her soul ached for something a little more than fingers intertwined between hers. something a little harder to find. and it's true; she'd made homes out of humans, because their comfort kept her warm. but it was never enough. maybe she'll never find what she's looking for. maybe she was never supposed to. but until then, in the midst of her uncertainty, she turned over every corner of her world until there was nowhere left to look but inside herself. and what an awakening it was to find that every road led to home.

Loss and gain, loss and gain
Arriving just to leave again. This is what it's all about, this is what it's always been. I guess it's easy for us to forget that this life is transient. Never constant. Only sometimes comfortable. Only sometimes awful.

It is an eternal river, running downstream. And we come along, for the briefest moment; a hand dipping into the current of life. And we watch as the water drains back through our fingers when we leave; taking with it our torment, laughter and sins. Our love affairs and painful regrets. The stories we told over and over. Every little detail that we identified with so deeply -- it all returns to the Source. And the river does not cease to run when we are no longer in it. It keeps on running, just as the world keeps on spinning, with such intention. An intention that we've spent eternities trying to make sense of.

Sometimes my insignificance is enough to drive me to the edge of despair. But other times I can't imagine a more emancipating truth.
Loss and gain, loss and gain. Arriving just to leave again. This is what it's all about, this is what it's always been.

you're steady clinging to any saving grace that you can find, piling up excuses just to keep his presence justified. not to mention all the ways you let his darkness be romanticised.
the present moments flicker past and you pay them no mind; shackled to a past with him you know you can't revive.

and you could spend a lifetime teaching him to love you right. until you're twisted out of shape dying for him each night.
but you will not play slave to yet another wretched ego, and your being will not cease to glow without him there to tell you so.

and if there is a Lord, He knows that it takes time, to crawl through devastation and to reach the other side. to be damaged and distorted, and to learn you're still divine.
if there is a Lord, He knows that it takes time.

What does it mean to be nostalgic
Of a place you've never been?
As if you're not already
Right where you're supposed to be

And what does it mean to miss the touch
Of someone that you've never seen?
Longing for a love
That should already be within

What does it mean?

Daddy puffs a fire stick
and Mama doesn't like it;
she put it out so many years ago.
it was just a tiny one
of many sacrifices made;
and she bit her tongue
for longer than she'd hoped.

Here I go again
To make you feel uncomfortable
With my onslaught
Of introspective thinking
Maybe you should run and hide
Before it has the chance to sink in

Just a little query for those of you
Who think prejudice
Is no longer existing

If it's not racist why am I offended?
Is it because I like to ruin your fun?
See you transition from white to red
As I shed light on the words you've said?

To you I guess I'm the angry black girl
Looking for something to moan about
I just want to play the victim
Another excuse to scream and shout
So is it me that's magnifying 'us and them'
By 'choosing' to take offence?
Or is it you that's trying to sweep me
Under the rug again?

But hey it's just a joke, it's just a crack
And it's time I learnt to be okay with that
You say this is hypocrisy
You turn the tables onto me
Do I make jokes about my folks?
I do, but I'm a little more qualified than you

'It's not fair,' you say
'How come you can jest
About white privilege, now and again
But we can't do the same
About an ethnic group from a history of suffering and shame?'

Well look, I'll be the first to say
That to discriminate is never okay
But you know full well from where you're sat
Your words carry much more weight
It's really quite simple, you do the math
I don't even know where to begin with that

You can blame rap, blame 'worldstar'
As if that makes it okay
But they're not responsible, you are
For the words that you choose to say

So before you try to fight for the right
To call me your ******
'Cos your best friends uncle's dad is black
Let me just stop you in your tracks
To ask you why it's something
You are clinging to so tight?

Maybe stop and ask yourself
What gives me the right?

And then I wake

I've looked for so many years
But only now I see
Many speak of living life
But life is living me

And then I wake

To constellations in my bones
An entire universe unknown
I am the stillness, I am the void
I am the silence behind the noise

Just as the lotus flower climbs
Through thick and muddy waters,
To bloom above the surface
So perfect and pristine;
I think it's about time
That we began to teach our daughters
That they are nothing short of perfect
Despite the hardship they have seen

See your beauty is no reflection
Of the corrupted world you see,
Doesn't matter where you come from
Or the places you have been;
And you are no reflection of
The suffering from your past -
Climb above the muddy waters
And bloom,
           at peace,
                     at last.

