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 Jan 2013 Holly W
jeffrey conyers
It's close to midnight.
When he calls.
After not calling all day.

He ask you the stupid question.
What are you up too?
Would you like some company?

And like a woman not thinking.
You say sure.
While your mind tries to advise you.
You should have said no.

He arrives within thirty minutes.
With a smile upon his face.
He hunger for you.
Yes, he wants you badly.

Which is sad.
Because he using you for his own benefits.

A wise woman knows the tricks.
She would have advised him not to move to quick.
As much as he think he's getting in.
She would have told him to be just friends.

But wise is not you.
Cause, what he has you want too.

Which is sad.
Cause in the morning he will be gone.
And again you will be alone.

Which is sad.
Cause you loves to tell friends that you're grown.
But move quick when you receive an unexpected call.
 Jan 2013 Holly W
Skeptic Tank
I've trudged the tracks of righteousness alone
And walked the walk of wickedness with grace.
I've done things I cannot now condone
On either side-- you'd see it in my face.

I thank god for this life which I have wasted
And all the gifts which it has given me,
But how do I repay when I've not tasted
The lavish love of such an old decree?

"By faith" you say. I say "you have it all,
For I'm not one to disbelieve my doubt
But faith? Oh, please don't make me lol.
Betrayal changes what men are all about."

Perhaps god's nothing. I'm fine with it;
Ex nihilo cogitatione fit.
Whilst standing in a sea of faces
Tears inside me leave their traces
Fear shadows me like clouds
And gives birth unto doubt
And all around the sounds of voices
Inside I feel I've lost the choice

To live to die
To smile and try
To seek the meaning of my life

Yet within comes a soft wisper
Choose me
Choose life

Death beckons me to change my mind
To leave the sadness all behind
To let  this mortal life go by
Yet my soul still cry
What truth arise to let this lie
Within my confused mind

And a dove upon a branch up high
Beneath a cloudless sky
Brings peace unto my weary mind
As if to say

Choose me

Choose life!
 Jan 2013 Holly W
Jennifer
The little boy
Growing into his own shoes,
His very own big boy pants too!
He has premature features that
remind me of someone... someone...
But who?
A sincere childish smile with
Protruding teeth that melts any passerby
What about his popping belly?
To rub,
To feel during his hugs,
To love love love!
It really does remind me of someone...
But let me tell you about his nails
How they always seem to be just too long
Or the way he blushes when he's caught singing a song
Silly little boy with nails too long,
soft fingers, and growing hands
He might tuck them in his pants
The way Daddy does
Girl crushes and science tests and soon
Those big boy pants will walk him out to middle school
His charming retainer lisp will soon fade away
And remind me more of Dad everyday
They share a name
My dad's pride and joy
He's his mold, his little boy
The way he reads, even holds his posture
And all the little things just like his father
For my 9-year-old brother after observing him and my dad eat their breakfast exactly alike; them completely oblivious.
All armies are the same
Publicity is fame
Artillery makes the same old noise
Valor is an attribute of boys
Old soldiers all have tired eyes
All soldiers hear the same old lies
Dead bodies always have drawn flies
Moving on.
I hate the phrase.
You just don't understand,
That my mind is a maze.

I'm alone and I'm scared.
I need someone to be there.
To tell me it will be okay,
After I've dreamt of you.

Do you not yet realize,
How bad it hurts
To have to get out of bed?

I don't have the luxury of wallowing in these sorrows.
I have to spend 7 hours thinking about you,
And normal high school things.
Then go home, just to think of you more.
  
You just don't understand.
What you think is moving on, is my dependency on others to survive. I thought you understood that?
 Jan 2013 Holly W
undefined
tonight has turned out to be
a huge turning point in my reality
more focused on the future than the past
a big wake up for me has happened the last
couple of hours midst the hectic chaos
i've truly found something new for my life to weigh on


i know that it must sound odd
for you to imagine
that i've found something more than god
for me to believe in
but life is strange sometimes
and when you're at your very worst
the most unlikely people can pull your face
up out of the dirt


but tonight i'll sleep for whatever it's worth
and tomorrow is a brand new day
that i'll be facing head on
 Jan 2013 Holly W
Damaged
Its just another sleepless night.
Alone.
Honestly though, Im used to them now.
Surrounded by darkness...reminding me of everything I try to forget.
Tears roll over perfectly rounded cheeks as I cry out to the darkness.
Makeup stains cover my pillow. Dark black smudges.
My thoughts race.
I think of a million things at once, but at the same time
nothing.
I get tired of the darkness so I turn on a light.
I need something to do.
I look around...search.
Find my crimson stained blades.
release
I put the blades away. Hiding them. Saving them for another day.
I turn my lights back off.
The house is deathly quiet.
Everyone else has been peacefully asleep for hours now.
Peace...I wish I could find it.
Insteaed I just lie awake in bed like all the other nights before.
Wondering;
will I ever know normal sleep again?
But I think my bodys becoming used to it,
because when the next day comes...Im not tired.
Physically...
emotionally though Im exhausted.
Every morning I have to get out of bed, get dressed, and fake it.
Pile on the coverup to hide the scars from my sleepless night.
Will it ever end?
Will I ever know sleep again?
 Jan 2013 Holly W
John Jordan
I'm
crying
because
you left me,
like each tear
leaves my face,
the tears are falling
as you're falling for my grace,
a tear falls, slowly clinging to my skin
as I'm clinging to our love but it is the end,
In each tear is a memory of the love of you and I
as each tear is leaving my heart is saying good bye
In the 1st tear is your smile that makes my heart melt
the 2nd is your touch that's the best thing I've ever felt
the 3rd is the glint in your eye that shines like the sun
in the 4th is your lust for life that spreads to everyone
in the 5th is your faith in yourself, me, and humanity
in the 6th is your compassion and your empathy
who knows how many tears I will have to cry
before my heart can finally say
good bye
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