you put my mind through hell
you're killing me, man
but all you care about is who's having *** with you tonight
I constantly thing about you
but you only think about getting laid
your love is actually a drug to me
its toxic and im dying
but you're too busy
worrying about who's gonna be
******* you tonight
to see how much you're really hurting me.

We talk again
5 months later and sadly,
nothing has changed.
You are so oblivious
how crazy in love i am with you,
you share with me the girl you wanna bang.
Do you have too much respect for me,
or do you think I'm ugly?

I'm missing you
and I bet you're feeling nothing.
I crave your cigarette tasting lips
and I want them for myself.
I am so jealous of all the girls
that you share your beautiful body with.
I am so sad on this August night
because you still aren't mine.

you promised it wasn't wrong
you told me that it wasn't a bad thing
"it's only a game" you said.
after we played the "game"
it was the 3 year olds fault
you told me I was forced to keep playing
or I'd get taken to jail
you told me it was a fun game
no one would get hurt
you told me to not wear my pjs
we both couldn't wear clothes
you told me it was just the rules of the game
you put your hand on my bare skin
told me I was beautiful
but we could never tell
it was only a game for 2 players
no room for anyone else
and you started to get further
you said now touch me
I hesitated
and you were so forceful
you said
if I were to tell anyone you'd have to **** me
you threatened your own 3 year olds life
because you didn't want to get arrested
you know its ******* illegal to mess with children you **** head
*******
******* for all the pain you caused me
you ******* messed with my head
but you didn't ******* care at all
you thought it was okay
because it was relieving your "needs"

I let your life take control of
my actions and thoughts
because you were all I could
think about

the drugs you made me
consume were making me
not the same me that
I really wanted to be

every time you kissed me
it was like poison being
injected inside of me
and I was addicted

the words you spoke
made me feel like
I was something

but now im nothing
and you are my everything.

how dare you be able to tell me
that my everything wasn't good
enough for the life inside of you
I showed you any part of me
that you wanted to see
I just wanted you to be happy
and now you want me to be dead
life hurts
and I ****
im sorry

gabhajanans

the acceptance letters were sent
and I was so excited
because I thought my writing
was worth something
to people.

but all I know now
is that im just another **** writer
that thinks writing is a
job and not a hobby

well im sorry
but I wont make a living
on writing stories about
my love life.

I still think about you
as you lay in peace
6 ft under the ground
tomorrow is your birthday
you're going to be 56

and that's breaking me
I wanted you to see
me grow in every way
im sorry that you
were in so much pain

just promise me
on April 9th and 10th
you will be there with me
when im performing
my heart out
in remembrance of you