when you’re living in two places at once
you're really not alive anywhere .
when your body is here,
and your heart is spread across the country,
and your mind is lost far out at sea,
you’re truly nowhere.
for when your body isn’t wrapped up
in the sturdy arms that claim it as theirs,
when you aren’t dancing together,
its just an empty vessel, a walking shell.
and when your heart is straining to reach
across mountain peaks and rivers and forests
its no longer able to love, to grow, to sing
its stretched so thin its barely hanging on,
its as hollowed out as the grand canyon
that it struggles in vain to jump over.
and when your body is empty
and when your heart is hollowed
your mind will wander far out of your reach,
it will sneak aboard a pirate ship,
and all of your faith, your courage, your sanity
they will be pillaged, and your mind will rest there
out on the high seas, with villains  that look like friends
and it will drink their ***, til the bottle runs dry.
and you surely won’t find that runaway
before it sinks to the bottom of the dark ocean.
and there you’ll be,
without body
or heart
or mind.
and you still won’t be
with the one that you tried so hard to reach
that you emptied and stretched and sank yourself,
only to find out what you knew all along:
that when you’re trying to live in two places
you’re really not alive anywhere.

its said you can only lose
what you call yours
you can only miss
what you hold onto
you can only remember
what you choose not to forget.
so in the hazy moonlight
of this dreary summer night
ill be letting you go, darling.
ill release my love away, into the sky
ill watch it dissipate in the thick air
floating away on a soft breeze.
and ill breath in deeply,
holding the scent of us in my lungs
and when i exhale, nothing will remain
but my empty, barren, wasteland.
and that too, i will surrender into the night.
leaving just a distant memory of memory
of what once was, but  is no more.
and soon this dream of a dream will pass as well.
and i will be here, now, breathing.
and i will not feel loss.
and i will not long after you.
and i will choose not to remember
the part of me that i let fly away with you.