Heidi Mason

Heidi Mason Feb 2015

family

how am i suppose
to feel most comfortable
around a man
who i call my brother
who fights with me
until im on the ground
and im at no return
and still hits me one last time
while im already
not able to move
because of all the pain
he causes me
and then when he breaks my
little "emotion" system
and then tears roll down my eyes
and they cut like a knife
he looks at me and laughs
then freaks
when he knows
there is no way
i want to live through another day

My brother and i just got into a fist fight it wasnt even that bad its just im weak and cant take pain

Heidi Mason Feb 2015

Untitled

I hope you know
that you are the reason
I want to die.

Heidi Mason Feb 2015

the four letter word

love
hate
like
date
the words that are four letters long
tend to be the ones we don't talk about
in front of our moms
I could never tell mom
about the things i love
because love comes with happiness
and I don't feel happiness
I never could tell mom
about the man I hate
because it was the same man
she was in love with at one time
I never could tell mom
about the man I liked
because the thought of
seeking her approval for a guy
I've already fallen in love with
would hurt me too much
I could never tell mom
about the men I date
because it was already too late
and if the guy broke my heart
she would probably hit them with a rake
14 years down the road
my mom has never heard me
mention an emotional four letter
word to her
and that makes me feel ok

#feelings #fourletterword

Feb 2015

Dark Jewel

Too attached to Love

When he's so close,
My heart races.

When he is so far away,
I have separation anxiety..

This is when I know,
That I love him too much,
To let him go..

Guess I'm too attached.

Feb 2015

Creep

funeral

People tell me that what goes on the internet stays there.
Well then.
I'd like to say one thing.

If I were to unexpectedly die,
At my funeral,
I don't want people to be sad.
I want them to be happy.
Rather then mourn a death,
Just picture me traveling about somewhere,
Maybe in Shangri-la,
And instead,
Celebrate my life.
I can't stand seeing you sad,
Smile, dear.
It warms the heart.

Sorry I'm weird. I just wanted this out there, in case I were to get in accident or something and I pass. Don't take this as a suicide note, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. I just want this out there though.
Oh and I want punk rock or classic rock playing, preferably mcr or fob. Sinatra works well too.

A dream is a wish your heart makes
Fron the cinderella movie soundtrack.

Heidi Mason Feb 2015

to the man of my dreams

as I sit on my porch
drinking the cup of coffee
in my favorite black cup,
all I can do is be reminded of you
and think about how
I want you
to be able to sit by my side when
something so beautiful
just like you
appears in the sky
and I want you by my side
but you're 200 miles away
and that makes me cry
but maybe before I die
we can sit on the beach
with coffee
and watch the sunrise.

#boy #dear #sunrise