From a young age it's followed me,
with a scrunched back and a shrouded face
like a shadow
it watched me write alone behind the dumpster
cross streets when cars came,
and that time I played chicken it was there to comfort me

My life is the lamest tragedy
I walk this lonely road,
the only one I have ever known
and greenday got me through it back then
but now it all falls apart

we're apart and I don't think there's a remedy
alone through this life is the way I ride
and it may be the last time tonight

I write because no one listened
maybe I'm too emotional
my psyche has gotten out of control
tentacles reach from memories buried
and they come forth to haunt me

I just feel empty like a deflated balloon
used up, thrown out, and so **** blue
I can try to put light where there is darkness
but there hasn't been any light for me

So I will sit here alone at my desk in contemplation
I don't think it will help but I've been
my own company for far too long
so much that I stopped singing my song.

The things people say....
The things people do....

Can somtimes make,
a fool out of you....

The way people act....
The games they play...

Will only let them,
lead your way......

To the lies they tell.....
To the drama they live...

Has no reason,
for them to give.....

To the things they will take..
For they will never give....

To their selfish acts,
is no way to live....

To the burdens in life..
To sickness and health..

Grant me this wish,
of only love and wealth...

Love is a lie I tell myself
A little joke to poke
A hole to hopefulness
Mostly it’s like an illness

To feel the sickness
Of desire that turns into
Bouts of melancholic
Moody human mildew

The truth is this kiss
Is a token of destruction
Her tokens of affection
Our eternal damnation
That open me up
To more painful stuff

One moment I am all the rage and the next I fly into one. In one moment I will be courageous then I want you to tell me what to do. Depending on the day or the meds I am not sure who I will be. Sometimes I think I can fly and others I want to live in the basement. All of these people living in my head often confuse me. I can't get a moments peace except when I am asleep, then I am not sure who takes over. I can be very responsible to the point of obsessing, at least that's what my shrink and my lover say, my mom and my room will tell a different tale. So when I wake up and we meet, don't be offended if the next time I don't recognize you and I am a different side of me.