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holyoak Sep 2014
i learned a long time ago
that too much pressure
on the strings of the violin
would ruin the melody
but with too little pressure
the music you create
is inaudible
so which is it?
did we come to a shrieking halt?
or could you never hear us at all?

[holyoak]
holyoak Sep 2014
i'm the bone that you broke 
that never quite healed 
the same way again
familiar
yet slightly out of place
then you asked for a storm 
to break you in a familiar way
so i gave you silence 
and it was more 
than you could ever take
i write so much about grasping
at things i can't hold onto
like your hand 
since it's been slightly out of place
and now i'm not sure 
if i've been talking about you
or myself
they told me that the ink on the page
would replace you eventually
but i think i'm writing in your blood
and once the poetry 
is out of my system 
my veins will dry up 
and i'll look just like you

[holyoak]
  Sep 2014 holyoak
Tom Leveille
she was leaving
and got the gumption
to see me before she did
so we went to dinner
she sat, crumpled
at the edge of the booth
playing with her silverware
hands sweating
our knees barely touching
underneath the table
they shook like the day we met
they shook like floodgates
when the clouds get upset
her hair was drawn back
into an apology
and she didn't answer
when the waiter asked for drinks
she pans, tilts
looking for the restroom
but doesn't get up
covers her mouth
to hide her furled chin
i cut her a piece of bread
not sparingly
i didn't want to ruin the symbolism
of cutting a gangrenous thing
from ones self
she half wept out "tell me a joke"
i thought to say "look at us."
that's it. that's the joke.
the premise & the punch line
sharing some silence
here in this ominous moment
so thick with goodbye
you could touch it
i said "when they asked what the name was for the wait, i should've said "awkward, party of 2"
but that's not the joke
"knock knock"
she whispered "who's there?"
i sat for a moment and said
"so we've come full circle.. we're even in the same seats, from all those months ago"
her lips quivered
and she hid her mouth
"i just wanted to hear a joke"
she said
i came back with
*"if i fell for you in a quiet restaurant & no one was around to hear it, does the laughter of children i drempt we'd have make a sound?"
  Sep 2014 holyoak
Kayla McFarland
our love is my daily coffee
the first thing i look forward to
in the mornings.

the only difference
is that i can't add sugar
when our love is bitter,
and you've always had a thing
for liking your coffee black.
holyoak Aug 2014
you're the kind of girl
that they write books about
i always thought you were fiction
but i can't even remember
the last time i finished a good book
i always drop it at the ******
maybe it's because
we never reached ours
speaking of not being able to finish things

[holyoak]
holyoak Aug 2014
i'm holding your breath
so you won't leave me
and i see you slowly suffocating 
i'm too selfish to let go
so instead i suffer with you
i feel your lungs straining
and i ask you to take me in
like i'm the last drag
of your last cigarette 
let me fill your collapsing lungs
the ones that are crumbling into each other
the way we did
i was always your nicotine
and you always knew 
i'd be the end of you
but you couldn't quit me
i always knew
this would end
i'm an addiction out of style
we always knew
we would consume each other
in the worst of ways
so i'll tear you apart
from the inside out
we've always known 
that the smoke in your lungs
has my name on it
i've become a disease
i guess that makes me cancer
or at least 
something just as vile
just as ruthless 
just as deadly
just as selfish 
at least you'll remember me
i guess that all describes me
and i guess the smoke 
describes you too
and it describes us
how we drifted into each other
stealing parts of one another
and setting off again
losing ourselves
but gaining new parts
and maybe the point
is losing yourself in another 
but if we're the smoke
then we're the cancer
we're just as vile
just as ruthless 
just as deadly
just as selfish

[holyoak]
holyoak Aug 2014
you felt like music in my bones 
then suddenly you changed keys 
i was out of tune 
and we forgot the words
it's four o'clock on monday morning
and all that's left
is the memory of your head
on the pillow next to mine
it was here
like this
that we used to listen
to all my favorite records
but I can't now
because when the needle hits the vinyl
i start thinking of you
it's the early hours of the day
when the streaks of morning light
break across the clouds
that I realize
i'm not a morning person
i'm a mourning person

[holyoak]
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