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Mar 2011 · 919
Sleep
As the cold wind finds it way to my aching skin
and the night owl give in to loneliness
my body sinks in to shoothing comphered
my mind unfolds...unplugs...let's go....
My heart knows it's home
and somewhere he thinks of me
and I know he dreams of me
my eye are swallowed by blackness
blind and numb
Til tomarrow.......
Til tomarrow.........
Til....
Tomarrow.
I've been Gone for some time, what the **** did the do to this site???
Jan 2011 · 849
Sleepy boy
My eyes are bruning like the sun that is coming though my window
my battey Is allmost dead
I want coffee
I want sleep
I want HIM...

You fell asleep saying You  need more in life
it's not my folth

me does not = drugs
you mead you choice
you broke her heart
you said you love me

I'll never let go
I'll never say goodbye
I'll never give you back

so you want more out of life???

Just yesterday we said all we need is us a bed and enough to smoke
now you miss you old ways?

*******

and I will too...
He'll chanch his mind.
Jan 2011 · 1.9k
Did I just blog?
If I had a blog what would it be ?

Would I blog about twitting?
Tweet about texting?
Text about bloging?

Will I sip on an organic double frappuccino?
Will I miss MJ?
Will I have a tea cup Chihuahua?
Will I hate the hills?
Will I be dealing with   bulimia?
Watching TMZ?
Liveing green?
Will my iPhone my big sunglasses be in my   louis vuitton handbag?
Will all this be something to talk about?
Will it still be "in"?
Or will outher things that I hate take it's place?

Will my blog be overrated?
Or will only old ppl like it?

Or will it be, anti-social anti-fashion
I hate everything even myself
self mutalating artsie fartsie
wannabe rabel who are also AS over rated

whatever...

((If I wred this blog, I'd hate it))
I wrot this 2008, never thoght I'd post it anywhere
Jan 2011 · 766
Sweet angel
Such beautiful stitches
they dress you it seems
and shows me how real you really are
like a fallen angel cut by the sharp edge of a shooting star
beauty painted with beauty
ruined yet Inproved

Ugly more touchable
now that you're wings have been removed

so much like me, now that you're scared
so much more unclean,  Closer To my heart

now that you're in the Gutter
a maggot like me can crawl all over you
distroying you

eating you

slowley....

Till you are festered and frayed

I am you're maggot sweet angel...

I will consume you now.
(written in 2009)  I'm a strange girl.
Jan 2011 · 1.2k
invincible
I'm  invincible
I'm ******* invincible

I can jump out the window and fly
I can breed under water
I can walk in traffic and the cars will crash eachouther but not me
I can stand on a train trak and when it hits me it will crumble I will walk
away

I'm   invincible

I can go forever without eating
I can stay awake for days
I can say whatever I want to and it will never mess up the episode
I can rip out my eyes and still see you
I can cut out my heart I don't need to love

I can look at butterfly and they fall and die
I can you at you and you feel the I use
befor I was invincibul

everyone says I'm crazy
but don't want me to know
what great power I have

I will see every funeral
I will see the apocalypse
I will see the great rapsher
in the END ther will be only me

I will
never take the posin pills
hear the word you speak
I don't have to do anything

I'm invincible
I am...
Jan 2011 · 2.0k
10 years( a cutters story)
When I was 12

I cut for the frist time I used this little
sharp thing that came in this manicure set
I don't know why I did it but I can remember
my hand hanging over the bathroom sink little drips of blood falling from me I staired in to space I can still feel that dead feeling
Latter that year I cut in front of my friend I did not think she was looking, she **** my hand and " oh my god, dude did you just make that happen?" I should be I shamed I would be now, but then I think I may have been proud, it got worst I cut everyday
mostly my hands. One day my older brother
asked what happen to my hands I said his cat had scratch me
a really bad lie cuz rocko would never hurt a fly,
and he new cuz he told my mom right there and then
Ma, I think she's cuting herself, I was so panic that I don't even remember what she said, but I did not stop
mouths later I think it was in Jan of 2001
I was at my sisters house and I must have had a scrach or scar showing
I reamber what she said, my hand are shaking tyeping it,
"Why are you cutting you're self little *******!, you know that bring the devil he likes that!, little did I know those would be that last words she ever said to me cuz she died in feb that same year
and know it's crazy but part of me will allways blame me and my cutting,
and i still think of her when I cut, I don't have to tell you that did not stop me,

whene I was 13

I don't think I cut much wich is do odd cuz it was the worst time in my life, insted I dressed like a ****, got drunk, talk back to my famliy and messed aroung with grown up guys,  and started writeing poetry
but I never cut.

