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Ian Beckett Mar 2014
Gigi remembers the frozen ***** with flowers
If she likes you, you get to know her first name
Cuisine in the sky is now Armagnac-free coffee
Gilles conflicted by gourmetless veal burger
To be sure to be sure I have the rubber chicken
Made tasty with a reasonably decent Sancerre
Tacky blue tape repair to swivel seat and desk
I hope the engines not maintained like this
Captain tells us not enough fuel get to Miami
Heart beats fast wondering if First Class first out


Oops now falling fast……
Ian Beckett Sep 2015
In my mind I see you clothed
A beautiful vision of anticipation

In my mind I see you waiting
A beautiful vision of desire

In my mind I see you wanting
A beautiful vision of lust

In my mind is see you naked
A beautiful vision of promise

In my mind I see you with me
A beautiful vision of lovers

In my mind I see you come
A beautiful vision of closeness

In my mind I see you sleeping
A beautiful vision of passion
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
1,000 miles from the Merry Christmas muzak in Port Moresby
Fat Brisbane taxi philosopher’s poor mouth moaning season
Navan road Sydney AMEX girl pining for the cold in Dublin
Along with traditional stuffing of turkey ham and trimmings.  

10,000 miles to London via sticky Bangkok “Merry Clistmas”
And cattle class envy of First class lounge showers mid-flight
But Jetlag is the same nightmare at both ends of the plane
As we fly across the universe to be home for Christmas.

1,000,000 people flying to their friends and families
Do all those sad, glad, bad, mad once-a-year reunions
Make it to Happy New Year without killing each other
Resolving to be prosperous, viceless and happy again?
Ian Beckett Feb 2012
Minus ten in blinding blizzard at midnight
Snow insulation isolates me from feeling
Cold sensation freezes me from your touch
And a contrasting black emptiness inside
Is a deeper sort of empty for me now.
Ian Beckett Jun 2013
Plus thirty in scorching sunshine at noon
Heat insulation isolates me from feeling
Warm sensation fries me from your touch
And a contrasting black emptiness inside
Is a distant sort of closeness for me now.
Ian Beckett Dec 2012
Love is a gentle madness that leaves you empty,
You give everything and expect nothing back.

Love is a gentle madness that makes you feel alive,
You take pleasure in every little thing she does.

Love is a gentle madness that changes everything,
You feel your life is impossible without her near.

Love is a gentle madness that drowns your sorrow,
You swim in an endless sea of her tranquility.

Love is a gentle madness that brings you peace,
You hold her closer than prayer each night.

Love is a gentle madness that turns your world,
You see beauty as she becomes your only life.
Ian Beckett Jun 2015
Kid
Kidney
Necessary
Not a problem
Quite surprising
Question priorities
Think I am overthinking
Thanks for using it wisely
Want to say something but
Wish it was simpler than telling

I am proud of you
5 years ago now I gave a kidney to my eldest son
Ian Beckett May 2013
Cambio todo cambio is a song of hope
And new opportunities in love and life.
By embracing change we escape from
A prison of trivial things we love to hate.

Cambio todo cambio is a song of fear
And new challenges in love and life.
By rejecting change we can only be
Trapped by the things we love to hate.

Cambio todo cambio is a song of desire
And new beginnings in love and life.
By seeking change we can fly above
The small world of those we love to hate.
Ian Beckett Jun 2015
A bad day can catch you by surprise as
You wade through the sticky air of a slow day
Today I woke to a message that my flight would
Be almost a minute year late as AA922 arrived
In La Paz three hundred and sixty four minutes
Behind schedule and my day became endless
Slow seconds as time seemed to stop.
Ian Beckett Apr 2015
Thirty five years gone
But unforgotten

Momentous moment
But unbelievable

The evidence of living
But unstoppable

A collection of pride
But unconstrained

Things accumulated
But unimportant

Living love grows
But unregretted
Ian Beckett Mar 2011
Hot days, cold nights, warm bodies, soft loving
Your sunny smile is the magic in my rainy day
Your gentle touch is the passion in my night
Your total love is the comfort when apart.

Cold days, hot nights, soft bodies, warm loving
Your loving look is the happiness in my life
Your lasting love is the wisdom in my world
Your total trust is the fragile flower that blooms.
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
Neighbours resent the forced eye-contact intimacy,
Seat barrier raised despite friendly pre-flight hello,
Too English to be happy, too weird to be interesting,
Smiling Simon says, “Nice to have you, with us, Sir”.

