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I am running out of excuses
Of why I want to be alone
 Apr 2014 James Jarrett
EAHutch
You asked me about the neighbors.
They don’t say much.
They don’t mean much.
They lie with their backs pressed up against the bubble
In which we call home
We know so little about each other
Besides a name and a face
and the color of the outside of your house
We judge you by when you put your Christmas decorations up
and when you take them down
By the cars parked in your driveway
By the kind the of dog you own
and how often you are outside walking him
or by how many flowers you have in your front lawn

You asked me about the neighbors.
From my balcony
I can peak through the trees to the house of the older couple who
Obsessively water their lawn
How much water can you use?
Isn't your grass green enough?
And do you really have to mow the lawn at 7 Sunday morning?
And stop losing your cat
we are tired of hearing you call her name.

But on Monday evening
When the pile of textbooks on my desk is so heavy
if you threw it at someone it would **** them
And who knows when the studying will be over
Settle in
It should be a long night

The sound of the little girl’s laughter next door
Is like music that sinks deep into my soul
And brings a breath of relief
Your granddaughter is very beautiful
And I think she loves to sit in the
Green fresh cut grass with the cat
Time doesn’t stop for anybody.
I remember when that was me.

The people in the round house with the rickety steps
Are too loud.
Unstable young people who party too much.
The cars parked up and down the road are dotted with tickets
the next morning
The trash men have trouble with the bags of beer bottles
overflowing your garbage can
What a crazy night it must have been
and all over again next weekend.
You barely even made the rent this month
But everybody goes through a stage like that
And at least you ride your bike
And your big brown dog doesn’t chase our cats
Im betting in the next six months you should be out
And someone just like you will take your place

You asked me about the neighbors.
Across the street is the biggest house
They just bought an SUV
Its bulky and black and you cant see in the windows
so most of the time I don’t recognize them
That ****** ballerina of a daughter they have should get outside more
and her sister too
I think the fresh air would do them some good
We are surprised to see the maid’s car in their driveway today
Arn't they on vacation?
Whats the point?
We used to have that same maid.
But she only came once a week to our house
and twice to theirs
We decided we didn’t need her anymore
Because we can do our own cleaning.
When we were little I remember our lemonade stands
And pulling each other around in the wagon
the mudpies and the sandbox
gymnastics on the trampoline
They go to the private school and we go to the public.
We don’t talk much anymore.

The man and the woman with the golden retrievers are very kind
Although maybe they should think about a dog walker
Sometimes we worry Powder is going to pull his arm out of its socket
and Betty is going to yank her down
When we look in the window we can see her knitting
She always made me laugh when I saw her at the mailbox
He always gave good candy on Halloween and told us funny jokes
My brother and I are older now.
We don’t talk to them much.
All they really have to say when we see them is
“How you’ve grown up!”

You asked me about the neighbors.
They don’t say much.
Most of them have very green grass on their front lawn
And we don’t judge them for keeping their Christmas light up year round
Cause sometimes we do that too
There are no mean dogs
Come to think of it no mean people either
Sometimes they ask us to water their plants for a week
and usually they pay us well
Its really no trouble. Who doesn’t like flowers?
Your violets are my favorite
and your daises are very pretty too.
All we have in common is we live on the same street
And the same bear attacks our trashcans
And we all inhabit a place where sometimes the sunrise
is too beautiful to sleep through
And so we walk out on the driveway in our bare feet
Clutching our coffee cups
Grab the paper and stop and look around
And breathe the fresh morning air
And listen to the silence
And wave and smile and say good morning.
You asked me about the neighbors.
They don’t say much.

But I think they mean something.
Let the pen be your blade,

                                and the ink be your blood

      pouring down on a sentence,

              soaking up a blank piece of paper.
I care. I care so much more than even you do.
 Apr 2014 James Jarrett
r
Dream
 Apr 2014 James Jarrett
r
Listen
Listen now
He doesn't sleep here
Anymore.

Smile
Smile somehow
He walks upon that shore.

Look
Look inside
Look inside yourself.

Dream
He's dreaming
You'll find him in your dreams...
Somehow.

4/18/14
For Maria.
my body rejects milk
I wish it rejected
your lies
10w
The poem could also read:
my body rejects milk
I wish it rejected
my lies
What not to want

ah, Rose, in deep breath
a thousand times
one secret door unlocked in my heart
a thousand times in deep breath
in each inhale heaven's aroma
you stoked my want of wants
the need of all my needs

to know **what not to want

four words and one line
to remind me what's not mine
mine never could be
learned after fake encounters
deep cuts and lasting scars
diminished for what's not mine
never could be
yet passed through fire
scathed burnt metamorphosed
till learned the truth
in just four words
one line
what not to want
that once known
a knowledge worthwhile
makes easier
the remaining miles.
I owe the title and the inspiration for this write to Kelly Rose, the spark coming from her response to my comment on her poem A Love That Never Was.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/671144/a-love-that-never-was/
Thank you Rose for this gift of realization.
Traces of beauty
still linger
on her sullen face.
I am told,
those malachite eyes
& high cheekbones
one mesmerized
all the men.
But now, nicotine
stains her fingertips
& Jim Beam
is her constant friend.
I wished I had known her
in a previous life,
before cigarettes
& bottled-boys
took her down.
Four Stories
Knew a man, name was Jack,
sure did smoke lots of crack.
As his teeth began to rot,
doctors discovered a brain clot.
When he died, no one did care,
just a story, I had to share.
Knew a girl, name was Beth,
all she did, was smoke ****.
Brain fried couldn't talk,
had to crawl, couldn't walk.
On the day, that she did die,
not one person, started to cry.
Knew a boy, name was Harrison,
sure did shoot, lots of ******.
Dozing off now and again,
always missing his **** vein.
People knew he'd die soon,
veins popped just like a balloon.
Know a man, name is Reid,
all he does is smoke too much ****.
smoked bowls, joints and a ****,
banging his chest like King Kong.
he is here, as I speak,
we're getting ****** and feeling weak.
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