With a heavy heart and a sinking feeling, I slowly realized that we would never have worked out, that we weren't good for each other. I wanted what she couldn't give me and she needed something that I didn't have – something she got used to, something she's familiar with. We lived in perhaps separate universes, and it was only through some mistake, some unfortunate collision we both shared that we had met and fallen in love – if it was even real love.

I knew what I saw in her and how I felt and somehow, despite my instinct that it would all end in tears and heartbreak, made me dive completely in, made me offer all my love and made me irrevocably careless. I knew. I had known. But that did not stop me.

If you knew her, you couldn't blame me.

And there was I on bended knees,
asking God to grant that one wish,
that wish that I've been yearning for.
As I end my prayer, I find myself
asking Him how you've been.

And there was I on bended knees,
still asking Him to guide you,
still slipping little prayers for you.
I hope you're happy.
I hope your wishes come true.

I hope you'll be loved by someone,
who gives you love so deep like the ocean
and so much that it flows like a river out of you.
And I hope she'll never leave you feeling empty,
like how I felt when you left me.

"how do i explain it to him"

the explanation will go over his head

you'll have to be bland and watery with your words

you'll say "i love you but i can't do this anymore"

he'll look expectantly at you

but all he'll understand is that you are giving up

not that he has emotionally beaten you to the ground

not that he will never be able to love you as much as you do him

and it will feel like a long f
                                                 a
                                                    l
                                                      l,
                                                        your adrenaline will frighten you

but what you must learn is that

love is give and receive

not give and give and give until you have nothing left

he won't understand that

he'll argue that you're just too demanding

but isn't that always his response?

to blame you?

Leave him and find yourself.