Irish Grubeen, Mature Scottish Cheddar after dinner,
The port on London to Miami is strangely Stiltonless,
Scottish Tracy saves the day with First Class foray,
Admits she is a Lockerbie lass with nerves of steel.

Captain Lightfoot lands this little piece of England,
More gently than his movie namesakes ever could.
I count 55 Miami immigration stamps in my passport,
Maybe yoga would make this commute more fun.
Ian Beckett Apr 2014
Balance in chaos
Calm in desire
Discourse in energy
Escape in freedom
Frailty in greatness
Grief in hell
Hope in isolation
Interest in justice
Joy in knowing
Killing in love
Living in melancholy
****** in nothing
Night in omens
Openness in pain
Pulse in quiet
Quest in running
Rapture in song
Sadness in time
Temptation in urges
Unction in vain
Victory in wishing.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Narrow single fall-out bedroom fear,
Four poster dreaming fantasy love,
King size suite is playing-field empty,
Twin queens wondering if just for queens.

Hard or soft, big or small, no fun alone.

These sleepless thoughts caused,
By ever increasing jetlagged jetlag,
Which now feels more like hangover,
But incurable with a walk or hair of the dog.
Ian Beckett Dec 2012
She watches him across the restaurant
She likes his smile and easy laugh
She know nothing ventured
She chooses **** hello
She knows it works
She bumps him
She smiles

He laughs
He thinks “nice”
He wants to know
He knows a smile will work
He wonders if she will say yes
He likes the way she came on to him
He tries the pickup “do you come here often?”
She thinks that will never work with her
She thinks he is just like everyman
She thought he was different
She asks him “no, do you?”
She wants an excuse
She was mistaken
She says “Bye”

He looks sad
He asks her to sit
He says “even for me”
He looks deep into her eyes
He says “that was unnecessary”
He feels a hole deep inside him grow
He knows she is “the one”, he is afraid to lose.
Ian Beckett May 2012
Be-tubed in my silver coffin for take-off,
Bemused by passenger coping strategy,
Beloved by adjacent nervous new-friend,
Being away from you is harder every time.

Bewildered by the preying nervousness,
Be-crossed by maddening screaming kids,
Bespectacled study of the unending 1Q84,
Being away from you is harder every time.

Be-thinking of what you are doing as I soar,
Because appoggiatura in “Someone Like You”,
Begets a “Missing You” sadness deep inside,
Being away from you is harder every time.
Ian Beckett Dec 2012
I see the green grass with autumn leaves
The season of change and naked trees arrives
Again – without thinking we see the continuity
Knowing Christmas is around the corner
The birth New Year starts the cycle
After the death of the old year
And some of our past friends
Whose passing was real
Too real for
Comfort.
How
Do
We
“Know”
What is real
When everything
From movies to magic
Is just imagery of imagination?
The TV a parade of our new enemies.
1984 “Big Brother” is now a reality show
And CNN is our reality of disasters and wars
Until we visit the place and see that we are told
What our “Big Brother” wants us to know.
Ian Beckett Feb 2012
All my life I have been visited by a black dog,
Who brings dark thoughts of death and dying.
This is a coward’s escape in the light of day,
But no light penetrates the darkness I feel.

The decisions I make and the people I lead,
Who trust and respect the results I achieve,
The family I love and the life that I lead,
Make the challenge of now so **** hard.

At times this madness seems logical to me,
In the insecurity of fear that stalks me now,
But a mystery amazing to the people I love,
This secret unknown in my private distance.

The black dog leaves and with him my fear,
But I always remember him with respect,
And wait for the day when he will return,
And hope that he leaves before I escape.
Ian Beckett Jan 2012
Today your sunrise is a cold black hole,
The sky-black emptiness burns you blind,
Blue doesn’t care if you’re black or white,
There’s no drug to stop the pain of blue,
Tears are salt and blood is always red.

Tonight your night’s a star-bright stage,
A silver spotlight laser-lights these words,
Blind before the poet works a magic spell,
Tomorrow sunrise red and sky clear blue,
Electric-sharp your new addiction’s buzz.

Living your life in three dimension verse.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Change is living every second.
For me, it is the spice of life,
Proof that I am not dead – yet,
Living on the bleeding edge today.

