transforms into a man
Who shall become
The fulfilment
Of a mocking tragedy....

Dancer, dancer
Dance for us all
Show us the outline
Of your graceful figure
Before you go and embrace
The kiss of death
The world will never stop
At your funeral
But you shall be dancing
On your grave

And the tears
In your eyes
Will mean nothing
As the curtains close
On your final performance

The dark demons in my head
Would all proclaim,
The pain is dead
The shot so hard
The price so high
As gawking, ghoulish grins
Come forward to flaunt
The chains emasculating me
In wild, ecliptical regressions
Pressuring my senses
To lie in a calm
That no longer exists

The needles of my peace
Frustrate my confidence, sublime
As i await the restoration of my sanity
The renaissance of my agility
So i squander reality
Like a cyclone
About to unfold
A devastation
This whirling charade goes on
Until the hours
Have long passed their bedtime
The magic of the wasted clowns
Begins....

If i share with you my story
Will you tell a different tale?
For what I am about to say
Would cost my heart
The tears i’ve cried in vain
But i must tell it just the same

Do not close your eyes
Nor cover your ears
If the pretty pictures fade
For there will surely be
Devils where i come from
Within my room
Inside my head

When the magic drugs me
To sleep
Dreams are often dark and deep
Sorry slumbers shattering
A shivering soul
Predestined to meet its end
Where drunken cannibals blend
Into a wretched scenario
Of an afternoon in hell

There is no awakening
Once the reason is shed
There is no truth
To the demons in my head
No truth at all
About what they said
No truth at all
That the pain is really dead

It never was
And never will be...

Once the magic of the
Wasted clowns
Start to begin..

Some souls are seeking
The kingdom that won’t come
To minds their eyes beseeching
The things that can not part
No longer weary
But fast fading forward
Some souls are seeking
The rest that has long gone

But what if a soul
Shall not want bearing
They lesson it is not learning
By wisdom failing
By knowledge misgiving
Into his inner depths
Do fathom the unthinkable

For want of  light
That which can not be sought
For riches scorned
The path that downhill brought
The kingdom bestowed him
A kingship forlorn
Like vultures waiting
For the lifeless flesh

In silent weather
In cold compost
His eyes are shut
His lips are tight
The people from above
In their weary nonchalance
Will never even know
This  poet’s anguish
The torment of his spirit
For pain unmeasured
For hurt ,undefined

Night time received this visitor
In blindfold rage
Sleep now this worn soul
In his forbidden lore.....

Death hides a stranger
Into the *****
Of the night
And like a freon smile
It beckons to beguile
Leaving us empty
And with shame

Death knows no blame
And fathoms any danger
Like a whiplash
It scourges our pride
So in the end
We leave
Without a benefit to claim

In life we taste
A little of the sweet
But bitter pungent
Do we meet
And all favors
That we pray for
We must pay for
They are debts to settle
In a square

The sky is clearing
And i see
The clouds that hung
And clothe my stars
They are not mine
Those that i seek
And all i know,
I’ll soon release

Death hides a stranger
And so
A stranger i shall be
Gone and unto my grave
to fall
The rocks
The rain
The vultures all
For stranger still is truth
When unto me
I finally meet
The stranger that is hiding
Behind the mask of death....

We are locked in a system
Politically,
Historically,
Culturally
And religiously

We think we have order
But our order is disorder

Looking back, we ask..
Where did we go wrong?

Why is the system not working
As it should?

But can we change it..?
No matter how we rearrange it
We go back to where we started

The system has taken its roots
Upon our brains and bodies
It chokes our necks
Until our breathing becomes laboured
Yet, we do not die,
We just rot and fade...

After us , what comes next...........?
I dread to imagine


#jeanrojasforthesystem

Someone is worshipping
The fallen idol
Whose sorry pieces
Are strewn all over
The strawberry walls
There is blood
On its wounds
And tears in its eyes
But the prayers
Never stopped
Till the mid-morning sun
Shown its face from the clouds

Someone can hear
The green notes
Terrorizing the lobby
But the emptiness
Is magnified..........
The eerie harmony,
Fed the notes
That are out of tune
They silenced the laughter
When the song ended in pain

Where are the broken icons?
The windows of regret?
To fading memories
Forced a muffled scream
Prayers are only heard
When a crowd comes to cheer...
A star that is dying..
And her voice is cracking...
Destroyed and long gone
No longer the angel in the choir
She is silently weeping...

