A silent night, disturbed by your feverish search for something unknown.
You reached for me, holding the silver marker in your hand and drew me close.

You began to draw upon my ebony skin, the ever darkness a wonderful contrast to the silver at hand.

You flicked your wrists here and there till you art was complete, creating a sea of stars on ever inch of my chocolate being, I was the universe. In that single moment I was everything that was needed to even exist and that was when you whispered " I cannot breathe without you."

I need to lay in your arms. Where the smell of forest resides and moonshine leaves its dust in your hair.
Where the illumination of your loving heart breaks the ice within mine
Where safety is completely defined and completely true
Where happiness is ready to embrace me as I fall into your love
Where the darkness can do nothing but watch with envy as it hands cannot reach me anymore
Let me lay in your arms.
Where the certainty of peace will forever be

**** your eyes
The way they look at me
Peeling off my skin and revealing beauty
The way those lips testify of my glory
One which I never knew
And your words birth me anew
Like the saving fire of a pitch black night

Your hands never felt mine before
But they understood like they were born together
As though our fingers were locked in a silent embrace from time
Yet they were not,we were not

I fall back into myself some days and you grasp me just in time before I am swallowed
I still know that magic does not exist
It does not need to when you are around

You are many colours
Even exceeding that of a rainbow
Your eyes shine bright with the past experiences that no man can know
Your hands delicate yet strong
A true rogue flower that is beautiful yet capable of unknown strength
You are a wonder
A rarity in this disturbed world
A true fascination always ready to catch those stumbling
A true rogue flower
Though I write this with sleepy eyes
And a pain that makes me double over
Thinking of your purity in a tainted world feels me with joy not even the stars know
A true gem in a large universe
I thank you for being a true friend

I was meant to be your crutch because you bruised your legs..
Yet I walked away just as you were about to put your hand on my shoulder
The voices steered me away and even though my heart relentlessly told me to go back and pick you up, the voices muffled it's sound
Even as my soul also told me you were on the floor..unsupported.my head was fixed to the front
You always thought I was the strongest fighter ever to be born to this earth
But I wasn't.. I failed
I let some whispers that were all in my head dictate how I cared for you and that is not right.
Poetry may not solve this...maybe nothing will but maybe one day you will let me dust off the dirt that gathered when you fell

I sit and ponder of a world without you
A world were I could no longer walk in your footsteps
Or smell you in the air
A world where the flowers didn't desire to remind me of you
That world has a name and it is called
Hell

She could feel her heart racing
The euphoric moment as she landed between death and life
Her hair tangled across her sweat beat face
Her limbs getting weaker with each breath
She began to shut her eyes
As she let the multiple abysses welcome her senses
She coughed
Again and again
Until all she could taste was the metallic taste of blood in her mouth
She clasped her hands as though she could save her escaping soul
She couldn't

I clutch my sheets around myself
Screaming into eternity as I blow my last breath
I cannot tell if you are watching me
Because my eyes have been scratched and my neck has been broken

I jolt like a twisted locomotive
Creaking the bed,slamming it against the wall
I lose myself in such a frenzy Of my own soul
I'm caging my senses
Caging everything as the beads of sweat grip my body as they find their new home.

I dance a new dance of fear
Of uncertainty and possibly insanity
This record has played for weeks, it'll keep going

I should not dream so much about you
Yet I do
That even when I close my eyes,my slumber calls out your name in the dark
It tangles it's legs in thoughts of you
And even when I have days I try to pry them free
I still fail,because you cannot untangle your soul,you cannot untangle everything you are without drawing blood
And I don't want to bleed

I was a teardrop before
Until I grew into something more
I became waves
I became torrents

I was a trickle before
But now i rush towards light
I was nothing but little hopes
And now I am the dreams

They say a love so young can only dream of growing old vines and lasting in the withering weather

That the cold stones of pain and sorrow will certainly crumble it away

That it shall never see the purple and orange kiss to create the evermore glorious sunsets

And yet here we are

This is not a poem but a thank you.To all those who ever read my poems or liked them.Those that followed me and messaged me.Those that reposted my work and added them to collections of wondrous bliss.Thank you,without you  my motivation wouldn't exist so strongly