Changeless, death by boredom.
For some, it is the sea of tranquillity,
Proof alas, that dead can also be alive
Living, but dying by seconds daily.
Ian Beckett Jul 2012
Our love is like
A flower in sand,
But water is not
Enough, nor wine,
To make it bloom.
We need the pain,
Of blood and bone, for
Metamorphosis, from
Sand to soil, where
Love grows strong,
In passion through
The pain of living.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
The smiling eyes like deep blue pools of love,
Delicious drowning feeling every call I make,
A flash of our seventh heaven lunch in Wien.

The lovely feeling of you nestling in my pocket,
Forever with me, good vibrations, but apart,
This lonely traveller is sleeping with you now.

Ten thousand miles, so far but yet so near,
Another week before my blue turns bright,
In your “Hi, good morning” arms again.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Woke up this morning feeling empty,
Faster than fire, slower than standing,
So far from home on this endless road.
Blue horizon slices this workday dawn,
Vapour vortex trails my hellish journey,
Living in very long seconds on this plane.
Hours to go before I sleep with you again.
Box
Ian Beckett Nov 2015
Box
Excuses excuses excuses is all I have
For putting you in the wrong BOX of
WORK and LIFE, work is so big that
Life is clipped 5 minute conversations
Between the garbage and rocks, that
Fill up my WORK box making you
An invisible corporate accessory

B
U
T

LIFE is not a rehearsal, and you have
Limits, so today when I came home
The BOX with you in it was empty

A
N
D

I am staring at wall in an empty
Room in and empty house, of the
BOX I had put you in thinking that if

O
N
L
Y

I had listened to my heart which made
Me feel so bad abandoning you to a
Priority that will be a forgotten tomorrow
Ian Beckett Jan 2012
Orange squeezed, tea brewed, bacon fried
Self showered, beard shaved, robe wrapped
Wife kissed, tea brought, eyes rubbed
Juice sipped, toast munched, day discussed
Sugar stirred, tea drunk, watch checked
Kids rattled, cornflakes spooned, plates emptied
Mum fussed, kids grumped, teeth cleaned
Noses wiped, shoes on-ed, lunch packed
Stragglers awayed, byes waved, friends greeted
Office called, PC packed, car started
Wife snuggled, door closed, journey begun.
Ian Beckett Feb 2017
The air electric with nervous anticipation
She has a chaperone for a civilized coffee
His smile breaks the ice with “ciao” now
Spanish steps descent in nervous chatter

Ascent with butterflies and a sublime kiss
Bedroom explorations as two become one
“Will we” devil battles with “we won't” angel
Their eyes tell of bold Cupid’s lovers spell

Breakfast chocolate kisses in romantic Rome
Tosca may have jumped but they fell in love
Checking out cannot mask their parting pain
How long will it be until we meet again?
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
It’s over 50 years since the day the music died
The Winter Dance Party tour ended for some
On that cold winter’s night at Clear Lake Iowa.
It was Buddy, Richie, Jiles and Roger who died
But the party went on for Waylon and Tommy.
Bus or plane was a flip of a coin or a fever too hot -
How did they feel, did it change their lives for ever?
Ian Beckett Jan 2012
Butterflies before you sit the final exam,
Butterflies before you go for a job interview,
Butterflies before you ask her out on a date,
Butterflies before you kiss her for the first time,
Butterflies before you propose two will be one,
Butterflies before you meet her family,
Butterflies before you see her all in white,
Butterflies before you make that big speech,
Butterflies before you see that your baby is OK,
Butterflies before you get news from the doctor,
Butterflies before you lose your job again,
Butterflies before you face any little crisis,

But -                                          

No butterflies for breakfast.
Cat
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Cat
A dog is for life
A duck is for dinner
A dragon is for barbecues
A friend is for inspiration
A fish is for relaxation
A frog is for kissing
A cat is for ever
because it has
nine lives that make
it ideal for experimentation
Ian Beckett Aug 2015
Is
For
Skiing in
Winter and
Hillwalking in
Summer, but for
Having fun anytime
  Like a nearly impossible
Challenge on the six minute
Planpratz ski-lift requiring you
And your best friend to shed your
Gear and join the mile high club while
Claiming she had the best 30 seconds of
Her life
Or so
I am
Reliably informed.
CHAMONIX – on a weekend hillwalking with my resident friend I hear the tale that the “Ski ***” thing to do is to shed your ski gear and have your wicked way with a willing friend on the six minute ski lift trip to 2km Planpraz.
Ian Beckett Feb 2012
My life is full of choices I do not want to make,
If they came a little slower, I wouldn’t feel so bad,
But I sometimes feel I’m drowning, when they
Come from every angle, so I really cannot breathe.