Such is her destiny
And thus unraveled her story
Let this fallen idol
Rest in peace....
Let her savor the happiness
Denied to her here in this
Miserable earth
Let her sing for joy
In the altar on high...
Let her tears dry
And her sorrows fly...
Let her voice fill the rainbows
Parading in the sky..

What is peace?
Reduced to ashes,
It is now synonymous
With chaos and violence
It is death and destruction
To one and to many

Where is peace??
Does it reside in the
Deserts of Arabia,
Is it in the cafes of Europe
Or the woods of America
Or the seas of Asia?

In this twisted age that
Spawned terror
Peace is an oxymoron
For peace can not exist
With out Love
And to live a life with out love
Is to have no understanding
Of compassion and respect

So now we shall  travel in
This vicious cycle
A merry-go-round to nowhere
And nothing..
Barefoot in mind we walk
Our hearts beating without cause
Without meaning

And if you ask me again
what or where or when
Is peace...
I shall look you in the eye
and tell you i don’t know
for i have never  seen
it in its true form
all i see are compromises,
and false propaganda
i shall cross the yellow line
and smother my mind
with the pillow of comfort
that I know nothing
i can no longer feel anything..
except force myself
to stop talking...
someone is pointing a gun
in my mouth

05 December, 2015

#jeanrojasforterror2015

A basket of love
In colors of brilliant hues
Is what you bring
You are like home-
A soft warm bed,
A loaf of bread
Someone who lights
Up a room
With the words you speak
And your smile
That lingers long
After first it was seen...

This is who you are
Devoid of masquerade
You are as real
As a sunlit sky
Or a  moon’s
shadow on the sea
For it is hope
That you bring
To those whom
Hope has never seen
You are joy, personified
An angel with invisible wings...

I could say that the Lord
Could not have sent
A better messenger
To spread His words and sprinkle
His love all over...

Stand up and dance...
And make us laugh
For in this world today
There’s so much misery combined
But for one moment
All is well and as
It should be
When you are near
We lose all fears

Give us your basket of love
And let us shine with you
Stand up and dance
And we shall all dance with you...

calmly....
ascending and descending
through fame, fortune and death...
such is your dignity

you fill my heart
with so much nostalgia
that sometimes I think
we have met before, in time...
through ripples in time....

the moment I knew of you.,.
I have loved you...
It's as if I knew you
long before I truly existed

and in this very special occasion
of your solemn birth...
one hundred fifty four years ago...

I wish to thank you....
for gracing us with your presence
for teaching us of life and love...
for making us proud as a nation
despite our failures, faults and
insecurities...

you gave us your name...
your intelligence and your love
in the purest form and sense

so now I say to you...
happy may this day be
for us all
as Filipinos, we must never forget
for it is a sin not to remember
a beautiful man such as yourself
that gave rise. meaning and relevance
to the word "Filipino"

I chant your name like a mantra
Rizal- my hero, my icon, my poet
and the love of my life....

out of the blue
I think of you
and everything is
as it should...

having you in my mind
is a preoccupation
unequaled in the
depths of my emotions...

why do you come to me,
in all hours of the day
or night?
but I welcome the thoughts of you..
with a glee
that makes all sorrows flee
to set me free

sometimes I wonder
if you know,
but I know that you
feel something too
there is this unspoken
thing between us
or am I overstepping
my boundaries?
with you, I can not take liberties
much as I would want to
and the gulf of year between us
reminds me that I must
keep my dignity intact

ah, but what I would give
just to make you look at me
with amorous desire
and see me in a beautiful light
the way I see you.....

For now I am content
knowing that our friendship
grows in leaps and bounds....
I am happy just to look at you
from afar-
in your small corner
of inter playing time and shadows
beside the main thoroughfare
that is heaven to my eyes...

I relish in the thought
that you lie gently in my heart
like the quiet fragrance of roses
in their magnificent poses
bathed in the sunlight of my
undying love...

For: R.F.
19 June, 2015

If I am not beautiful,
Am I not bountiful?
...........The problem with beauty is
that it gets old
after that, it can not be sold
it is a fleeting commodity
it will never, never last

If I am not successful
am I not relevant?
If I am not rich,
am I not important?
does money really talk?
and can fame
equal true , unspoiled
happiness
or peace of mind?

If I am not powerful
am I merely anonymous?
do I contribute anything at all
and do I matter?

