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  Mar 2014 Jen
T
Push another button
I dare you
I'll be gone before you can mock me
for leaving.
But I'll probably stay
long enough to make it harder to leave,
And still walk away,
Forgetting to breathe.
But I remember to keep
An easy stride
so easy your pride
might not survive.

I doubt you and I
don't trust you and I
don't think you are real.
You are crazier than me:
You soak in my zeal
Run your thumb along my greatest appeal
explore the cloaked
cliffs and  plateaus, and yet
feel no love towards me.

I am too weak
To stand tall and reek
of eagerness to speak
with no constraints.
I bare my greatest pains        
to enslaved brains
that manipulate to gain
something that flows freely
from me.

At the throw of a stone,
I'll walk alone.
I'll fall and crawl and bawl alone
But I refuse to throw another bone
your way.
I might confuse again your joyfulness
as mine
and accidentally stay.

Push another button
I dare you
But I know you won't
make it so simple.
You'll plead when I run but
Still bleed as I burn
everything on my shelf
to sterilize the needle
needed to sew your brittle ego.
I weave a steady thread
of lies and secrets and hope and dread
over and under.
You won't stop bleeding
As if to say " See? You can't help me, either!".

At least I tried.
You've clutched your lies and secrets
hope and dread.
Good for you, you have held onto
your head.
Mine flips 5 times a day. ​
Jen Mar 2014
I'm trying to unlock this door
but where's the key to happiness?
I'm just lying broken on this floor
and waiting for the pain to end;
but badly bruised and beaten down,
I've locked out my only friends.
I've tried so hard to look within
and find out how to make amends
but this **** door won't let them in
so I'm lying here again
trust seclusion life depression
Jen Mar 2014
You can't escape the tide
when the waves are getting high
You can't escape your mind
when you're locked away inside
you can't tell if you're far, halfway, or almost through
what is there
what is there to do?
Jen Mar 2014
You've laced all of my passion with doubt
These memories were short but loud as hell
Now I'm trapped in my thoughts with no way out
and whenever I see you out, I can tell-
that I gave you a piece of me
I couldn't afford to give so freely
the waves are high and I can't breathe
now the shores disappearing and I cannot see
Tell me, does your memory
float around to thoughts of me?
Jen Jan 2014
for the life of me I cannot find
a way to lock them away inside
they creep below the surface
I'm sure they serve a purpose
the purpose that I can't find
so within my myself i hide
buried deep inside my pride
the places where my past resides
in the deepest corners of my mind
one day i'll figure out
how to leave it all behind
leave in the past all of my doubt
and extinguish the fear of striking out
Jen Nov 2013
Now that I've got your attention,
Did I forget to mention?;
I dance with the devil;
We meet at midnight, and dance until sunrise
Around a blazing fire
In the fire we throw
The past
We let it go
when he calls I don't say no
something about dancing with fire
awakens your soul
naturally though, you lose control
you let your inhibitions go
see your desire, raging in the fire
and you'll dance, you'll dance
to a tune of
heartbreak and emotion,
until the flames light up your veins
were told the devil's bad news
perhaps he just reveals you to
the truth
the painful, the bitter,
listen you've got to consider
where does the devil reside?
In the mind.
but when you're no longer dancing
your bodys blazing with passion
you will never stop asking
when the next dance is

I was invited to jive
with the most dangerous being alive
but nowhere did I sign
instead of losing, it was myself I did find
because the music and the monster and the fire
revealed me to my own desire
took me into a journey into my own mind
to see.. that my own devil was me
when you lay blame outwards, you are blind

— The End —