there is something eerily and ironically calming about being alone in a room crowded by people who do not know a single thing about you – the unsurmountable flaws you try so hard to claw out, the haunting memories that tug your heartstrings, the wretched moment you first experienced heartbreak, the tiresome problems that incessantly pest you, the undeniable fondness you feel for the one who makes you feel all types of fuzzy on the inside, down to every detail you lock away and consent only those who have broken down your walls to see – and do not bother enough to figure out. we encounter different people day by day, apathetic and oblivious to the tough battles they have faced, and the demons they have dealt with. solace shouldn't be found in selfishness and ignorance. humanity clearly lacks a sense of sincerity, the type that is untarnished by each individual's egotistical ways. i pray that we stop being afraid of feeling and empathizing, because there is nothing more pure and beautiful than genuineness.

I hate you.

I hate you because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and what I believe I need. Whenever I stare into your eyes, I see clarity. I see what’s good for me, and what my heart yearns for.


I hate you because I can’t stay away from you, no matter how many times you push me away. You could shove me off and take me for granted, and I’d still stay because it will always be your safe embrace I’d want to return to at the end of the day.


I hate you because only you have the capacity to make me feel the way you do – as if all the butterflies were convoked to enter my stomach and find a permanent home there. The words to express how happy you make me have not been created. You are my favorite notification among the many that incessantly buzz my phone, and nothing else matters as soon as your name pops up.


I hate you because I’m willing to fight for you, even though I’m already losing the battle. They could tell me countless times how I deserve better, but I don’t want better because I want you.


I hate you because you could break my heart a thousand times, and I’d willingly go through a thousand more if it meant a shot of becoming yours.


I hate you because I’ll never get tired of choosing you. Even if you won’t choose me.


I hate you (but I hate myself more for it).