Whene I was 14

god that was I really bad bad time I'm pretty shore I was crazy
I was convosed about my sexuality and gender,
i shaved my head started dressing as crazy as possibal maybe get ppl to look at me, maybe to scare them away I don't know.
but I cut, I cut I LOT! I can remember locking myself in the basement with my KORN and SLIPKNOT CDs turned up so load no one can hear my cry, I craved an anarcy symble in my lag, and fell asleep on the liveing room couch, my mom saw it and freaked out, she asked me if I was crazy?, gay?, if it hurt?, all I did was turn over and go back to sleep.

When I was 15

everyone just knew I was crazy, I cut be with the head to toe black
dog colers and books on the cruch of Satan no one really nodest, but I knew, it was takeing over my life, I had so meny cut on my arms that
ther was not a part of my skin that was not scabed red or swollen
but I did not stop.

When I was 16

I lot of things about me chanched at 16
but it was hard to say what they where
i remember one day I staired in the mirror so long
I could not stand mr face and more I was enraged
I was allwas sad, but now it was anger I did not want to see
any part of me or my life any more a hated it all so much
I tryed to blind me self, with narr hair remover, I put in to my eyes
it was the worst pain I ever felth, and when everything started to look gray I was scard and for the frist time sents my sisters death
I prayed to god not elfs or the vampire ruler
but god, and it stop the bruning the grayness stoped
and from that the I never said I did not believe in god, you can call me crazy, but I think I should'ev been blind.
but I never stoped cutting,
just mouths layer in the summer I can remember
being dressed like a latex dominatress, I craved the word nothing in my hand that word ment a lot to me it was my seventh name
I never thoght anyone nodest but when I came home one day
2 of my 3 brothers and my mom where waiting like an intervention
they asked me why?, what does it mean?, my father asked if I " really worship the devil?" I just said I do it cuz I'm crazy and never said anouther word,  but I did not stop cutting.

When I was 17

my life was sleep cutting and poetry and nothing more,
I lived in razor blades and notbooks, I can remember one day I had 2 cuts on my arm my uper arm, but I must have forgot cuz I did not
where a swater to the dinner table, my brother the same brother
that nodest when I was 12 got up in a rage and went in to the ketchen with my mom and was yelling at her " did you see the cuts?, did you see thies ******* cuts, he did not think I heard no one did but that mead my cry so hard, I'm and will allways protective of my mom, I hated that she was getting yelled at for something I did, but than she starting blameing everyone but me, I craved a heart in to my hand and she went if in my neice say "did you see her do this?"
now my cuting was everyone pain
but I did not stop

when I was 18

I did not cut as much but whene I did it was bad
I used broken glass it was my favoret, and I cut placeing
that never showed, when I  was dressed,
and I looked normle just like anyone els
nothing dark of freaky about me but if you saw me
naked I was a masacare
and I did not stop.

When I was 19

I had a hole deffrent feeling like nothing I did
was good enough, I'm not like everyone els my
age, I allwas had this thing where when ever u was outside
and someone laughed I thought it was about me
if they looked at me it was cuz I'm ugly
or just a freak, at this time it was worst
cuz I realize not much has chanched in my life.
I got my shoulder once I was one my computer
and my dad asked what happend I said I got cut when I was
moving things in my room all he said oh I thought
you where doing something weird, talk about being the last to know.

When I was 20

I only cut twice that year, And my mom seemed to think about it more that me but in a defforent way "what are you gunna do with those scars?"
shed allways say, still does no mans gonna wanna marry someone with
unexplainable scars on her body, I allways found that shallow
and cold but I did not completly stop cuting.

When I was 21

I had an inter deffrent soul or at lest a new mask
in lost wight, trund blond, for the longest time replaced
poetry with make up, try to perfect most ppl thought I was
even me, I was bublelie that girl who laughed really loud
with butterflys in my bedroom and boys on my cell phone
mirrors and make up, it kinda the new obession cuz I can feel it taken over, and no one knows it  they will never guess it
but I did not stop cuting

now i'm 22 years olds

sometimes I feel so fake I wanna scream,
I don't reconize me anymore, but I never like me anyway
I can't understand how I can want those feeling back?
I mead so long, how can I just stop?
Cuting is part of me, as much as I want it gone
then why did cry so much, more then the blood
why do I feel so worthless saying
I did not stop cutting...
Every word is true, I never told anyone any of this
I never will,
Jan 2011 · 508
I feel it, I really do.
Sometimes I feel like the devil cut me open
and riped out my heart and guts
put himself inside of me
and sewd me from the inside
and no one knows it but me
Jan 2011 · 606
He sings
Why do you allways sing?
I asked half asleep and watching as he shined polished or cleaned
some mechanical car part I did not reconize
or really care about,
I mostley focosed on the tone of  his voeis as he slerd the words to
turn the page
he looked up at me with only his blue eye
why do I sing? Why, does it bother you?
I did know what to say becuz I did not know if it botherd me
so I just pushed it off with a fake smile
so what was with you yesterday?
I rolled my eyes, I did not want to talk about this or anything...
But he did not stop
huh? Did I do something wrong?
I laught and for a minute it felth like it might be a natural feeling
but he did not do anything wrong he can't if he tryd
and now I know his singing does not bother me
it brings me to life....
Allmost all of my poems are for him...
Jan 2011 · 820
<3 ZoMbieS FriEnd :)
Eaten inside I swar that I am
you riped me up and left me bleeding
I reatched for you with my last breath

