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Helen Oct 2015
I sneak inside your mind
and tiptoe amongst
the broken glass
skirting around
disassociated thoughts
watching arguments
you thought you lost
sitting in the bleachers
of the upper reaches
of your subconsciousness

I find
I'm not the only spectator
that dwells within
your mind

you sit next to me
****** bare feet
you whisper softly
you're in for a treat

See that white knight
upon that fiery steed
that's you
waiting, for me

Waiting for the battle
sitting so calm
here I come
upon the darkest horse
ready to do you harm


I sat quietly in the stands
of your twisted tournament
holding onto your hand
waiting for spears to rend
skin from flesh
tear flesh from bone
waiting for blood to pour
from an empty wound

but the white knight
did not advance
just sat quietly
in saddle
waiting for a chance
for the black knight
to fall, stricken by
a ghostly lance
It was the white knights
chance, to catch him
as he tumbled
and fell

and there I dwell
inside your mind
you tumbled and fell
*I caught you in time
It's been a bad day...
Helen Oct 2015
do you know what it's like to be the only sane person to live inside insanity? To know that your world is not tricked out by delusions or illusions of normality? do you know what it's like to awake to cries in the night, waking with a heart pounding, dry throat, wretched hope knowing that your throat is unaffected but you lie next to the displaced, affected in their nightmare and all you have is two arms to hold them tight and one heartbeat to place beneath their ear giving them a semblance of life? do you know what it's like to know reality and wanting to wish someone normal only to realise that your normal could be more damaging to a mind that broke at the apex of their life? those of us who think we are sane as we hold the hand of those that have been proven into insanity are more broken, as we look into the mirror suspended above the vanity that leaks with a faulty faucet, we picture ourselves as saviours, but let's face it, we're as faulty as the hand we hold, as the tears we dry, as the tormented screams we hear as they cry except, we are the Sane, the undiagnosed saviours of the souls that we love, we just find it easier to hide our pain
long term carer of a PTSD Anxiety Depressive who is my heart and soul... Some days I wonder which of us is truly Insane
Helen Oct 2015
I've got your kids
I've got your wife
in a stranglehold
I've got your life

I've got your joy
I've got your smile
I'll take it all
in a small while

I'll take it all
in a measure of time
through the splits
in your heart
and the cracks
of your mind

I'll mask all your grief
with a tiny white pill
I'll set your loved ones
free
once you lay still

I've got your family
I've got your friends
they were easier to
persuade
the feelings should end

I've got your hopes
your wishes, your dreams
locked inside a prison
crafted by you, it seems

I've got your mentality,
your morality,
your questionable
standing within society
so, don't dally
What's it to be?

Signed

**Your Anxiety
Helen Oct 2015
always remember,
words spoken,
especially
in anger,

can never be
Unheard

rarely
Forgiven

but not
*Forgotten
changed a bit from my FB post but the sentiment is the same...
true story today and it *hurts*
Helen Oct 2015
I've written over
two and one half
hundred thousand words
some in kindness,
most in blindness
some in anger
some in Love
said with tongue
in cheek

some I wished
came from above
most have come
from below

but just so you know

Each word was wrenched from me
mostly from an open chest
Each syllable that falls from me
lays openly, coming to rest
at your feet, laying on your lap
clinging so hopelessly to your neck
hoping you will never take back
the thought, the sentiment
the words I would use
to describe
the journey that bought you
to Me
on a path I must walk back
*in order to survive
words mean nothing unless the words mean something
Helen Oct 2015
we had different opinions
but the moon set us right
we see the same silhouettes
under the same filtered light
we saw different shadows
but the sun saw new meanings
we danced beneath the moonlight
in shadows that were fleeting
searching through my October 4th poems I found this one unpublished... from 2 years ago, from Private to Public I leave no stone unturned...
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