Open your palm
Let go of the shell before you squeeze it so tight that it breaks
You never have to do anything you don't want to
Live that truth
Tattoo it on your chest  for the moments when you're standing in the mirror staring in disbelief
It is a stark reminder of the strength you had that day
If it speaks to you let it speak. Listen
If it fits, settle in
Open your palm
And put the conch to your ear
Listen

Is happiness a feeling?
A filling?
Making space for something
that has no presence
no weight bearing

Raise balled fists high
and whisper
I am okay with this
I am content in this

I will love her
In the dark
When her salt cracked grin
And rough limbs are all she has
holding her together
I will love her

When she wakes in the morn
to a body that is not always akin
to the way she feels within
I will love her

When she falls asleep
with death's hand draped
over the small of her hip
I will love her

When he answers
and says he's busy plus
she's using this phone right now
"I don't really want you to need me
but you know I'm here for you"
I will love her

When she loses sympathy
for the ones who can't seem
to find their way out
cause ya know she "had it hard too"
I will love her

Self love is unconditional
And unwavering
Remember that

Home is in the bones
The red marrow you create
The hair above your lip
The bones that define your hips
The rough hands that feed you

Cracked feet that walk the earth
Woman human man being
Your being is all you
And when you close that door
Peel the day from your skin
And slip under those sheets
remember
You are the only home
you'll ever come home to

We met when I was still child
Too small in mind,
eyes wide for a beauty like hers
Is this what it's like to meet the woman of your dreams cause 'I could never..'

Remember she is human like you
Bleeds from open wounds
Cries into the night for mercy
Poops up a storm when she's nervous
Prays to the same ancestors on this continent called turtle island/atzlan
Remember she is woman, like you
Nothing less, nothing more

Creator
Send me a lover
with hands
worn with cuts and ridges
that know their limits
Both bold and timid

She is so weary

O Allah
Guide her
in this decay

In this body, alone
I am home.
Pull my own hair
Bite my own tongue
My heart is no longer at "vacancy"

I miss
the feeling of home
in my skin
I feel like such a foreigner here

****** herself on my thorns
As a reminder that real pain exists
But herein lies the problem:
Sometimes I think she loves the pain
more than she does me

Intangible
Mutable
Fluid as firmament
Salty water in cracked palms
Constantly flowing past its boundaries
and retracting
Better to dam(n) it than drown itnit?

Letting you go
for the better of me
Letting you go
so the better I see
You were always the part of me
I couldn't keep

Mother, forgive me
I have not been reverent
Burned your sage without ceremony
Tore your sweetgrass in haste
Greedily spread my roots
and drank your water
without giving thanks
I am both the feet that touch the earth
and the earth itself
Mother forgive me for not remembering
Forgive me for straying

Misread her intent
Took her hand
and led her into the murky waters
Held her down
and watched her blonde tendrils spread
Called her Ophelia
Noone cared to ask what she meant
When she said death was fulfillment

It seemed
She would leave her palms up
For anyone
these days

My writing is strained, these days
I bite my thumb
And try to refrain from penning your name
But see
Even now I've given in

She loves so easy
Can't you see her pisces heart bobbing in the waves?

I am a frayed edge
Unraveling past the seam binding me
Multicoloured threads peeling away
I pray you see me
for the tapestry I used to be

Sinners cast out of heavenly firmament
I may still be wringing my wings
But do not miss take this moment of reprieve as a slip
His fingers trace closer to her lifeline
My senses cry mischief
I've met your kind
Newly downed gods
licking fangs in anticipation
Gods' forgotten are not naive
to your ways of rebound recreation

I can smell the bones of my ancestors

Brown hands in brown Earth
Assimilate this broken soul
into ground from hence it grew
Perhaps death will be pleasant

death is so near to me
How could you ever love
something so dark?

My time is not meant for those who pretend to know me because they have seen an untanned patch of my skin
Do not etch me into your wooden bedpost as another tamed *****

Titles are not awarded for time served
and ***** licked in fits of feverish lust
Not your girlfriend barely a friend
Do you even remember why I was crying last august?

Ask yourself:
"Could she be loved without the need to wither her leaves?"

Warm waters beckon me
Dipping toes then belly, filling nose
Soft world muted and gentle
Drown me in lore of lovers past
and unknown