HUNGERY
for the love I can not see
HUNGERY
for the compassion I can't truely understand

but I still Injured I crawed to you
dragging pices of myself behind
pices outhers will only kick away
push aside or even crush benieth there feet

without thought
without motive
without the simple act of Surprize

now I am NOTHING

not even the mirr fraction of a soul this festerd flash held Yesterday
I AM SOMETHING LESS then vermen
LESS then the Carcass
I am the MAGGOT Consoming the corpse

w
This is one of my newer poems written sometime in December (2010)
pweez comment.
Jan 2011 · 829
RISE
RISE off the ground cuz you are BETTER
better then the insects the crawl
RISE off the ground cuz you are BRAVER
then the SICK and The COWARDS that fall
cuz you growe in the womb of a princess
ROYALTY but she was not told
and you came form the seed of a gentleman
that was blind when he **** the roung rhoud
RISE like the sun does each morning
even when it gets cold
RISE cuz the rhoud beneith you needs room
so it may unfold
get off the ground
FOR YOU ARE GODS CHILD
This is me on my soapbox, trying to be insperationa
( bad bad spell, sorry)
Jan 2011 · 561
...Woe it's me...
This sorrow compleats me
like fuel to the flames
you anger it feads me
I'll forever play you're games

I'm barried in kaos
and I not break free
or dig myself a little hole
so that I mat breed

I'm suffercated from you
you've swon thes bright eyes blind
now I'm invisabul

Without you
you're the only thing that's mine

this sorrow it is me...
This poem makes me wanna puke
Jan 2011 · 1.3k
Meg griffin
Meg cuts herself I can't believe
that....
No one reacts to my poetry...
It's like weading to my mom...
I'm Meg
I'm not sayin I cut my self
or that I don't...
I did not say anything
I'd like to have some comments on my poems

I have allmost 800 followers on twitter

I bet meg has one
that geek that love her...
Lalalala elmos world!
Jan 2011 · 710
Pretty
I use to have a friend but my she is DEAD
dyed with 16 butterflys in her head
she was starved and skinny
bleached and blond
but she NEVER smiled...

Her brother was a gansta WANNABE
when ever I saw her, he looked at me
I never knew why she hated him
I never understod why he call her MAGOT
or why being her friend ment i shall
NEVER look at him...

Her mom left 1 week after her was birth
she wished she was barried in the dirt
I guess she never held her
I guess she never loved her
all I know it is she ONLY called her *****
and only saw her 1 time
the 2 of them and crystal in there lungs...

Her dad was kinda scary
he drove a big big truck
he was a big big ****
he showed her how to play getar
and how to fight
he showed her how LOVE him
and how to HATE gerself...

But now this girl is dead
choked on her  blood
drowned in her  tears
cut in to SO meny pices
broken like she allways was and now to Roth...

I had a friend so beautiful
so fun and so alive
and the truth is she is not really dead
we only wish she was...
Is this a poem?
Dec 2010 · 553
My demize
It was the end of the world when I saw you
you looked at me with the reflection of flames in you're eyes
you extend you're ****** hand to rise me from the drit
my body still unclean today

by eachouther side we mead ore way through ore beloved remains
rightious in a daze
and blind by are own tears

We trial of agony behind us
that was followed by each and every soul that blessed us
blessed us with this river of inacents blood
we lay on dying grass

and with you're last breath you told me you're name
with dark eyes, and ****** lips
you told me you're name was demize

DEMIZE
(Written in 2007)

comment please :)
Dec 2010 · 592
Untitled
It all bleeds from my head over the walls
I try to bleed but they just was not high enough
can't teast what I have hidden away
the secert passage of time
or be it as it may?

Sounding like a stoner
need it not be it

I try to understand FOCUS
on the dark part FOCUS
on the lost part FOCUS
scratch the whisper in my mind FOCUS

feeling  Excited yet weik
it comes from the sand

DON'T REACT
QUIT!
Bring it all out of me

falling....
Falling......
Falling.........
Say it again & again

SUFFER

hold it underneath
little red sneakers

TENDER

Quit...can you hear it?