My life is full of tricks, that I use to help me cope,
My favourite is my iPod, of which I have a few,
I listen to my music loud, so nothing can intrude,
I just repeat a favourite bar, a hundred times
Or more, it’s like a drug to me because, I need
It all the time, sometimes I forget and bring
It in my bath, which makes the man at Apple
A very happy man, because I need, a new one
Every time, the price I think is small because,
It protects me from all those choices, which
Would simply make me sad, and I can make
The ones I want to make, exactly when I wish.

My life is full of choices I do not want to make,
So I suppose the iPod washing is because, it
Really is my tap, to let some choices in, and stop
The drowning feeling, which too many choices bring.
how my adult son Alan - who has Down syndrome copes with too many choices
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Monday party night with Mad Fish and friends
Conversations buzz of annual friends’ reunion
Christmas cheer as enemies are friends again
Complex confabulations as wine wisdom flows
Midnight truths all revealed in vino veritas
Eccentrics leave early, party animals at dawn
Tuesday late unslept sleeping son on Dart
Brains slow to restart despite espresso kick
Hangover no handicap to present-wrapping
Inbox full from friends Happy Holidays hellos.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
The agoraphobic need to clutter
The empty spaces in
My life with
Needless

&

Endless
Junk is the
Un-relaxing discomfort
In my struggle for a simple life.
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
Climb to the Cristo
Crystal clear Cochabamba

In Sunday sunshine
Sin stubborn steps

Teleferico is tempting
For thumping temples

Fretting feet feel
Fear of failure

Challenge completed
Cold beer calls
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
A spiral galaxy of cream in my coffee dream
The dark caffeine universe my sunrise today
A bridge between waking and sleeping again
And the morning paper’s sadistic nightmare fun.

A milky way of latte mixes with banking binge
The espresso speed of the incredulous ****-up
Front-page stupefied, newly poor church-mice
Await another failed pension rescue bid today.

A drip, drip, drip of freshly brewed Colombian
Aroma comfort a promise for work-less workers
Catastrophe curious seriously seeking employ
Vladimirs and Estragons still waiting for Godot.
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
Waves crash into our lives in an uncomfortable reminder
That living life is much closer to survival than we hope
We watch as floods wreak havoc with disconnected concern
Thankful that fate meant it was they not us this time.

Waves flood into our memory like a bad disaster movie
That losing life is much nearer to probability than we wish
We watch as winds break boundaries with a guilty glee that
Tempts fate will make certain that it will be us next time.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Sophistication is the refuge of the complicated,
High maintenance, it’s someone else’s fault,
Infecting everyone with their little paranoias,
A black hole, taking all and giving nothing back.

Simple pleasures are the friends of the complex,
User-friendly, reliable and rather iPod-like,
Touching everyone with their magical dreams,
A desert oasis, giving all but getting even more.
Ian Beckett Dec 2012
We are connected to this life by many threads
Which we only notice when they are broken
Whether family, friends, work or welfare, all
Pull us apart in different dimensions in time.

You are connected to me by small pleasures
Which we only notice when we stop giving
Whether interest, intent, wish or wisdom, all
Pull us apart in different dimensions in space.

We are connected to each other for ever now
Which we only notice when we are apart again
Whether travel, trust, freedom or failure, all
Pull us apart in different dimensions in love.
Ian Beckett Sep 2015
I am thinking now of moments
We were together in brightest
Darkness where the light of
Passion illuminated our lives
With the sharpest contrast
Between our lives apart and
The heights we climb together.

I am thinking now of the moments
We are apart as an unending grey
Darkness where the light of
Passion is absent from our lives
With the blunted emptiness
Between our lives together and
The lows we feel in absence.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Crisp white waiters serve you smiles in Haitian time
Going native on Saturday night with Lambi Creole
Ti Coca rhythm band beats the music of tonight
Running fast will be a heart attack in this old town

Red neck cops dine with plain Jane UN girls
Touch in weekend lust and hopeful smiling eyes
Local white eyes shine in contrast colourful love
Slow down chill out and move to the music now

Pétionville to Paris seems a million miles away
A tense post-carnival gloom sets into Cité Soleil
As naked kidnap victim runs free in desperation
Different worlds in this blinkered rain-soaked town
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Yo te amo abiertamente
pero tu no puedes ver esto
por que tu estas buscando
en la dirección equivocada
solo dá la vuelta ahora
y tu verás.


te amo en silencio
pero tu no puedes oir esto
por que tu estas escuchando
en la sordera del silencio
escucha nuestro amor ahora
y tu oirás.


