I am awake, living
I can hear the birds outside my rusted window,
I open my eye, cheek squished against my pillow
I catch a glance of the world outside these 4 walls that hold the fluctuation of emotions inside of me
" Another day ", I think to myself.
The smell of coffee brewing gives me the will to crawl out of bed,
The element of living, how rare for the average human being
The warmth of my home reminds me of the small blessings life has given me,
As the days pass me, I peel off the callus that has surrounded my heart,
I have been given another chance. A new opportunity.
I sip my coffee,
Ah, the warmth on my lips,
I feel it seap down my throat burning just enough for me to enjoy it,
" I am whole again".

Unbearable hands wrapped around me
Suffocating me, making me feel as if life is drowning me
You create knots in my stomach
An eagerness that cannot be explained
You come out of nowhere and take a grasp around my neck
Latching yourself like a hungry leech
You creep over me like a gray cloud creeps over a sorrowful soul
You make it unbearable to let my soul live freely; with no worry

Those unbearable hands,
Wrapped around me, intoxicating me with your strength
You move oceans inside of me, making me feel sea sick from the current
Unbearable hands, a grasp that i cannot control
A figment of my imagination some say, but you're much stronger than what people believe you to be

Unbearable hands, let me live.

Somedays, I feel like I sinking.
I can fill it in my ribs, as each one breaks from the heaviness of my heart.
I feel the flowers I planted inside my soul, dying.
Each petal slowly falling, and cracking from the lack of nourishment.
Tears fill my eyes, and run down my face like a heavy creek stream.
I fear the power of my emotions.
I fear losing insight, for life is so beautiful.
Life is precious, easily ticked away by time.. yet, makes us feel like we've lived centuries with the wisdom we gain through our darkest corners.
Im holding onto my sanity; my strength.
I'm letting myself reep away, so that I can grow again.
My roots will flourish; my soul will be crisp.
Until then, I'm only a vessel, a floating soul, trying to find its way back home again.
Oh, the thoughts over coffee and ticking of my mothers clock.

For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen:
a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.

The memories hurt,
The memories will never fade,
They stick to my head like bubblegum,
They creep in my loneliest moments and torture my soul.

I hate you for doing this to me.
Why did you make me love you so deep?
Why did you show me you cared?
You shouldn't have spent 3 A.M summer nights talking to me,
Maybe then you wouldn't have known my real self,
you wouldn't have been able to reveal my weakness.

Unforced happiness,
The connection between us,
The grip of your hand when i was unsure,
The look of admiration in your eyes when i stared at you,
I saw my reflection behind those hazel eyes,
I saw the way you saw me,
My fingers tangled up into yours perfectly;
It was like it was meant to be.

You left me empty handed, unsure of who i was anymore,
My favorite summer memory,
My favorite Hello,
You made me feel whole;
yet so empty.
You were the best, and worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I look around,
All I see is mind less walking corpses,
Their fear to stand out, their fear to be visible,
Empty vessels, unwakend souls.
Stuck in a world of no substance,
Hollow minds brainwashed by the eye of society,
No knowledge of one's true self.
Starving souls.

She would not show that she was afraid,
But being and feeling alone was to much to face,
Though everyone said she was so strong,
What they didn't know was that she could barely carry on.
But she knew she would be okay, so she didn't let it get in her way,
Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you have to realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid,
Because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes,
It gets a little too much.