I spend what I don’t have
To feel all that eludes me
Body and mind
In pursuit of harmonious high —

The clock ticking taunts
A timed expiration of my bliss
For it won’t be long
Until I’m bereft again
Empty —
Amiss

Sipping miso soup
In lieu of a hug
Warm convalescence
Ephemeral reprieve
For a perpetual hunger
That ceases to leave

I know not which place is worse
Calamitous inundations of
Unrelenting grief —
Or the frigid chill of
Empty apathy in its wake:
Icy, salty stalagmites
Where tears used to be

The smoke exits my mouth
In a tired exhale
I kiss the mesh screen and
Wish it were your lips
Soft, tender, melting into mine

Your image flits idly
in my mind
a hazy reverie
An image imprinted
So delicate and fine

Yet still you elude me
By volition or chance
I sit back, defeated
But still enmeshed in a trance

Assumptions aren’t truth
But they’re all I know —
And my darling, I sense it
Yet I can’t let you go

Words never failed me
Until I met you
And how hard it is, darling —
For I’m enamored of
So few

What would it take, my sunshine?
For us to thrive and climb?
I’d capitulate to god
If it meant you could be mine

baby bottled blonde
Do you think of me at night?
As you drift into slumber
Soft — alight —

Baby bottled blonde
Your radiance transcends
O’er three thousand miles
I’d sweep you in my arms
To your soul I would tend

Baby bottled blonde
How I’d caress your appled cheeks
Kiss you in the moonlight
My tender heart — it leaks

Baby bottled blonde
It is you and you alone
My desires, selfish —
How do I atone?

-

I hate to be selfish
But I feel you should be mine
All this dodgy playtalk
When together, we could be divine?