It never made much sense to me, to need you in the flesh.
It’s something that I never understood until you left.
Until I couldn’t take your smell to bed with me anymore.
See, different destinations hadn’t threatened me before;
and yet one mention of your name just drags me under.
I’m plummeting towards the ocean floor.
I still get overwhelmed if I allow my mind to wander; I’m still a slave to all those wretched thoughts.
And still I feel the sickness, and still I feel the aches.
And I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have my troubled days.
But I’m not scorned, because I adore you
And that would be insane.
And it should be said that I will not be stuck here waiting.
But I can't pretend that I'm not clinging onto faith
That our newly distant paths will someday cross again.

I don't want your model answers
Or your perfect mood
I want the damaged, distorted
Enchanting you
I want your ugly, your *****
Your failings too

Your beautiful flawed soul

The art in your mistakes
And the conflict in your mind
The things you want to say
With the words that you can't find
Your dark imagination
And the worlds that you create

I would gladly take it all

There's a place
In you and I,
       Where the
       Universe resides;
And at last,
The stars
       Are calling us
       Home.

I am the sky
And you are the weather,
Changing your mind
And clouding my view

My infinite beauty
Lost in your storm,
Under blankets of grey
Lies a glorious blue

The season will change
Casting darkness below,
But the sky will not crumble,
Nor drown, nor fall through

See you may summon thunder,
Rain through me for days;
But I'll always be still
In the absence of you.

They never said it would be easy.
Dived head first with my guard down,
Like a moth into the flame.
I wanted all of you to feel me;
So I burnt myself to the ground,
Just to hear you scream my name
One last time.

And I'd do it again,
and again and again-
Ignite myself for you, and darling
I'd feel no shame.
I'm a forest fire for your love.
And I'm burning
Everything I touch.

I used to have a lover
He played guitar in his little band;
And I’d lose myself in his song
And I loved what he did with his hands

I swear, it was only him I’d see
And to his steady rhythm my heart would sing
Sweet melodies; only for him
As I watched his sweet fingers
Dance with the strings

I haven’t seen him in a while
It’s funny how things change
His new melodies, I didn’t recognise
Our rhythms, no longer the same

And as he played with new found intention
My heart learnt a dance of its' own
But still; even so, I hope today
That his sweet hands play on...

I hope today,
That his
Sweet hands
Play on.

Be easy on yourself
You've got to have more patience
It’s all part of the plan, so just relax and ride it through

Be easy on yourself
And let your mind be vacant
You’ve got to understand that there’s no more that you can do

Be easy on yourself
You've got be more gentle
Try to take the time to free your mind of all the pain

Be easy on yourself
And put the soul before the mental
Remember to be kind and learn to love yourself again

To define is to limit.

To define is to draw the blinds
in every room
and starve the budding flowers
of the light they need to bloom.

To label is to try and quantify
an entire ocean
We are not here to be statistics
we are simply here to be.

How can we be assigned
to a basic black and white
when an entire spectrum
exists inside our minds?

See we shun what we don't understand
with assumptions that we cannot prove

and we don't want to open our minds
attached to the old, afraid of the new

and we're frightened to open our hearts
even though we have nothing to lose

and there's so much that we could all learn
if we just opened our eyes to the truth.

See, if I exceed the conceptual boundaries
that exist only in your mind
would you treat me as if I'm a threat?
Would you take any time before you decide
That I'm a foreign body in your blood?
Would you try to knock me down?
Would your alarms sound?
Would it **** up your system?
Or would you allow me to stick around?

Lay me down, soft and slow
I take a moment to admire
Your glorious temple, so foreign to me
A whole new religion, I'm aching to learn
As you descend your body onto mine
I feel my skin melt into yours;
As we become one for the first time
We are bound, beautifully, in this moment
Your grip, so full of intention
You demand to be felt.
And I longingly surrender
As I tremble at your force;
And with every ebb and flow,
Deeper and deeper
Into the unknown
A drift; we transcend the physical realm
A union of two spirits
And they're coming home.
This is more than a moment of lust
This is not a sin
This is the closest to Nirvana
We have ever been

Repeat after me:
I am a Queen, a divine Goddess
There has never, and will never
Be another me.
I have been blessed with
This particular struggle
As a lesson, as a guide.
Every freckle, every scar
Has been delicately crafted for me.
My thighs, carved by the hands of the Universe
My eyes are no less than the burning stars;
I am a work of art, a masterpiece.
Billions of years of careful planning
Have made me who I am.
My existence is entirely necessary,
It is important that I am here.
All is as intended, falling into place
At the perfect pace for me.
All that's left for me to do
Is enjoy this beautiful adventure.

