In your flesh
was formed this skin
These big brown eyes,
the bones within

In this heart there was a hole
And this is where you made your home
That is where you planted seeds
For years of weeds and pain to grow

In pulling your roots
I cracked the dirt
I dug you out
Your love, your hurt

But between the two I wondered-
Which was worse?

For needing you
is my biggest curse

And, though we’ll never find each other
I found what was missing
in being a mother

In this flesh
I formed their skin
Their loving eyes
Their joy within

And in this heart I made their home
And in your place, I saw it grow
It was the best part of me
That you’ll never know

And in planting their roots
I let go of you
At last, I am free
At last, I am new
I can move on; I will get through


So, Mother, you do not deserve your name
Because our wombs are not the same

I hear a chorus within you
Percussions and woodwinds
That hold no answers
I read these lyrics within me
And none of these words can help us

I’ve seen the eyes that are empty
And the past that is filled with my envy
I have discovered my darkest enemy
And I regret to find that it is me

I’ve touched the heart that is hollow
In search of a better tomorrow
With hope that sings songs of such sorrow
And your time which I don’t dare to borrow  

I’ve crossed the land wide and narrow
In search of what you can’t seem to feel
I’ve touched all the sand and the water
And I still cannot tell what is real

I’ve cried out to ears that don’t listen
No sound would come out of my mouth
I’ve begged for you to forget me
But that’s not what this poem’s about

I’ve rocked the cradle that holds her
The will that flows through my veins
I twisted the strands made of soft gold
I watch as she waxes and wanes

I’ve kissed the lips of true evil
And braved through what I see in my dreams
I’ve built up the courage to love again
But this time I’ll use it on me