We are living in a world
that does not tolerate mediocrity
it dwells in mores of hypocrisy
and so it breeds profanity
it encourages deception
and if you want to have your
name remembered,
take a few lives in your
gun powdered hands
they will splash your face
all over the papers
and you can hide behind
the curtains of insanity

how sad to be lonely
but these are the
scenes that we condone
plastic caricatures we are
living in lies and
false smiles
we have died while
we are still alive
inhaling the polluted air
that we so happily create

Oh those glorious summers
of years long past...
bring me back to the splendid
days of our youth
dearest sister, life of my heart,
with your soulful brown eyes
and dark flowing hair,
how beautiful that face,
such delightful grace, you are
a standout among us, like no other
yours is character that never fades
creating a bliss that never fails
I must say, I am the lucky one
I have you as my sister, bright as the sun...

Morning is in the eyes of
Those who seek
The waves that lap
To meet the cheek
Death that calls us
Soon and all
Evening bends the will
That has to fall….

Enter life, in essence
Naked to the world
Exit life, as naked as the
Day of our births
Sleep that we have no choice
But to partake
Must in time and place
Break up things
We must forsake

Moving now
As moving we create
Swaying with the breeze
That will never cease
How moments treasured
Just go by,
In a wink,
In a flash,
And forever flying high

Think in my mind
Of you
When you were here
Silently, the tears have fallen
With the fears
Friends we were and
Friends we’ll always stay
In clouds of smoke
I do begin to pray

I see you as a bird
I see you as a flower
No longer man
Your spirit blooms
In splendor
Where you are
Is where God dwells
And where we’ll all be
Someday……

I take your hand
You view my soul
And you take off
On the clouds
In the skies
As morning blends
With the coming evening
I say
Goodnight my friend

Sweet are the thoughts
That you have left me
While you lived
We’ll meet there somehow
And somewhere
We’ll take off together
Soaring the blue and endless heavens….
You were there first
And I’ll be there next……..

My fearless general
Full-blooded son of our nation
I call you
In these uncertain times….
I need your courage
And extreme nationalism
For I am surrounded by
Anemic Filipinos,
Merely like myself,
Unable to act and speak
No dynamism-
A lack of principles

Where could you be, my general?
Surely a man like you will never hide
No wound, no bullet, no threat
Can ever make you bend your knees
I hear no cried nor pleas
From your revered lips
My strength is failing me
I need your blood
Alone, I cry
Believing myself to be incomplete
Embrace me, for you are magnificent
And there can be no other

Through the years
I still remember
How I leafed the pages
Of history just to place your name…
Maybe time ran so fast
But to me you were never last
Because you last….

Tell your brothers what you
Could do for love of country
I know and I have felt
You are my first
And  foremost general
And I shall carry you
Upon my shoulders
And stroke your head
While you sleep on my lap
Because you make me want
To tell the entire world
That my general is a Filipino
And I am proud to be his comrade!

there is a hole in my heart
that is narrow,
though it is not big
it is only shallow
still it leaves
my spirit hollow
like the loss of a limb
or death of a sparrow
leaving me alone to wallow
in my preposterous sorrow
taken to tears i will shed
until tomorrow.....

vaguely i recall,
a sorry encounter
loving an angel
a rogue in disguise
little mistakes
to carelessly caution
the heart that sells
emotions by auction
how am i able to stand this?
he has no compunction

the same mistakes
i keep on repeating
promise my heart
that it would stop beating
but never it could
though seriously wasting
we have no control
of all our excesses

in reckless precision
i root my position
in lying ambition
the fire of ignition
burned my back
for courage i lack
to vehemently deny
this false recognition

what causes me to act
like keyholes in doorlocks?
always the passive answer
to a resistance?
can i not shine on
my own accord?
must i dream of luxuries
i can not afford?

i see myself
standing on my head
discarding the robes
like snakes in the shed
lying in my bed
and lying to myself
i am boring a hollow
but shallow hole in my heart

perhaps i deserve
the idiocy i create....

my soul is lost
when i hear
the sound of your name
like whispers in the sea
his echoes
compel the heavens to weave
its magic spell
i touch his face
and all the wonders
there i see
deliriously
i feel his lips
with a sweet delicious scent
of an intoxicating taste

in blind adoration
with feverish admiration
i speak his name
and i am spellbound
he opens for me
sights and sounds
i never knew existed

but my words precede me
so i can describe no more

this prince,
this angel
borne of the moscow winds
blessed and kissed
by the drops of crystal dew
in the fertile russian soil

my life has never been the same
since i heard the sound of your name

My dearest Danny,
delicate young angel
with yellow hair..
sweet innocent child
that is not so innocent
redeem me,
from the ache that
gnaws through my bones

Where do you go?
when you want to feel safe?
Where do you hide?
to be invisible
and out of reach?
take me to your secret place
for I want to be there with you...