They recognised each other
From an otherworldly sign
Enamoured by one another
But here, their fates just don't align
One day they'll be together
In a world beyond space,
Beyond time

heavy eyes
  heavy heart
a tragic ending
  from the start
glasses high
  spirits low
poison in a bottle
  the only spirit
    that I know

This life could be so sweet, could be a blessing
        To feel the earth beneath our feet
                With every step we take
Doesn't matter in the end, which rags you dress in
        Just to drape over your bones
                It’s just the only thing we know

No words can bring me solace
Like the stillness of the night;
Save your breath
And just take mine away.

Hello sorrow, my old friend
It's been a while since you stopped by
I've been so rested lately
And I've missed the sleepless nights
I've been too self-accepting
And it's just become a bore
I miss the hateful monologues
And crying on the floor
I've been so ****** happy
That it's driving me insane
The sun is shining every day
When all I want is rain
All this positivity, what a life to lead
Oh sorrow, my old friend
You are a friend indeed

Excuse me if I come across rudely, I wasn't listening to a word... I was too busy watching your lips dance
And your eyes light up
As you tell me stories of better days,
The adventures that made you
The iridescent being sat before me;
Glowing, so radiant with life.

And how selfish of me,
You lay before me your open book
And all I could think about
Was writing the next chapter for you;
In hope that one day ours could be the story
That glows through your skin the brightest.

Does it offend you terribly
To see a girl so bold?
An undefeated smile
She wouldn't trade for solid gold
Rooted from dark histories
Of prejudice and shame
She struts with such a presence
Like the world should know her name

Does it boil your blood
To see a woman in demand?
Who doesn't care for limitations
Dictated by the man?
Doesn't need your validation,
Admiration or desire;
She treads upon a world so cold
And she will bring the fire

It almost feels as if this industry
Relies on our ignorance, just to survive.
This new and impressionable generation
Brainwashed by toxic, destructive lies.
Young women pressured to pump up their lips
**** in their stomachs, push up their "****"
Only to return home, exhausted and drained
From all the pretence to keep up that façade

Energy that could be used elsewhere
Pursuing their dreams, showing someone they care;
Is our relevance determined by the size of our behind?
'Cause at least that's what the media pumps into our minds-
Better get weave, but look natural too...
Better have perfect eyebrows, maybe get them tattooed...
Better keep them legs shaved, bleach that upper lip...
Better make that skin spotless, edit those pics...
Go hit the gym girl, not for your health,
But to find that "good" man to hand over his wealth.
Oh, and don't get too comfortable in your own skin,
Don't try to stand out, just try to fit in.
Don't practise self-love, don't think you're "too nice"
The men they don't like it, best take their advice.
Just shrink yourself down and do as you're told
'Cause the man has no place for a woman too bold.

What are these messages we're teaching, man?
The power of music is in the wrong hands.
Whatever happened to respecting the art?
Singing songs to empower, reach out to the heart?
Not to gloat, or to sneer, or put others to shame
Or get back at that ex without using their name -

Yes it's freedom of expression, but there are better ways to do it;
Maybe use your pain to help another soul get through it.
Maybe use your spotlight to teach these younger souls
Not to beat themselves up for the things they can't control.
Preaching "do as you wish, just be mindful of others
Branded or not, dress however you feel
Stay true to your heart and what brings you to life
Forget the superficial, that isn't what's real -
What's real is the passion
The breaths that you take
Smiles you plant on people's faces
Each inch of progress that you make
The beauty of our natural world
The loving lessons that you teach
The smallest act of kindness -
A smile on the street."

I stand here drenched in light
Like, say, I'm putting on a show for you
You think that's why I'm here?
Like, say, my skin was made this soft
To cushion the blow for you?
Like, say, my value can be measured
By my willingness to serve?
Do I use too many words?

Should I offer myself to you on a platter?
Like, say, the dreams that got me losing sleep
Don't even matter?
I stand here drenched in light
Like, say, I'm putting on a show for you
But my skin was never made this soft
To cushion the blow for you

I know it doesn't seem it,
but the storms they WILL subside.
All that noise, it WILL die down
inside your troubled mind.
I promise, I promise
All in time.
Just promise me you'll stick around
For just one more sunrise.

I don't need me another friend
Take me but please don't hold my hand

With your hands around my neck
I would still pour all my love into you
And what did I expect?
You know your way around my temple
Like the architect
And with my claws into your chest
I'd carve the words
That I could never sing to you.