I have come back from a dream
I may have left my heart there
Underneath a butterscotch seat
And behind a lollipop tree
But was it that dream?
Or was it the one with fragile tales?
Tales of young mistresses who lost some limbs
Perhaps their entire beings
Or was it the dream where the unicycle rode the man and they went to town to get milk that could drink the cow?
Or was it underneath my dreary pillow this whole time?
My mistake victor

I never meant to fall in love with you
But I did
I let the music of your soul lure me into sleep
And the slumber is good
But I also never meant for you to be so weak
For me to lay awake in bed and dream off days when your feet can touch the ground and you won't stumble
For when you are free

I never even meant to meet you,it just happened on a day my tears were not lucid enough
When my ribs hurt from the constant pain of my agonies
And there you were, but who were you?I did not know but I am glad I wanted to know
so please don't leave me..I  still need the stable grip of your hands and the warm kiss of your lips
Please,because losing you would unravel who I have become

I wish to hold you my king.and love you like we are stuck between dawn and dusk

Is it fates way of telling me I deserve the universes I have yet to discover
By lacing my soul with yours?
By making my happiness that did not exist
Raise to the stars and kiss the blackness of skys

I waited for an eternity to be exposed to a love as raw as this
I begged for a century more for it to last as this one seems to grow roots deep

The untitled are my dreams
They lay there without ambition to cover their cold skins

The untitled are my joys
They await bravery to explore them

The untitled are my passions
They sit in a cave away from the world
Without sunlight to bring them forward

The untitled is me
For i am both afraid and hopeless
Yet I still find a way to exist

The wishing well is too far deep
That I think my wish got stuck
And now vines grow around it
Choking out the will of my dreams

Writing my future
And reading my past
Fixing the present
Hoping the tears don't last

Bewitched are you
maiden of hell
Cast out in your drenched robes
for kingdoms you fell

Onyx eyes
and precious lips
Thinned hands
but luscious hips

Bewitched now
are those around
Captivated now
by your transfixing sound

Raising them up
to believe your every word
Watching them kneel
As they crown you lord

Like the fire I wish to breathe
one which shall corrupt my lungs
and stale my eyes
burn away my lashes

Is the same way that I crave you
wanting despite all I know
a blaze that will take away my life in a river of flames
a blaze that will scorch everything of my physical body
yet leave my soul intact,untouched

I want that fire
even though it will kiss my finger tips until they burn.

You let happen what you think should happen

I want to ride the sky like it's going to die
And hold the clouds
Like love cannot deny

Sometimes it's best to give the weaker vessel a win of a battle so the disappointment after the war will be greater

words refuse to die,
so do not give the wrong words life

I learnt once you stop writing poetry for that lightening bolt
That when you do not formulate for those numbers illuminated in red
When you are not afraid you will be the only one to see your words
Your poetry with be beautiful

I may not be good
Not good at writing poetry about moonlit nights and cradled stars
I may not be good
Not good at painting scenes with words that seem from another realm
I may not be good
I may not be good at kissing your blood and bad memories away
But I still do try

Nothing is definite
Not the blood in our veins
Not the air in our lungs
Not even the love in our hearts

All are subject to change
Either because we have shut our eyes
Or we are six feet beneath the flower stained earth
Or perhaps the world has shown us it is not worth loving

Bless me with that smile
A thousand stars hidden in the chest that is your..well it is your secret to keep
Among others,so many others
And yet I do not mind
I would go blind
And I would go deaf
If that would make you feel safe enough to utter your secrets without worrying
But dear prince my arms will always be open
To catch you
Because you did not leave a glass shoe behind
You do not have long flowy hair.though your dark mane is enough
You did not bite into a poisoned fruit
And you were not put to sleep for years
But I would still kiss you everyday
Cherishing the thought that my lips will always bring you back to life

The sun was just enough that day
And not because I could feel it on my skin
No,it was barely visible
But because it merely existed
So too the singing of the birds brought about a euphoric dance within my eardrums
And I pictured these birds in every colour,including some that unicorns only dream about
I appreciated the pavement beneath my red worn shoes and the way gum stuck to it for dear life,afraid to fall into itself
And I appreciated you.
You hadn't said a word.but you were just standing there
And that was enough. Always

