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  Sep 2016 Harsh Sandhu
a m a n d a
i find it vexing

when you decide
not to
use words.

...and there are
so many to
choose from.
string together 9 or 10
and you begin
to bridge the divide.

you can even
sing them
scratch them
type them
take photographs of them.
there are ways.

you slam down
strange, wordless barriers
choosing a route
sure to cause
and disarray.

i don't know
how true it is
to say
that actions
speak louder
than words...

it is hard to
glean intent
from an action...
one does not
necessarily always follow
the other.

it is in this state
of guessing,
of chaos,
of fragmentation -
that i constantly
find myself
entrenched in.

it causes a glitch
in my system...
this endless

and i can't help
but believe
if i had the words
if you
gave me the words
i could construct
a story.
an understanding.

and there is nothing
i want more
than a
good story.
a connection,
an awareness of
the way
things are supposed
to move together.

i keep getting stuck.
i keep having to
construct all my own stories,
and reinventions.

i don't want to
have to work so hard
to piece together
this disaster
of human

this exquisite search
for meaning.

this heartbreaking
each other.
  Jun 2015 Harsh Sandhu
Her clothes race to
the floor while they're
stripped off by him.

She's left in his room
naked again. He kisses
her soul before her
gentle skin.

While sunlight covers
them from the cracks
of his window. He sets
music in the background.
A solo violin.

While he drenches her
in kisses from head to
toe making the seeds
trapped under her curves
to bloom like flowers  
in the season of
spring* ~
I didn't care to lose it,
it was a paperweight to me.
And i was lifted into different corners of possibilities as i was freed,
I was no longer caged in the idea
that I was young or naive,
that no one could know me.

And still no one knows me,
for I'm not just my body.
My soul;
it's own entity.

And though I curve towards you,
I know your warmth,
and I shiver
under your chest,
You are no different
than the rest.
Let's just say I pictured losing my virginity to be a lot more self-discovering.
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