yo te amo completamente
pero tu no puedes sentir esto
por que tú estas tocando
algunas veces la tristeza
sosténme mas cera ahora
y tu  sentirás.
Ian Beckett Dec 2014
Came
Looking for JR
Found a long drive to
The car rental lot for start.
Was hungry after ten hour gig
Not disappointed by Bob Old Time
Steakhouse with a don't **** with the meat

Attitude

Stonebridge signature sandwich in a bar
Pandering particularly to the over
Enthusiastic soon-to-be stars
Who are anonymous
Examples of an
Unforgiving
World.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Mid-winter solstice, cold dawn,
The shortest day is the longest night.
Day grey skies, walking on rain empty beach.
Night bright carolling and mulled wine warming,
Friends’ festive mood balks bank depression,
The world turns and the days get longer,
On this 3rd rock from the sun
In snow-cold Dublin.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
The guilty truth is we choose to deceive,
Sometimes to please, sometimes to win,
From our five hundred Facebook friends,
To that convenient little lie on our own CV.

And we think ourselves the un-guilty ones.
Why, I wonder, do we succeed in deceiving
The deceiver in this manner? Is it because,
We are at heart black both inside and out?
Ian Beckett Mar 2015
The love
The lack
The leash
The lesson


A way
A wish
A waste
A welcome


I drink
I dream
I decide
I die
Ian Beckett Jan 2012
A slow death, in eons of unremembered moments,
Like a dark star, she collapses into herself every day,
Fragments of her past memories intrude sometimes,
Incomprehensible now, like they are all in Russian.

This existence she hates more than life itself,
Flowing like an unending river, towards a sea,
Days of sleep, interrupted by family strangers,
Wearing her precious necklace and others’ clothes.

At times I am "Who?", until her son is introduced,
Which produces a "Happy to see you" smile, and
Complaints that no one ever comes to visit now,
She is living in a nightmare of empty spaces.

Her now ungraspable tranquillity, her living hell,
Punished for imagined sin, she now doubts God,
But wants to go home to Him, to ask "Why?”.
She believed the childhood promise of heaven.
My mother lived with dementia for 15 years ... Now she can be remembered for who she was again.
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
It could be the end of the world as you know it,
When change is a crisis that decolours your life,
If you choose in your blindness to only see grey.

You know nothing has changed, and it’s just
Your perspective that turns day into night, but
It could be the end of the world as you know it.

It’s hard to see good when the news is so bad,
With everyone nervous about what is to come,
If you choose in your blindness to only see grey.

Go back to a place when colours were bright,
Unless you can see that things are not really grey,
It could be the end of the world as you know it.

Try recolouring your life with Instagram intensity,
And switch back and forth to see it’s your choice,
If you choose in your blindness to only see grey.

Repainting your world with your mystical mind,
A perspective that is more balanced than true, or
It could be the end of the world as you know it,
If you choose in your blindness to only see grey.
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend
But at the cost my dear, at the cost
Of never boring them, you are their
Entertainment, they are your love.

Diamonds if they could talk would tell
A causatory tale of distance and dirt
You, a perfect diamond, a pure light
In the compressed dirt of their lives.

Diamonds reflect the compression
Which is the brevity of our lives
What remains forever of a passing
Love that would be forever distant.
Ian Beckett Jan 2012
I am now less than the sum of all my parts – in pieces

Like bits fell off something stopped working - strange

It’s like I am coming apart at the seams - breaking up

All those parallel things I do every day - disconnected

Hotel was booked for the week before I travel - dumb

One thousand euro lost due to card cloning - careless

Plans change I end up in the wrong place - drowning

People run away and ignore my requests - abandoned

Projects symphony becomes a cacophony - confusing

I feel like Alice going down the rabbit hole - dissociated

Normality is absent now as I spin around - breakdown?

My perception of the world has changed - problematical

I better get someone to glue me back together - quickly

Otherwise I will become invisible and irrelevant – not good

Like a set useless parts with no instructions - disassembled
Ian Beckett Nov 2012
Rain-blinded laser-focus on lights in front,
Always one second from impact, or worse,
A zombie living death of three more hours,
Slow down, let the mad and the bad pass,
Blindingly oblivious to their impending end.

This driving rain seems now inside my mind
A black cold cloud wraps my beating heart
With its unforgiving tendrils, it is a mistake
To think  that it is always better to travel,
Than to arrive, in this driving, dying rain.
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