He weaved me with delicate fingers
The fingers of an artist old yet new
He told me to give my heart freedom
And to never cage my emotions
He told me I was free
And that I was never a mistake
That I should just be
He caressed his way through my hair and past my ribs
Untangling my secrets and my shadowy fears
He kissed his way up the roses of my dreams
And yes he planted a garden in my chest
Tulips,Daisies,dafodiles and more
And he wrote me poetry.For every day I was sad
And felt I deserved more,
More than just the floor keeping my weak body up
He just was

A person like you does not exist
If they did then the air would be sweeter
And the grass would be greener
The sky would be clearer
And happiness would be nearer

A person like you does not exist
If they did hospitals would be empty
Everyone would be off duty
There would be peace and no more mutiny

So a person like you is too good to exist
If you did the world would rip you apart

I close my eyes still,hoping you will be behind them
I reach out my hand wishing a drop of your love would fall unto my awaiting palm
I purse my lips praying that tender moments would embrace them again
I wrinkle my nose begging that those smells of lucid dreams and purple roses would fill it once more
I twitch my ears thinking that perhaps they had deceived at last and that truly all this time you were behind me

He will love you like there is no tomorrow.
Hold you like you are the last hope on earth.
Touch you like his fingers haven't experienced the gold that is your body.
He will praise you and raise you up like the highest mountain.
Display his love for you in torrents of unspeakable affection.
He will treasure you as though you are a rare gem,
One that so many explorers have tried yet failed to discover.
He will remind you of how beautiful you are
And how you deserve the space you occupy in this world.
And he will always make sure you realize just how truly special
And cherished you are and make sure you don't feel less important than you truly are

Just be air
Just be sky
Just be grassroots and tired flowers
Just be sun and moon and stars
Just be rivers and streams and seas
Just be pain and heartache
Just b3 wondrous and unattainable
Just be hopeful and hopeless
Just be

Dreams don't hurt unless you want them to
Even nightmares coated with screams and quicksand won't hurt unless you want it to.Unless you forfeit all the power you have in the slumber real.

But why should you?

She turned into a baby with a bottle in her hand
Her small hands clasping the glass,then reaching for the bottle,the bottle almost bigger than her mouth
The guilt filling her tiny stomach and killing the taste she wanted to use to forget.
But what should a baby barely able to walk need to forget?
Memories of selfishness and blood stained nights
She rarely cries now but when tears trickle down they are because she is still not used to the sharp pain that punches her chest as she downs it all
A baby with a bottle
A baby with a bottle that she can't recognise the words on the label
Yet she drinks on
More determined than an adult
As the dark mists of depression swivels around her fragile head

That dust beaten ground welcomes your body
The vines of yesterdays sins wind round your legs
And you wait
You wait patiently for the tender ground to open its graceful mouth and take you uponits ttongue and swallow you into the venue of darkness
You dig your toes into sand and lay awake  star searching,yet you find not a single map to Venus
So as the wind howls,you sing along
Hoping that the mermaids far and wide can be kind enough to write you a Requiem to sing over your worthless grave

When you heart is bleeding know when to stop
When the tears are spilling over know when to stop
When it feels like the whole world is sitting upon your chest and you cannot be bothered to even try know when to stop

Because if you don't
Your heart will explode
Your eyes will go blind
The world will tear your chest
And you will realize you will see all the beautiful stars above you,you will hear the wistful birds and feel the velvet soft grass.
But it will be too late

Destroyed am I?
I cannot tell
For when I loved you
My heart would swell

Broken am I?
That's a lie
For when I loved you
I never did cry

Lost am I?
That's not the truth
For when I was with you
My passion took root

Angry am I?
No,I liked the allure
But I also learnt that I deserve more

You see that blade?
Oh how it likes to torture me
But I let it,only because it promises of something better
Something to can stop the intern pain the wind gently strokes

I run it down my skin and oh yes does it feel good
Yet it also feels bad as I watch the crimson leave my now opened cave
I'm opening a cave for the demons to fly out
However they do not fly out
They sink their teeth deeper until all that fills this world are My screams