Life has not been kind
to you,
dearest Danny
experiences have aged
you far beyond your years
and yet you cope,
you recuperate from
the scars that blur
your identity
How soft you still are
how fragile,
not hardened nor embittered

How do you still go on?
standing up after every fall
Then falling again
Then standing up again.....
The bruises that covered your soul
have healed,
but at what price...

And yet,
here you are before me
blindingly beautiful
with a tainted innocence
and such a trusting heart
I miss that waywardness about you
I miss the weakness that
makes you unintentionally strong

Take me to your secret place,
Danny...
And heal me...
make me whole again....

My  love,
I am so afraid,
That one day,
I will lose my head,
Over the cunning deception,
Everywhere.....
I made many bad decisions,
In my life,
That now cause me so much,
Pain and grief,
I feel I am alone,
Among the street smart people,
Leading me on,
Mostly without defenses....
Armed with trust and love,
I come out in the open,
With rose petal vision
In my heart...
You know, more than I,
The ways of this world..
And I come to you for solace
To ease the confusion of lies..
But where are you now,
My love...
I see you not though
Clearly you are near...
The mystery in you rises
To the surface
And all I can embrace
Are your deeply sonorous voice
And your words...
I know ,you too,have been,
lost in pain
We have to console each other
And shut off  the madness
Of our lives.
So tell me to fear not my love
Tell me to be not afraid
And I shall follow your lead
In a place where you and I
Can embrace in peace....
Knowing not the word goodbye
Knowing only the rainbows in the sky

I hear your voice
and I see.....

A burst of sunlight
dancing with a kiss
of the breeze....

Flashes of fireworks
cascading through the
illuminated sky...

waters falling
in the seas
like sweet and mellow notes
sung by children in
a choir of perfect harmony.....

the mysterious moon
shining over souls of lovers
swooning and dreaming,
blessing their sighs
with surge of emotions
so strong yet so frail
so beautiful beyond words...

the world in an hourglass
revolves carelessly
in the palm of your hands....

sands of Sahara
turning into silver and gold....

The sensual splendor of Rome
captured in the tender curve
of your smile....

The magnificent majesty
of the vast galaxies
of the universe
is enhanced in the
language of your eyes....

day embracing the night
and night surrendering
into day,
all in a second
through the gestures of
your body....

These I see and so
much more...
for you have given me wings
to soar through
heaven's immeasurable heights

And I say to myself
this must be love...
my heart can not deny
This must be love..
It must be true..
and it is such a precious pleasure
to fall in love with you

Paris....
romantically calm
lovely in January
Lights up
when you arrive
at her doorstep...
you promised me a postcard
but it sounded to my ears
like a promise of springtime
and roses,

Then I say to myself,
This must be love...
What else could it mean...
All my being arrested
with a word from your lips..
this must be love, my darling...
It must be so...
and it is such a precious pleasure
to fall in love with you...

Bronze skin
drenched by the light
of the Portugal sun
Lines and countours
slowly shape a man
in his glorious splendour

youth and beauty
chiseled with fire
morning wonders
in the depth of his eyes
Speak they of golden
sensual tales
as their brown color
eagerly traverse the
waiting blue horizons

birds sing their songs
and trees sway in a dance
wild flowers loudly declare
the poetry of his form

Son of the Portugal sun
disperse all our woes
bring laughter sans tears
Ruler of love and
Conqueror of hearts
bathe us in seas
of quiet tranquility
and mesmerize into slumber
the moon up on high

A question within a question
a mystery unfolds
No answer forthcoming
no soul to be sold
to gods and to mortals
to nature and to space
a nest for all sweetness
in the palm of his hand

To share but a moment
in his arms softly lay
is to touch the shimmering light
of the bold Portugal sun!

