i worry about him all
the time*
i told you and
you shook your head like
you knew all too well

eleven nights later,
you tell me to get some
sleep, you say i worry about
you all the time

and i'm starting to think
it's code for people who
are trying to say 'i love you'
to someone who doesn't
love them back

"Let's make snow angels"
She said to the boy

"But there's no snow...it's summer"
She laughed and lay down in the field
Spreading her legs
And throwing open her arms
As the grass shuddered
And surrendered
The shape of heaven

"There," she said and
Stood up
Walking away into
Her own silhouette

Leaving the man to
Stare at her outline
In the empty field

you said-
thinking about the stars
makes me feel so small

but we sat there 'til we
were shaking in the cold,
and i had never felt
bigger.

I have always loved you.

I imagine us 30 years down the road.
I am massaging your shoulders,
relieving knots.
Life gets me in knots too.

I've put the kettle on
I have my own key now so I come and go as I please
like the old friend I've become.
I feed your cat when you go away at weekends.

Smelling your pillow
Remembering you at 40.
Your dressing table
as I pictured it.

I have my own family now
but I met you 10 years before I met my wife.
I rode the wave of your smile,
came crashing down
the day you announced you'd met someone,
holding out for the real thing.

For; I was just a boy,
what could I deliver apart from newspapers
and the odd dodgy innuendos? you laughed at
tossing your hair.
Humouring me
but,
Never letting on that you cared.

I slip away every second night
when the second hand rests between the 8 and the 9
and it is quarter to 10.
I am on my way to see you.
We play cards and toast a drink into midnight.
Sometimes I reach for your delicately aged hand
twiddling with your rings,
knowing mine would have been the sparkly one.
But not a patch on you.

We lock eyes for around a minute,
My throat is dry.
Telepathically I tell you
I have always loved you.
Whether you are 45 or 75
I will always love you.

i think maybe i only love you because
you're older, because you have large hands
that have held more than mine ever will

(or maybe it is because instead of choosing to
hold the world, you chose to hold me)

Pt. I
Longing for your
lonely fingertips
The taste of the space
between your breaths
Slow sips of
Your coffee lips
My Hands
Your Hips
The bite
The kiss
The marks you left
When I couldn't get you
Out of my neck
Screaming off my chest
In the morning
We meant it harder
Than tying our tongues
in goodbye
a new record
inside your cheek
where you hide the most
beautiful smile alive
before you dressed it up
to oppress the rest
in an ironic twist  
of fate

Pt. II*

I was listening
To *The Decline
On the way home
From your place

I felt like I might do the same

But the moon was rising
and it looked like the Death Star
In the distance

There's still hope somewhere
it reminded me
To keep finding what I'm looking for

The country roads always
look more beautiful
When Mother Nature
Is dying
To fall apart
Gracefully

Don't we all wanna fall apart
so gracefully?