Just a strum of you're guitar
do you really know the real me?
Why is it you look so uncomphterbul?
To me we all look exactly the same

DO IT!

So we forgive & forget
and move on
so scary how together we seem to melth away
and if you blink you miss it
then feel it on the flore
time is just another lie

unsatisfactory

DON'T BELIEVE IT

skito 666
This was never a poem, just the writing I do to calm myself
it's allways scary things I don't even remember
or understand, sometimes it's good so I hold on to it like this one.
Written in 2007
Dec 2010 · 512
And now?
I bleed to shed my sorrow
& now as I'm bleeding
I can teast the fear
only now that you've pruved yourself to me
only now that I can nolounger breed
only crawl to the warmth as I suffer
as I beg for you're mercy
as I lay benieth the
smoke of the  world burning
my intyer world set a flame
my everything
my everything is gone forever
Written in 2007
Dec 2010 · 673
Grim Ruins
In the land i've created all is unwell
its residents slowly decay
be it of starvation or a broken heart
one by one they whither away
no angel Hovers above above this dime lite sky
in fear they to will fall & lay broken on this crused ground
for wich I now walk today
this black gloomy land wich I have named
the stars too do not shine
for they've  drowned in they're tears
watching  helplessly knowing
we will NEVER be saved
yes the world I've cerated it's only hope is to be ruins
and finaly go up in flames
FALL let it FALL
be washed AWAY....
Eco friendly
( go green)
Dec 2010 · 496
I told myself
Forever ending never IS NOT
you my friend however FORGOT
I'll name you Helena LIKE ME
and practis all the evil WE SEE
you my friend are unaware YOURE BLIND
all the  hate you don't care CANT FIND
my name is Helena LIKE YOU
I know all you're secerets IM YOU....
Dec 2010 · 522
And now i'm nothing....
You  where the varry essence of me
                   when I knew myself
not the bleach blond waxed painted
        shadow of the preson I was
  But the deep, dark, hungry, youth
       full of expression art & tears
But you went away taken me with you
leaving me shallow with nothing to feel
  nothing but make believe, unlike you
you are truth, beautie, soulful passion
                          That is you
                           PASSION
           that ran thrugh my vains
       peniteeding me with realizem
feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling,feeling......
Sudenly
I find love in you're eyes
           for the first time
   there is wormpth beneith you're hands
those hards dangerous hands
      tenderley yet hungerly
coress my skin leaveing me yet again borised
only now I'm kissed by those lips
lips that ounce crussed me
       leaving holes in my soul
    holes  that I never thought would heil
now they kiss me & it's the worst thing you could ever do
becuz tomarrow will turn back the hands of time  
    & I will live yet again in yesterday
where you're hand will bruise
me and you're words will eat a hole in my heart 100 times more then ever becuz now even after the *** runs dry
I
  L
     O
         V
            E
                 You
Dec 2010 · 585
~December~
So cold
let me call you December
let show you how I feel
let me emphty my self of resin
let me wash in red tonight

sinner
you mead me you're little copy
you mead me you're bedtime snack
you mead me a prisen in side my heart
and I live in it today

lover
you're eyes where allways on me
you're lips scar me
you're voeis owns me
you're child grows inside of me
you're body crushes me
you're mine,

shadow
liveing in the darkness
holding on to nothing
eating tears for breakfist
smoking posin to forget
rapeing little girls
crying now you're human
sleeping next to me tonight

little boy
no one ever thought you
nothing ever fazed you
I'm the only one that saw you
now I'm the one who make you cry

funny
may I say no more
may I bleed no more
Dec 2010 · 572
The poet doodeling
The poet doodeling doodel Dee doodel dumb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
             Inspired by a dead mans words
          I scrached my mind to find a tear
            I serched my heart for creativity
                     & my soul for anger past
shallow I fall to mediocre phressed nonesece.                
       a reddle that makes me feel at home
               an ink stain on a blank page
                   like the person I'm not
                            it's nolonger me
   DoOdel Dee DOodel doo Doodel DumB
Dec 2010 · 570
Mistake mistake mistak
I have something I need to tell you,
but I don't know how it will make you fell....

I think I don't want you to look at me anymore...
It makes me feel UGLY.

I still feel you on my skin
I still teast you on my tounge
I dream of you,

YOU ARE STILL THE WORM IN MY HEAD

I can't just go back in time
when you where my bedtime story
my hand too hold
my hero
my milk
my love

YOU CANT LOOK AT ME ANYMORE

it BURNS my skin
it TURNS my stomach
it brings tears to my eyes....

I KILLED US

— The End —