On their faces are three hands
altogether telling the hours,
minutes and seconds that pass by
amidst this all
are your smiling eyes
expressively inviting..

from where you are and
where i am.....,
it's just a stone's throw away
i look but not look
yet i see and i desire...

you belong to someone else
but no one can stop me
from dreaming....
and in the dark solitude
of my room
i say your name with a
thousand fluttering sighs

i imagine how tightly
your gentle but sturdy arms
would hold me

i visualize your wondrous kiss
that will linger on my lips
for days and days to come....

this fascination leaves me breathless....
but i take control,
and keep it contained...

- for i know i am alone
in my feelings-

and i have no way to tell you
unless you read my
passionate words...

that your being is already
tattooed technicolorly
in my mind

and all i want is to thank you
for making this tired, old heart
beat again.......

On the road
I thought of you
Through flying clouds
And powder blue skies

There is a feeling
I can not comprehend
That makes my mind
And will bend……
What meaning, unto me,
Do you want read?

Lined trees alternating
In shades of green
Moving on ahead…

I cried

‘twas a long, long route
To a destination
I had no control of,
The pain and the pleasure
Intermingled in my breast
My heart was not at rest

I remembered…..
For so long
I finally did,
As I realized
There are fewer and fewer
Memories to live with……

I know your tears now
For I have shed them myself.

Verses out of rhyme
From prophets to poets
Out of line
Corridors of restless passages
Form this abode of passion
Of mine
In countless manifestations
Upon seeking representations
To salvage this predicted downfall
About to be genuinely fulfilled

What say you
To my fate in this
Displeasure?
Hiding the crimes
That people must censure
Getting a fix
And giving a trick
Being used like a workhorse
Before my staying power
Is over….

Can I make myself
Come to terms
With failures for fortune
Riding the crest
Of my oblivious popularity
Will they remember
Or can they see?
When white men
Would drag me
To the cell of my death?

I belong here, don’t I?
Like verses out of rhyme

I close my eyes
To nurture the *****
Of this solution
They must inject inside
Of me
To dissolve me
In the fading background
Like lingering shadows
That will never take shape
I brought my hands up
To touch my cheeks
I wipe the bitter tears
As I lay me down
To sleep…….

Pieces of the shadows
Of the dying sun
Lie on the face of
The ever-moving sea
Tinting water with
Its orange hue
Rippling figures in
Shades of green and blue

Darkness hides
With unknown fear
But living legends
Live on a spear
Bravely facing enemies
Unseen and unheard
A deafening blast
Took its toll
And found its mark
But she lives….
Spilling blood
On  turbulent soil…
Temperatures rise with
Fists, to a boil…

I only see
The light in her eyes
Feel her passions
Like the fragrant breath
Of the willowed wind
Know her courage shall sustain
Her country on the run
In ruins, underneath the sun…

She is Pakistan’s muse
And she lives…
Her legend cries to be told
From far and near
It shall be heard….
Echoes of her voice
Casting shadows by the sea
She will persist
And none can resist
For then, we will know
That she will not go
Deep in our hearts
She will thrive
And survive
For legends like her
Shall always be alive….

She is  Pakistan’s muse
Her name is like a prayer
Say it softly and it soothes
Whisper loudly
And it moves
Like the pieces of the shadows
Of the sun
On the face of the ever-moving sea…

Gentle Stockholm, in my mind
Tender city with its laid-back ways…
Sun-kissed, snow covered days
A sleepy lover’s eyes along its bays
There I was, a foreigner
Gasping at the breathtaking view
A beauty simple and true
Learning to walk through
Its cobbled streets….
Singing and humming
To its sensual beats…
Like a lover, it strums my body
It’s fingers knowing all the cords
To play……
And I pray,
I swear, I will return
To this unforgettable place…
That has invaded the space
Of my peace
Like its trees…
with leaves of,
Green, yellow and brown
Four seasons of  harmony
Boring holes through my senses…
It’s memory stored through the tenses…
Stockholm in the summer, winter season
Through the autumn’s rise and fall….
flowers bursting in bloom at spring's hall...
Always will I remember it’s
Echo’s call…..
Into my heart….
It will never part…

You broke the chains of
My sorrows…
Lending me the promise
Of many tomorrows,

Stockholm, gentle ,Stockholm
Sing to me your songs of life
Set me free
and make me see,
But never let me be…..