Then I fall
Unto the putrid ground with only sweet sorrow to my name and memory

I do not know you,
But this is for you,
Look at your friends
Their love is true
They cannot bear to see you cry
As they pray you do not die
As I look around
I see so many you have touched
You are loved beyond what you may know
So please Andy do not go

To blow out the candle burning in the spiteful darkness
Is to wait until the feverish snake devours my toes and kisses my bones

I cannot allow my only light to be snatched
Leaving me to hug a shroud and to wait for the faint sound that will signal my end

I instead shall burn a hundred candles,a thousand if my hands are not tired and burnt.
Coaxing the darkness out to die by the hand of light

I hear the cockreles signaling night is gone
Saying 'wake up you slept for too long'

All those sleepless nights
I would lay awake
Hoping you would knock
As my hands did shake
I tried to let music move me
As day would break
As the clock would move
And it hit quarter past eight
There was no end in the waters
Not even at the lake
As I would cry
And those sweet buns would bake
Life seemed so slow
Almost a mistake
As I realized you were my little fruitcake
But now as I lay here
The final moves I make
I breathe in
As all those many pills
I take

My cell door seems tighter than before
The weak hinges mocking me with their glittering faces and beautiful posture.

Even the ceiling that was once dull and brown seems so pristine and glowing or is my misery lying to my eyes?

The blankets I have slept on for a dozen years are cold and wet and yet I don't know what bothers me more,the stench that stings my eyes or the fact you are not here to make it seem like rose beds.

The warden could not walk before,his legs broken or was that his heart?he looked at me with grief most days and cried others..now that you are gone it feels as though he laughs while his dim eyes look at me,his smiles as if mocking my loneliness.

Finally the little bird that used to sit on the tree..far off with bright blue feathers yet with an ugly beak came to me,its eyes glowing with mischief a song on its tongue, telling me it knew you were gone and I had to start counting down the days when my legs would give,my soul would rip and my love would fade.so I took it in my hands quietly caressing rhise feathers and snapped its neck. For no creature could understand how lost beingg without you made me

I look down with my tear stained face
Do I walk away and let you be
Or do I dig with my fingers,dig a grave to lay beside you my dear and wrap your bony fingers in my icy ones
Or do I leave you be my darling?do I let you sleep?even though the night will settle upon my flesh and eat me like acid once I step aside and let you be covered.
The dirt will be the lucky one..it will be able to touch you for eternity,at first your flesh..dotted with freckles and uncertinity,and your lips as they have dried with your secrets.
Then it would carress your finebones,bones no other has touched except God when he molded you effortlessly and dropped you in my lap
However now my lap has grown tired and weak,you do not sit on it anymore.You do not exist

Its almost Christmas and time for snow
I just hope my scars do not show

When the trees have popsicles in their hands
And pure white covers all the lands

When golden sparks are dotted in their eyes
With cheer and laughter and surprise

Its almost Christmas,time to shine
Grab the pie and grab the wine

When music plays and all shall eat
When they move their hips and move their feet

Its almost Christmas for all of us to share
So call our names and we'll be near

When we sing and we dance
When we live like its our last chance

Its almost christmas do not forget
To be nice so your wishes are met

Those drunken nights
Spent on the streets
Those drunken nights
With tired feet

Those drunken nights
Spent with those bottles
Those drunken nights
Craving warm cuddles

Those drunken nights
Talking with your demons
Those drunken night falling asleep for eaons

Those drunken nights
When all seems ****
When you die more than you should

i honestly never understood how they can say you cannot breathe without someone.Oh you can breathe but the point will be that the breathing will be so painful you may start to wish you lost that ability.Because it will feel like a thousand universes are sitting on your chest yet your eyes are shut too tight to see their beauty,and you are okay with that.And maybe that is where the danger really begins,when you are content with seeing gray,blacks and white and you have put a ban on the colour spectrum threating to rip reds and blow up yellows.Then mountains begin to make homes in your head and their peaks begin to snow on your heart that had already forgotten what a warm ribcage felt like.The stars at that moment that had forged within your eyes over the months start to die out all at once and you are left standing alone in the dark once more,clutching unto the air as though it is a banister that can save you as your knees give in.Finally,finally every part of you gives and you are still awake as the weeds begin to grow on each part of you that their touch always brought to life.