The flames of Valencia
Rips through my veins
His colors course
Through the dreams
In my eyes…
Astounding architectures
Along his streets
I gathered….
Whispering expressive
Spanish songs,
In the core of my ears…
Inside a taxi cab..
Running  wild
Unmindful,
My heart soaring
Like the taps of
The feet of
A flamenco dancer…..
Wrapping my very soul
With eclectic passions
Rhythm and rhymes
Church bell that chimes
Carelessly,
Impatiently
He moves his fingers in a dance
….and
To me,
It is a caress,
that leads me to a trance…..

With a  soft cry of passion
I walked the streets
Of Valencia
Like a woman
Possessed…
With his glory
With his story
Loving minute after
Minute
Of his magnificence  and wonder…
Never wanting to leave
his Mediterranean shores…..

Sights and sounds of Valencia…….
With his pious ,stately cathedrals
Where I knelt in awe
Before the ******
Vowing to return,

A hungry kiss upon his cheek
Shall I plant before I go...
This I promise and this I know….

Valencia…..in my heart
You will always stay…
In fervent wishes,
This, I truly  pray….

Blue sunrise,
Purple sunset
Our minds play
With colors in the sky
What we see is
Not always what is,
And then we cry
After the laughter
And the bliss…..

Your face, I have not seen
And yet your goodness
Comes clean
Through distances and time
Your soul burst forth
Like the light of the sun
Your heart of gold
Will never grow old
For you, these lines
Do virtues find…….

Values never die
Compassion runs high
It lives in you,
In your childlike mind
Always the innocent,
Unaware of the sorrows
Of this world
Your smile is sweet enough
To open up a flower’s petals…

Those who fail to see the sunrise
Turn around to face the sunset
Those who leave for fear
That they won’t understand
Are the real lost causes

You are nature’s love child
Cradled by the blue sunrise
Born out of a rose’s bloom
In the arms of the windy clouds
You will stay,
Never to stray,
Never in pain
Your laughter flows
With the gentle rain….

Truly blessed you are,
No sin can ever mar
Your beauty that I love
Here and from afar
Give me the honor
Of  knowing your name
To me it is more important
Than fortune or fame

Run, Gemini child
And run fast
For tragedy is hounding
You in the guise
Of glory
And billing you
For excesses uncontrolled
The end is drawing near….
Though you have no fear,
Must you also have no shame?

Hide, Gemini child
And hide yourself well
Hold still, unmoving
Drop out of sight
And out of mind
For the consequences
Have exacted from you
A high price to pay
A form of revenge
Festering in your unkempt spirit
How could you live
As you have allowed yourself
To lead?

Destroy not your soul
For materials that put their
Patents on you…
Must you go so low?
Can you never go slow?
Downwards is a long
And empty route
It was not the road
That the heavens had
Destined you to take
Though it be the one
You will never, ever forsake…

Be kind dear Gemini child
And go down alone
If you think that you must
Your looks might be lasting
But your heart remains wanting
Let other people move on
And share not
This unnecessary pain
Let time be the judge
Nor excuses be made
For your living the fullest
Through irreverent ways….

Curse of the seasons
Child of the star
Rest but your head
On a pillow of stone
Walls that constrict
From maggots insist
Anaesthetize all emotions
That plagued you in life…

Meet me at Forest Lawn
Where to you I will sing
To wipe all your tears
And sunflowers bring
Moodust on my pocket
And one for the road
Dear Gemini child
Running from cold
Kiss to the fate
All the prophets fortold
Dear Gemini child
So beautiful and so bold
Mine is a love
That time can not fold
Depicted in stories
That shall never be told…

when the time comes
that time is no more
and the union of body
to soul ,no longer a lore,
then heaven's door
is nearer the earth's floor
and stars align with planets
like the lines of a sonnet
And You shall be resurrected
with all Your glory ascended
upon the heavens, descended
here to fill us with rapture
our spirits in Your hands, capture

My God, My gracious Lord
we herald Your second coming
In triumph, Your face a-beaming
seeing You when trumpets sound
the judgment call, I ask
where will I be my Lord?
where will you take me?
for the love I feel
no words could ever make real
only my mind talks
and You understand
here I kneel
where you stand

My Lord
cleanse me of sins past
bring me to Your kingdom
at last....
for I have always known
the unknown
and love You from afar
I stake no claim
on reason or rhyme
I believe
without the benefit of sight
I don't know where it comes from
it is beyond my comprehension
So when You walk upon
this earth once more
take me in Your arms ,
forevermore...........
then time ceases to be
and You are all I see